welcome to "despair23" world

i'm out

2012-02-06T04:05:00.001+08:00

i'm shifting my blog.... very soon... keep u update.. as of now... this is officially done

november 11

2011-11-08T01:19:00.003+08:00

cant sleep, though sleepy

for a moment, i finally feel my hardwork is finally paying off... though the fruit is still very raw but i am very very satisfied with its current growth... I for once have grown a lot during this hardship... and especially proud that i have make it this far...

many would have their fair share of say, i know

however i'm glad i no longer need to walk that hardship anymore

many challenges still lies ahead... its ok, one great leader once say "if u came out alive on the whatever challenges that is thrown, you already win"

I am especially proud of myself

still some distance but i make that 1 million from pure sweat and hardwork...

as i look back throughout the years, i have seen my growth, financially, emotionally and the way i handle certain aspect

i have also grown respect on certain individual

in god i trust

seizing opportunity is one thing, building result out of it is another

jumping out of comfort zone is definetely the hard part into a drowning zone, jumping out from the drowning zone is even tougher, seeing how many ppl fail and die there... i knew, i merely make it out

status means nothing if its not earn, same as respect

but who am i to say anything as i have yet to earn mine

every individual play their part.... this i knew

respect is not earned by how many money u earned but by what legacy you have build

though some politician are dirty, however many were not known on what they have sacrifice to be where they are

i however at this junction of my life lack the respect on those spoil second-generation which i would put it under those who born since 1978.

These spoiled child have no clue what life holds, picturing how perfect the world is

am i the only one that is annoy by this??

seriously, i can handle as many hardship that can be thrown at me...

its just handling women's emotion puzzle me

but its ok.. this is the exiciting part of life... balancing it all out

i just want to yell "I HAVE CRAWL OUT OF THE DROWNING ZONE~!!"

and i did it all without my parents help.... financially and also emotionally

wife and god did the magic

credit to them

not friend

-n-

:( yupe

2011-08-04T01:25:00.003+08:00

forget about what prp, forget about what viva

i cant even bring myself to the mirror...

i'm reliefing myself off duty for a while....

not that i need a rest buti just cant bring myself to do anything at the moment

burning a heaven doesn't always bring u another heaven

retardo

2011-05-19T23:26:00.003+08:00

i think i speak for all non-muslim in this country that malaysia is a bias yet racist country

it's not entirely fair.... and the living expenses is high....

seriously... like whats the whole good point staying in malaysia, i don have much clue

lets not compare it with other third world country

but then come to think about it... malaysia is kinda third world... isn't it??

somehow... staying in singapore or thailand seems much better... to say the least

china is another crappy country

to get fairness, u got to go to western thinking countries.... english speaking to make it short

i shake my head in despair understanding how stupid malaysia is and despite its potential.... it's turning to be a laughing stock

a person spoke to me.... why hate BN when they make good decisions and didn't actually do anything bad

seriosuly?? it's changes that some would like to c

and i do believe in giving chances

lets c what opposition can do if given a chance

USD weaken

2011-04-25T23:55:00.002+08:00

Speech by Dr. Harald, economic prof for Yale University stats that the weakening of USD will cause Outside investor to invest in its property, since the property bubble burst, US economy has taken a back seat.

Thats take number 1.

Take number is to increase investment in the US while trying to push export from the US which is gold, silver, and metal.

I can forsee a further drop, however don't expect it to drop past 2.8 when peg against RM

work

2011-04-11T23:03:00.000+08:00

more work to be done..... work ah...... work ah....... work ah.......

dumb ass

2011-04-11T22:31:00.002+08:00

sometimes its not all about pride or having that agony feeling but more of the moral value... if u don stand for something, u dont stand on anything and i hate having to keep working hard but unable to harvest any fruit... its easy for ppl to say when the one working hard is not the person themself... i don want to live that really hard poor life anymore... it's really really really tough interesting enough, not many ppl walked that life thus they don't really understand the word tough.... and just like to act like they r the king of the world like steve job say "u lead your own life and your path its way"

peacing

2011-03-14T22:52:00.002+08:00

have not been blogging for a while.. as u have guessed... i have been really busy with work and studies....

finger cross... i will be relief next year as i don have to be busy with school work anymore... if i graduated

i'm seriously quite over with school... yeah, thats it... no more school for me once i graduated..

was reading some blog over the weekend and was surprise... how come there's still people who have no graduated from a degree yet

i mean... he's already 27

if u r taking soem proffesional course... that i probably would have understand... but 27 still studying a degree?? u got to be kidding me

26 already a killer...

how long do ppl need to study before they get this degree

probably there's some family issue or whatever... i don't know

he seems ok to me... as happenign as ever and even likes blogging... like.. can't u just for once be serious about your life and just finish what u have started??

i view it as quite a failure if u were to asked me...

but u c... life is hard.... getting out of this rat race is quite fun but hard... i don c any way out... its like we're stuck in this stupid rat race.... running in circles

i overheard someone wantd to start a part time business doing this bird next thing... he is an auditor by the way.... i wonder where will he find the time to juggle between auditing and also selling bird nest....

my opinion, only business earn money... how much u earn with how much effort u put in depends on how well u run it

few things i think are over hype

1) properties - someone told me, involve in the property business is the best industry one can indulge in. why is it that everyone think being a property agent earns hell lots of money. thats decent money but not hell lot.

u c, why would i say so... developer earns a lot... property owner earns a lot...

this is how i look at it... if today individual A fork out energy worth of RM2 and get paid RM4, thats bad news, if he get paid somewhat around RM12-20. Thats decent good money. And if one day individual A decided to stop working and still get paid in the region of RM5-RM8. Thats good money

i don think property agent can get any money if they stop working.

2)insurance agent - oh please. at this generation if u r young. dont go day dream. do something else...

3)stock market - if u put in the same amount of effort into working something else... u probably get more or less the same return

4) Multi-level marketing - seriously??

i agree with high risk- high return. i do, but while doing something risky, make sure u r damn good at it

for example, u asked a football player to take a penalty kick and not a golfer. U don't asked a princess to trim the lawn.

if u r not good at something while opt for the low risk - low return thing...

my point of view... u better save your money for something else

y??

life is funny... something opportunities pass by and unless u grab it... it'll gone... at times u cant grab it because u're lack in terms of money

my second take... u will at times c young people driving an awesome nice car with a branded watch... and maybe there's inside of u came this whisper "have to work like dog to get this, not worth" or "must be parents buy la" or "dont know do what dirty job to get it"

point is, we work to live a nice living, which include enjoying our life, living nice house and driving nice car. thats enjoyment

if work so hard also cannot enjoy it then work for what

who cares if u have to work really hard to get those material stuff... at least that person is working

till then... continue my assignment..

peace out

damn

2011-03-03T01:04:00.002+08:00

there's a few thing that really drives me up the wall...

1) when things i did or do was not well appreciated... u know this seriously makes me go nuts and crazy and i hate this thing... i really do, cause it makes me feel stupid doing it and i hate feeling stupid....

2) when stupid ppl tends to do stupid things.... but still pretend they are smart... oh damn... please wake up.... first thing first, u r stupid that's why u do stupid stuff but rathet than acknowledging that u r stupid.... u act smart...

i cant take this type od human being

i give an example....

A decided to leave job 1 for job 2 B believing 2 holds good future but after 3 months, A find out that job 2 does not hold the future... but instead or rather than changing or find an alternative... A just stick with it, and look see..

like what the hell, thats number one... secondly... r u stupid??

some r even more interesting... always speak of money not enough or work is too much... but rather than doing something about it... they stick with it

maybe u know what u r doing but hell... u seems lost to me

that really bothers me

and the appreciation thing.......... so,etimes i feel like smashing its head on the wall when i felt not appreciated....

damn

yeah

damn

lame

2011-02-15T13:00:00.000+08:00

stupid Ass...... seriously....... thats some lame stupid stupid ass.......

flowers

2011-02-15T00:47:00.001+08:00

and everybody says thank you for receiving that flowers........

thats too sweet

The Fray How to save a life (acoustic)

2011-02-01T19:13:00.000+08:00

Teenage Dream - Katy Perry (Boyce Avenue piano acoustic cover)

2011-02-01T01:33:00.000+08:00

quote

2011-01-31T22:58:00.000+08:00

it doesnt matter how much is the ring... the worth is not on the price n value of d diamond cause it's not for sale, it is not a trade too... but the value is on the person who gives it, and the person who receives it ... their love n trust n bond ...

Apologize (Studio Recording) - Kris Allen [DOWNLOAD]

2011-01-31T01:50:00.000+08:00

我愛他-丁噹 full version with lyrics

2011-01-30T23:29:00.000+08:00

i'm your play-thing

2011-01-23T23:01:00.000+08:00

Lil Wayne - Drop The World ft. Eminem

2011-01-23T23:00:00.000+08:00

quote

2011-01-23T04:17:00.000+08:00

*The woman came out of a man's rib; Not from his feet to be walked on; Not from his head to be superior, but from his side to be equal; Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved

nice quote for women

thoughts

2011-01-23T02:27:00.002+08:00

very sure finger will point it ways to me again...

anyway... poke anyway u want...

god once said.... he never let his child down or leave his child alone...

again.. i knew i had made enemies more than friends but i believe saying own true thoughts is always better than saying the other way...

idiot

2011-01-23T02:06:00.003+08:00

some idiot post how he got gamer of the year and thanks for those that support him...

he is serious about it..

he seems serious about it....

well at least he is serious about something...

i heard of something serious...

that seem serious too...

by the way... why is that guy even so happy to be voted as gamer of the year... i understand if it's young proffesional of the year

gamer of the year??

this is one funny generation

nevertheless if he can still put food on the table... that should be fine.. i'm sure his son will be proud of his gamer of the year award thing...

my advise

just don go fight over that playstation with your children next time... and yeah... don get too indulge with it until u forget about your family eh...

no wonder it took u 7 years to graduate and another 18 months to find yourself a job... u r too indulge into this gaming thing, man... seriously

remembering?

2011-01-23T02:00:00.000+08:00

quote

2011-01-23T01:55:00.003+08:00

how many actually knew or realize that quote... some actually would let emotion get through their head than actually acknowledge it...

words

2011-01-23T01:53:00.000+08:00

january 23 (ii)

2011-01-23T01:39:00.003+08:00

divorce is anti-climatic by O'Maolchaithaigh

2011-01-23T01:35:00.001+08:00

Calling me a cheap, stingy bastard wounded it
telling me I was planning to leave cut deeper
calling me a liar was nearly fatal
saying we should go our separate ways stopped its heart

I was willing to try resuscitation through counseling
your refusal staked it through its heart
asking for a quit-claim to the house put it in a coffin
telling me I had to leave nailed the coffin shut
threatening to call the police if I didn’t move out -
buried the marriage deep in the ground.

Divorce is anti-climactic.

january 23

2011-01-23T01:28:00.001+08:00

torture of my soul

2011-01-23T01:27:00.000+08:00

Forgive me as my soul does have
A melancholy tone,
But this bitter world
Gets even darker
When you’re forced to cry alone—
And I can only walk through life
On a distant, wayward road…
And hope someone will understand
The footsteps of my soul.

I travel down a darkened path
Of a tear’s old weary street
And see my peace as broken glass,
As fear with stomping feet
Begins to make a dreadful noise
As sorrow beats its drums—
The haunting voice of trembling doubt
Slowly begins to hum…
slowly
slowly
Taunting me
With cruelty so cold
slowly
slowly
Playing still—
The rhythm of my soul…

The shadows with a stubborn stench
Of grave like fumes of pain
Hold the burn of heartache’s poison
And pierce me with their fangs.
My veins are heavy with the flow,
My plea is, “HELP ME PLEASE!”
I cannot bear the agony
So I fall down on my knees.
I scream the sound of misery
For that’s the story
That has been told,
And so the title has been written—
“The Torture of My Soul.”

The story’s told within my eyes,
The tune is in my voice—
My lips, they long to form a smile
My heart wants to rejoice
But the jury
Of vengeful
Sorrow’s court
Says I’m GUILTY in this life!
Therefore,
The judge
Of misery’s seed
Says I’ll have NO LIGHT!

Weeping is the melody
Of a damaged soul like mine;
A battered tune of scattered notes;
The ticking of lost time…
All chiming in to play my song
To tell me of my woes…
To say that I’m a tortured soul
With nothing left to show.

But they don’t know.

And so…

In the fog of disappointment
In the traps set by shame
In the woods of misfortune
Through the graveyard of pain,
Past the thorns of mistakes
Beyond the fire of my dread
Somewhere there is light,
So I’ll march on ahead,

As I’m tortured
And I’m weary,
I’m damaged,
And I’m battered,
My soul may be torn,
My peace may be shattered,
My burdens may be heavy
And I…
I’ll have to crawl
But I’ll get there…to the light.

I’ll make it through it all.

broken teapot

2011-01-23T01:08:00.002+08:00

words of wisdom

2011-01-23T00:53:00.003+08:00

i really like this song... but i cant find it anywhere... it's called "zhi li ming yan" original written by you hong ming, which was sang by sammi cheng

she says,

after goodbye still can meet a better person,
it's cold, bitter and silent here
he nod and let it go

he says,

after let go, each can fly alone
giving her back her previous own world
should each be touched by this?

i let the conclusion be the judgement... sometimes each do not know what each has to risk until its there

a wind suddenly blew by, that seems to take each breath out
leaving but a traces of loneliness

a quoted stated...

in a relationship, its important that two person share the same dream... and that they should felt respected and love.... nothing more or less

words of wisdom

keeping it short

2011-01-22T00:24:00.002+08:00

i am keeping this short

to tell ownself.. "that i will work really hard, despite many obstacles in front, i should climb over.. its a cold and cruel world outside... and at times we make enemies more than friends... but seriously... stay strong~!!! like real strong...."

陳冠希 Edison Chen - I Never Told You

2011-01-21T20:32:00.000+08:00

Nokia C7 as remote control for BMW car

2011-01-21T15:08:00.000+08:00

may 11

2011-01-21T01:27:00.003+08:00

mark it on your calender...

just finish some of my thesis... which will be defended this coming september... draft to be submitted this coming july... now.. thats some pressure... i never really defended any thesis before and this definetely will be some challenge...

can we go by not knowing what we are doing?? its seriously not as easy as u thought it is...

CNY is around the corner but what i'm more excited about is that durian seems to be around again.. oh that awesome fruit... i'm happy

i always believe man or woman should always upgrade themselves at any given time...

upgrading in sense of knowledge, material wise, status, monetary... just about anything.. we should upgrade ourself

how are u planning to upgrade yourself this year?? leave those resolution alone.. nobody gonna really do it...

2011 will be massive for me.. i c much changes happening this year....

no more sweating for exam after 2011... oh lol.. y all the PHD if i sweat for it... i truly enjoy the process after all

:)

i want to get myself a watch... badly... and not just some watch.... i want to get a watch that i really really like... again.. keeping my finger cross for that

oh yeah.. had a nice crab earlier.. havent had a crab for sometime...

oh lol.. yeah check this out

i was checking this guys' pic from fb... lol... it makes me laugh... whats up with this guy age 27 putting this stupid V sign.... seriously... i really hate when i c guys putting that stupid finger up... cant they just take picture like normal being?? cant they just smile??.... and of course... the worst of all... guys that acted cute when taking pictures... man!! stop it.. it's disgusting.. u r 27 and not 17.. even if u're 17... u should not do so too... it looks gay and it looks stupid

well thats my opinion... i'm keeping my thoughts with me.. don tell me it's wrong...

so keep upgrading there... its always nice seems ppl getting best of their life and enjoy it... at the same time seeing them getting better and better

i c ppl changing cars... getting new watch... getting a home... getting married... getting that branded things... travelling around the world...

well... keep up the work... don fall back behind..

u know goverment r ripping us chinese off... not to say i'm racist but come on... am i the only one thinking this 1 malaysia is a stupid hoax??

there's no 1 malaysia... there's probably 1 bumiputera... no, no.. let me rephrase... there's 1 politics.... yeah, politician or ppl involve in it r the one that gain the upper hand whereby the working class is the one that got rip off

with prices inflatting at an all time high... i c many families start to suffer... so upgrading ownself eventually becoming an issue...

yeah.. true that more ppl r graduating with degrees.. some masters... and bunch lots of phds...

but i also c much more dropout... dropouts who don really have much motivation in life...

i'm 27 this year...

many ppl share the same age as me...

and i'm still stuck in this rat race...

i vow to get out ASAP

damn it

2011-01-16T03:46:00.001+08:00

while many i saw checking into zouk or partying away in the weekend.. while others r sleeping now

me?? this is crap... finishing phd work.... damn it~!!! i want to sleep and it's already 4am

cam cam

2011-01-16T02:22:00.002+08:00

its getting stupid when someone is over 26 and still take self potrait acting cute...

be it a guy or a gurl... it looks stupid....

if its a guy... oh seriously... u should be shoot in the head...

and believe when i say i saw a 30 year old girl though don really look 30.. anyway.. still cam-whore and acting shitless cute... i just cant stand this ppl

worst.. they r not even celeb

yeah.. celeb in their own world

up up and down down

2011-01-15T20:55:00.002+08:00

up up, down down

yeah... thats how roller coaster r... some enjoy while some hate it

i don mind the up and down but the twist turn, turn and turn that i hate most... like seriously, whats with the turning... pay to get dizzy and resulting in throwing up??

lets talk of something else

on personal note... i have been tired.. reading past entries.. it always stated that i'm tired.. have i ever been energetic.. oh lol

i don want to get too personal... just at times... craziness drive me really tired

on school work...

like seriously... i don get half of what i'm doing... PHD is seriously so not easy.... i don think it'll be easy but this is like serious Permanent Head Damage... it's crazier than u think it is...

on work...

the money is not enough and i'm working hard to increase that

on personal stand point...

self improvement is not gaining speed and i feel... i'm getting slower... which is not good... but i'm just tired of pulling my socks up...

let me share with u a story... interesting one

lady A and Boy B

Lady A requested she wants a, b, c and d. Boy B cant agree all but did however agree 2 of the above. the other 2 body B promise he will do his best.

Boy B turns to request. He request only a. Lady A rejects.

ok, maybe it's too much... boy B plans to request other..

at this point i want to say... basically it's pointless... lady A don really care what boy B thinks thus she rejects the first time... of the many times boy B request, it will be the same... the time when lady A agrees is when the request can be done easily by her.... it's not furfilling request then...

i'm very sure it happens to many men outside... going way out for lady A and being boy B

ok, up and running.. i just want to speak my mind out... heading out....

Schiller - Let me love you (Official Video)

2011-01-04T02:28:00.000+08:00

fly

2011-01-03T01:56:00.002+08:00

time for superman to fly....

there's a lot of dreamer out there... and they r not the only one

louis van gaal was told he cant be an artist because he have only 1 ear... he replied " i can't hear u"

fly as high as we can... and thats what we're born to do... to touch the sky

so lets fly

toast

2011-01-03T01:49:00.003+08:00

oh.. report and more homework... this is tiring

question were pop and without much hesitation... it's been agreed... i'm more than happy

rather than lets c how it goes... enough of hiccups already and just clear the air

:)

again... i'm happy...

i want it to go well... lets hope all the arguing is done... no, seriously... sometimes argue r tiring...

saw a watch i really really like.... i'm dreading on getting my hands on it...

toast for myself at this moment... more toast coming.. :)

take a break 22

2010-12-27T23:54:00.002+08:00

some women that just like to argue or stir the pot....

man, cant u keep the ocean calm and all?? so yeah the storm came... what do u do??

keep it calm

so yeah, the sea got rough.. what do u do??

keep it calm

so yeah, the great battle between countries occur at the sea.. what do u do??

keep it calm

so yeah, its the time of the year where the great whale do some jumping in the ocean causing massive wave.. what do u do??

keep it calm

again.... at times tsuname came... what do u do??

still the same.. keep it calm

but no... is it gene or too emotion driven.... even a prawn swim through, u have to make a hawaiian wave out of it?? serious??

i have seen countless of such cases.... cant women just keep the ocean calm

of course not to be bias... men have his own fair share of problems too but come on... keep it calm

some men likes to yell or throw a fist... i think thats beyond stupid... i hate ppl yelling for nothing

some women i listen or observe... like to overreact and again... stir the ocean rather than keep it calm....

i mean come on... life bring enough chaos....

not enough money already a headache

take shit from the boss also another stab in the ass (not to mention customer's complain)

sometimes life ain't all rainbows and butterflies and to make life easy... we just have to ride the wave and try to make things easy.... not hard

u c, we r all commoner and ain't no bill gates or some super sweet 16 type of family... we cant afford surprises.. and we're not in movies... we don have things directed earlier for us...

sometimes after work or anything else.. men or women or anyone else... just want to chill out and hang out with their love one... some r parents, some the significant others while others r pets...

give life a break....

stay happy

don always sulk and dwell with sadness

i'm 26 and i probably have another 44 years to go if i were to die at 70... its not hell lots of time

i just dont understand why ppl want to lead their life in unhappy way

if some ppl make u unhappy, forget about it.. move on and be happy...

charlie chaplin have a song called smile... it teaches us try to be happy

seriously

think before u sulk and cause others to feel bad as if its their problem....

when u sulk or unhappy... dwell with it and STOP IT RIGHT THERE.. don spread it

donnie yen

2010-12-27T22:36:00.002+08:00

i really like this donnie yen guy.... i think most guys do too.... his movies r awesome.....

assignment

2010-12-27T20:34:00.002+08:00

its an interesting weekend though i din really go anywhere.. bored?? its tiring.. yeah, thats what happen when u don really move much...

in regards... studies is pilling up again... yeah, yet again... to many that say that studies is a piece of cake... seriously, i'm not that of a smart ass so... its a tough work for me...

i'm going a bit hay-wire at the moment... pondering to really have a nice clean break from all the hassle...

just a clean hassle free day would be really nice.... something like having a fishing trip out in the sea.... an occasion dip into the water if its not too dangerous... yeah... thats something

receive a call from a friend stating we wants to start a business.. he needs my advise... do i look like some sort of business consultant?? anyway if i can be part of the setup and earn some money off it.... i don really mind sharing...

speaking of which... i'm deeply considering doing some B to C business... a daycare centre

many would said... it's already out in the open.... and that many r doing it

put aside Qdees and those franchise daycare... i'm talking about a quality one here....

and i hardly can c 1... many parents r pondering on where to find a good daycare centre as they r of course busy with work.... not wanting to leave the kids with the nanny or burden the old folks....

so a daycare would be nicer than sending these kids to learn ballet, painting, language class, english class, piano lesson, and some even tae kwan do....

i don think the set up is cheap but hell... if someone is willing to put in the cash... i don mind giving him my idea.... so long as i get paid of course

yeah, money money and more money.... lets be frank for a moment... without money, its seriously torture ass

put an example

i got kinda requested to fly to sabah for a night today... putting aside the time... am i that rich to spend my money that way for a night?? no, its not about worth or not worth... so if i languish it, and i have to work 2 weeks to gain that money back... it's a waste of 2 weeks time...

and i hate this

because i don have that money to do what i want

i seriously hate this situation

and i'm working hard on it

though i know there r more things that's more important that the greens but come on... who r we kidding.. without money, what can we do

there's no starbuck, the baskin robin, the LV, that sushi or even anything at all..

oh, i have live some really poor and crappy life to understand, being poor felt like shit

and if someone who has not experience such life... i don think anyone would understand what poor life means

we all hate that

so yeah, don blame me for being kinda money minded...

talk to another customer of mine for quite sometime today and i got insight into her married life...

its fun in the beginning as she said but things get sour.... the kids, the financial crisis and all lead to the devastating divorce

when i listen from her point of view... i think to myself.... she is so not strong... she seems like a troublemaker more than a person to keep things intact.... no wonder it leads to divorce

though i cant blame it all on her... its a two way thing...

however i can c her business falling apart soon... not being a mean guy but she dont have that strong mind to hold her business...

its very unfortunate for her... and inside i feel a bit sad for her...

and then this lead me to think about another thing... i knew of a person... who although kinda smart... is drop dead lazy

i don have high expectation him unless he change but i don think he will... games is his priority... when the parents is old and worn out.. i wonder how is he going to take care of the family... he is without any saving

speaking of saving... i definetely need to spend less... i need to start saving... and earning... fast!!

and more!!!

till now... got to do my assignment and shit...

lol

2010-12-26T04:38:00.002+08:00

nice christmas gathering which i get to c my cousins and all... long time no c... i enjoy their company

cat is kinda out of the box.. oh lol... now i really have to buckle up and do a good job

try harder

2010-12-23T22:24:00.002+08:00

try harder?? is that what u call try harder??

ask 10 and 10 will answer u the same thing... its not like i'm cheating or doing something bad... beside u r well aware what i'm doing...

forehead in pain

2010-12-23T22:17:00.002+08:00

come on... what is with the treatening thing?? seriously, u really think treatening someone is the best way??

hands up in the air....

i ran out of idea on knowing what to do...

i asked u to think of something else u go and say it's too realistic... then u lock yourself up and think about something else...

*slap on forehead*

surprises

2010-12-23T19:39:00.002+08:00

u know sometimes i just hate the feeling of having a fever... u r cold on the outside and hot on the inside.. lol... i'm sure many share the same hatred feeling towards having a fever

for sometime i have not put in my blog.. is it lazy or just plain busy... a little of both i would say...

not that i have tons of things to write down here today...

an article once stated, in our busy city life... is there a real meaning in chasing wealth?? if u were to ask me... i would say without much doubt that money is drop dead important... for without that cash... u cant really do much... many share the same thoughts but there's also an equal amount of people who disagree with me

one would ask... whats the point of having tons of money...

lol... buy things and lead a comfortable life

what is comfort without family and friends?? am i right to say so

so many things to prepare as i'm heading something big... make a few calls here and there... all i can say is... its a lot of work...

prepare for some surprises here and there for next year...

till then

howdy

2010-12-04T21:43:00.002+08:00

howdy,

has not been blogging for sometime... i got really busy and at times when i reach home, i prefer to just do my own things rather than blogging...

kinda got some little myself time and just want to write something...

got a mail from my prof... asking me to submit further journal studies and also the development of the research.. crap.. and i didn't do much... gonna get the engine going

speaking of engine... car is giving me its fair share of headache... car without warranty surely sucks...

speaking of that... also got to work hard on my new project... got my head wet with the new medical division... work pile up all of a sudden... work is always heavy at the start of a new project

then there's the saving money thing... fuh~~ i seriously work hard and my way around to gain some $$$ but damn it... it just keeps leaking away... wow...

and the ysay i'm greedy for demanding a 30k commission... u know, 10k means nothing nowadays

2 t-shirt and a pair of shoes already cost more than 500... thats how high our cost of living is

more and more friends r getting married.... it'll be interesting to c how mine goes

more work to be done.... better get going as i'm feeling sleepy now...

share more the next time...

ciao

Mainlanders in Hong Kong (w/ English Subs) Funny!

2010-11-16T19:05:00.000+08:00

T.I. - Live Your Life [feat. Rihanna] (Video)

2010-11-04T20:32:00.000+08:00

verse:

got everybody watching what i do, come walk in my shoes

and c the way i'm living if u really want to

got my mind on my money, and i'm not going away

keep on climbing, look in the mirror and keep on shinning

--------------------

amazing verse

takers

2010-11-03T00:21:00.002+08:00

watch the movie taker...

i know there r mix reviews on this movie.. but seriously... i kinda like it... it gives me something like the "crash" movie... starring matt dillon again too

movie shows u... human can be greedy and sometimes greed can lead u to many many harm way...

i know

i have my little take on a lot of things...

but a friend once told me... we should seriously careless about what many should say about us...

honestly... how much can we care for afterall....

true.. sometimes our opinions could be laughed by many in which i'm sure, u had once or twice been laugh at on your view...

why some despise your view...

i say.. its ok... if we would to take everybody's criticism into consideration then that wouldn't be our view... thats their view...

each individual should be different for each have their own set of brain... we r not program to think everything exactly the same for we all walked different path

anyway....

i got a small lecture today

and i replied... r u the type who like to talk of prevention or like to critic ppl.. or just simply like to talk

she replied... i'm all of the above

i find such answer to be extremely stupid...

it's like... when asked why do u act stupid, the person reply because he/she is stupid...

seriously.. is that answer?? think before u utter

anyway.... i hate it when someone say this... firstly... if u want to talk of prevention, then let's work out a solution.. fair and square

if u want to critic then be prepare to get critic back for unless your critism lead to a solution... then thats prevention don just criticise for the sake of it

then thats the third one... talk for the sake of talking... so everybody likes to talk... i agree but talking is a two way traffic... but its like u talk, i listen.. then thats a lecture

lecture... again, r u teaching something i want to know, i never knew of or teaching me something new?? if not... y u lecturing?? because u want to have a lecturer feel?? oh please.. go do some teaching then...

put the lecture thing aside...

i hate being given orders... cant it just work out together?? like it have to be.. oh before this, before that.... am i in military school or what??

u know... society is already giving us pressure, family does too, not to mention work... there's the pressure of earning money, doing well, doing good....

the closest should be lending a helping hand... not increase the burden

ppl don't strive under burden.... and its not cool

make it

2010-10-29T01:14:00.002+08:00

i knew i can make it and the start of the journey is a bit tough... but with determination.. i should be able to make it

i'm enjoying my studies at this moment... but i couldn't wait for it to finish either...

it's a tough tough journey... but again.. i'm sure i can make it

crap

2010-10-21T21:51:00.001+08:00

and i hate this feeling at this moment...

the crappy feeling... yea..

crap

work harder

2010-10-21T21:13:00.002+08:00

just ran through an article at kiplinger.com

it stated 5 young individual who earn their first million before 25... damn it

really got to start working like really hard...... just not hard enough

no... seriously... got to work twice as hard...

James Dean (I Wanna Know) - Now 53

2010-10-21T20:34:00.000+08:00

king

2010-10-21T02:04:00.001+08:00

last but definetely not the least... lets show them who is the king now..

happy birthday

2010-10-21T02:00:00.001+08:00

happy birthday to all october babies....

may u be bless with many many happy returns...

with great years ahead, also with many gucci, LV, channel ahead too

:)

happy birthday again....

part 3 (bad luck)

2010-10-21T01:52:00.009+08:00

part 2

2010-10-21T01:41:00.012+08:00

to share

2010-10-21T01:33:00.009+08:00

music to my ear

2010-10-21T00:48:00.004+08:00

i could just spend hours listening to musics at this blog

http://only-rainbow.blogspot.com

it plays really cool and relaxing musics... which is nice to ear during night time...

great taste.... when u r in mood for songs of course

it gets annoying when u r listening to something else though... i don know how to pause the music... lol

keep shinning

2010-10-21T00:35:00.004+08:00

everybody have their talents, some excel on certain field while others on the opposite field...

just because some people could not reach their dream, never let them destroy ours too

we know it ourself.. better than anyone we are not worthless crap and we should really let our talent shine..

i say.. keep shinning....

stop doubting ownself and start believing instead... u c wonders...

way to go

2010-10-21T00:25:00.001+08:00

lol.. just realize one of my friend is actually one fm's happy hour 4pm-8pm deejay

i'm happy for him... way to go wayne~~

stand by

2010-10-20T02:56:00.000+08:00

i know who has been standing by...

:)

well said

2010-10-19T23:18:00.002+08:00

read from news somewhere that rooney wanted to leave Man Utd, seriously... i feel happy about it... i cant really hide my hatred towards Man Utd...

had a meeting last sunday... it was a really long meeting...

talked a lot too during the meeting....

we both shared our views and also thought on many things... studies, ladies, work and also many other things

though life is really about living it and enjoying it... one can't deny that living it needs cash and this is how all the rat race began... racing to get more cash

some eventually jump out... many however will not be able to do so... i'm one of them that is still running this race...

lets not think big

i was running through this facebook thing and saw one video posting... the title is of police intimidating and bribing.. some sort or so... recorded by a lady on cop... i don get if the cop is from JPJ, bandaraya or what... they r wearing this black uniform.. so i have not much clue...

anyway... my point is... the lady make a mistake... which prompt the cops to give her a summon... this is where she starts recording and seriously make a big fuss of how the cop is intimidating her, and how she will report to the police station that the cop took her identification card... i try to trace back the link but apparently it already been put as private

anyway those who have not much clue... i should put this really simple.. my opinion

this lady is seriously crazy... no, seriously dumb...

i mean, if u make a mistake.. admit u r wrong, and asked for solution.. the hell u want to talk so much... and secondly... u even asked the cop if he understand the word intimadating?? serious... if u r wrong.. just accept your summon... thats it.. like whats with all the smack talk...

and then worst... there's bunch of comment agreeing with the lady... all this remind me of the big accident that happen in cheras few months back.. whereby the BHP staff don't allow the fire extinguisher to be borrow...

first and foremost these r foreigners... ppl who hated these foreigner don't understand what is it like to be a foreigner and possibly working without permit in other country....

i know all this r opinion and everybody r entitle for their own opinion.... and have the right to reserve their own opinion... but when u r ready to speak your opinion out... make sure u r ready to accept criticism... don't take it hard, asked if u don't understand why others reject your opinion... its through conversation u understand more and maybe make adjustment on your opinion

and yes, opinion can be changed....

strictly speaking i'm a person who have lots of opinion on a lot of things... though my vocab r pretty weak at times in delivering my opinions... i don shy away from giving it out...

and i find as a scholar.. one should voice their opinion, view, solution and also point of what problem that they saw.... its a different angle all together, why then should we be ignorant or stubborn on certain things

take it as a healthy conversation that just include heavy topics...

healthy as in the conversation needs to be logical...

i was planning on changing my car... have been doing a lot of scouting... and i took this discussion of car changing to 3 person...

the first person told me... "just changed, change la.. only few hundred more.. it won't hurt u.. just change it to the better 1 la"
-dumb ass answer... and i hate such asnwer because this ppl don't analyze the situation and just give stupid answer.. maybe he got lazy in analyzing it.. but because of such answer he gave... it makes him look down right dumb... he couldn't justify his answer and there ain't much reason.. he just talk..

the other two was just ok answer

i always feel this way, when a person who asked u question, he or she is already in doubt and want answer and when someone asked another individual question... u shouldn't throw more question to him or her... u will just confuse that person

u can justify why u asked so...

i dont know if ppl r just lazy or having problem expressing their thoughts into words

been doing some reflecting work.. reflecting myself....

one once told me what kind of person i am... and until an individual really know who i am... i'm an ass-hole

lol

i am whatever u say i am else why would u say i am

of course i can't please everyone but i cant be so ignorant of others feelings too... but then unless one told me whats their beef with me... how then i should know whats the beef all about

then someone again told me this... that i shouldn't have to wait until ppl voice their displease, prevent is better than cure

but u c, i really dont have time or energy to please everyone... u seriously think bill gates go around pleasing everyone or thinking about something else... how about eistein?? i'm not saying i'm one of them but i'm very many out there don't have time and energy to please everyone too...

hate or no hate... who like to have enemies but then... i don owe everyone the world...

inflated ego?? of course humble r always good... u c, jose mourinho r ego human, c.ronaldo r ego person... whatever it is, ego sometimes make u hate to lose... like really really hate to lose...

and my ego r nomally my opinion which i dont really brush it on someone's face... my blog is the place where i voice my opinion... so i dont think my ego r over inflated because i never brush it on someone's face... it's just my opinion voice out loud here...

and i don think its wrong

or course reserve your judgement... everyone have their own judgement.. like me.. seriously.. like to judge ppl base on a lot of things except the beauty of their personality.. lol

eminem says... nobody knows who u r is ok so long as the one who matter knows who u r, but most importantly, we should know ourself the best than anyone.. when asked who r u, u should have a well define answer of who u r...

well said

full of crap?

2010-10-13T21:23:00.001+08:00

life is full of crap.. but with pinch salt of creativity... it could be an awesome day

a smile aday goes a long way but it does brigthen up some faces...

:)

love the way you lie mashup

2010-10-13T04:16:00.003+08:00

VERSE ONE
I've been trying figure out a way of what I wanna say
But everytime I'm about to say it, my pride just gets in the way

But tonight that aint' the case, I came to say what I wanna say
My mind can think whatever, I promise I won't obey

I've been fighting through the stress, trying get if off my chest
But I guess, you're the only who truly knows me best

And we fighting every other day, but now it's nothing new
It's another typical day of the life of me and you

Some things you just can't fix, that's the way it gotta be
So I put the blame on you, then you bring it back on me

Don't you see that we throwing these problems up in a circle?
And if we continue with it, our love will never go further

It's the truth babygirl, don't act like you don't know
Everybody else does, we easily let it show

We holding on to something that we will know never last
So maybe we should call it quits and just leave it in the past,

VERSE TWO
Been here for a while, feels like I'm stuck now
This is the reason why I didn't wanna settle down

I know I love you, but love is so complicated
And now were both debating on something that love created

But it's so hard when you fall in love at such an early age
Different girl, same story, you're just scared to turn the page

So I break into a rage, fresh up outta the cage
I can't even look at you, I got nothing else to say

You begging me to speak for at least 5 minutes
40 minutes go by and we still ain't even finished

What the hell do I do? To finally prove to you
That there ain't another man that will love you like I do

You say you found another; I say I found another too
But we both know deep inside that's not really true

It's only me and you, and nothing will come between us
So if it's really love, I just hope we really mean it

VERSE THREE
I try to hold in my tears, but I just cannot do it
I know you ain't worth it, but I am about to lose it

Wait, what am I saying?! Cus baby you are worth it
And people call us crazy but we like to call it perfect

One second I wanna kiss you, the other, I wanna hit you
Lying, cheating, fighting, what couple don't got issues?

I'm about to snap, and like magnets we attract
But no matter how bad, we just keep on coming back

I promise that I've changed,
I promise I'm not the same
I can promise this that and that,
But I know that I'll never change

I can't get away, I'm addicted to the pain
You always made sure, I'll never fall in love again

You're the pieces to my puzzle, you complete me so it seems
It was never my intention to smother you in my needs

The moral of the story, is I hope you understand
There' ain't another man that will love you like I can

work harder

2010-10-13T02:49:00.003+08:00

got to work really hard to achieve something

even when everybody tells u that u can't do it

against all odds, we have to rise up to challenge and so call "get the job done"

nothing ever comes easy in this world and we have to huff and puff for it

some might be really lucky, born with a silver spoon, lets called it the diamon spoon nowadays,

but unless the kid is somewhat brilliant and hardworking... the riches will not go far

keep pushing and working, this is what i tell myself...

i know i can climb this wall with my bare hand..

and i just finish my journals as well as my work... its tiring and i'm sleepy... but then again, as i just hola.. who say achieving something is darn easy...

there r setbacks in life and in times, it will even rain stones and u will have sand kick into your face, not to mention insults and also laugther that comes along it

but believing in our own ability is much more important... we dont need to make them eat their words, just hang on tight

i have at this moment, thousand of things running through my mind.. no seriously like literally thousand of things

from work to school to P.... no, its really a lot of things to think about

it's not about my fault or your fault, i wont stand the guilt trip and will only deal with it logically... though i know at times it is very hard because u don just deal logically with someone u care...

i receive a msg earlier, a friend of mine.. stating how she cant sleep because she almost got rape... serious matter... i asked her to report it to the police... she hesitate... and i stop replying... in just a short while i even find her messaging me to be annoying... i mean, seriously... u cant sleep because of this "rape" thing still bothers u but when i asked her to go report it... she hesitate.. like what the hell... am i right to say so

this is an example of how i deal things logically... basically no feelings involve..

and i knew there r things which u cant deal with it logically...

i forgot at times who i am... u don lead me just like that... i'm seriously much better than that... like much better...

u 2... whoever that is reading this.. much better than whoever preceive u to be... stand up and stiffen that upper lip...

i know at times we will be weak but we cant be so... i have my fair share of downs...

i don need no leader to lead me... najib alone is more than enough to bring much headache...

i lead my own life and i don need a leader to tell me who i am or what i should do... i appreciate comment and also opinion and maybe at times guidance too...

but i don need people to lead me through my life... u can support but u don need to lead it...

just need to work twice as hard... sometimes we need to fall in order to walk.. fall again in order to run... fall again in order to jump... fall again and again.. but stand back up.... thats what matter

thats my two cents

my favourite quote... "make sure u r damn proud of what u have achieve so far... if u r not.. u r not working smart and hard enough"

i know

2010-10-11T00:54:00.003+08:00

and its 12.55am...

i can't sleep now... why??

cause i have things that is bothering me which i don't like

what is that

for instances... i dont like it when i need to be told what to do... i know what i'm doing, of course there will be instances whereby my decision could be wrong thus throwing me off composure.. i rarely have no clue on what i'm doing

not many people in this world have that capable to throw me into doubt on whatever i'm doing... and i hate that doubt feeling...

seriously...

me?? of all people and i was doubt on my doing?? please god, spare me...

i'm getting tired of this... judge someone else...

i know what i'm doing.... and i'm sure its on the right track

dumb nut

2010-10-10T12:35:00.002+08:00

first and foremost i really hate some people who keep on calling... u c, if i din pick it up or i shut u down it usually means i'm busy so stop being so annoying.... throw me a message and i will get back to u

dumb ass

u have anything urgent, please look for my staff and thats the reason why i employ them...

i always say this if i were to do their work then why on earth do i need them?? they r there to take over my duty... in certain way...

seriously

dumb nut

killing me

2010-10-05T00:59:00.003+08:00

got woken up by some crazy ass bang... don't even know where it came from but enough to wake me up..

damn it

so here i am.. to drop a few words before i continue my sleep... got to wake up really early tom morning for some breakfast... not that i hated it... i kinda look forward to it...

:)

oh gosh.. work is catching up and unfortunately for me.. my cough is still lingering around.. it should be fine in a few more days

watched a lot of movies these past few days.... and i'm happy.... i really enjoy watching movies

ok, not to pen in more words as i just want to write something down

i'm sure everything will work out fine... as said... if its fated, no matter how u run away from it.. it'll come back and bite u in the ass... whatever its good or bad... if its fated, its fated...

my point is this.... don worry too much of what holds.... trust yourself and do good yourself.. whatever will be will be

goodnight all... more to write tom... if i got the time... work and classes r killing me~!! but hell... i enjoy it.. :)

man of sorrow

2010-09-24T08:13:00.002+08:00

they call this infamous painting as "the man of sorrow"

quoted from john 3:16

"god love his son so much that he gave his only son to die for human, and for those who beleive in jesus will have nothing but eternal life"

we need to be more than just strong in handling problems and also stress

its really down to us to bite the bullet through

nothing ever come easy... if it comes too easy... sometimes it really is too good to be true, blood and sweat need to be drawn before we set pace to a good life.. forget self-esteem.. nobody cares about your self esteem it is then u have achieve something that people will start to respect your self-esteem... however take pride in your work and of who u are... everybody is different but definetely serve a purpose to why we are here

worries

2010-09-24T07:57:00.001+08:00

i have my worries and stress too...

expectation

2010-09-23T01:14:00.003+08:00

fix my car... cost me a fortune.. crap

just as everything seems ok.. crap, another problem arise... crap

i got tired of fixing it... i went to test drive another car... awesome car... i really like that car a lot.. but damn is it expensive...

maybe i should just wait till next year...

for now i just want to get my watch... :)

only a week away before i start my PHD... but seriously, does it even matter?? i'm already start working on it.. wonder why they asked me to start on october when they already giving me tons of work to do...

it has been an awesome week for me.. in work i mean

seriously, don think that i am a toothless cat... i am probably feeling down and weak for the past few weeks to months but i can proudly say.. i'm actually a tiger

and this tiger already killed two customer, oh yea... its some serious shit killing too

lol

u know.. i got a better description

this friend of mine told me this

when P was here i was like a superman that can fly... but when she is not around i'm like a superman that cant fly...

i look like a superman that can fly now...

interesting analogy

was driving to have my lunch today... a horrible horrible chicken rice... while doing so, i parked my car just beside the restaurant... and in came this wira... oh yeah, wira again... i seriously began to hate this car.. anyway it has this music on really loud... with a ok looking guy walking out then.. acting like hot shot of course...

u c, the whole point of him pissing me off is... the parking space is suit for one car, why oh why would he park so close to my car forcing me having trouble getting out from my car??

retardo~!!

and the worst part is... he gave me this look as if he is some sort of hot shot

oh please~!! firstly, i find it really really paiseh to have music on really loud if u r driving any cars that is below 100k... yeah, its not even acceptable if its just some city or vios... it really look silly.. i can still accept if its civic

let alone a wira??

secondly... wtf with that stupid look?? u know... when u r driving some cheap car.. u don act glamourous... it dont tally

forget about his own problem or what burden... i care less...

u don act glamourous with that stupid car

i don think i'm any better now... but i'm sure my red riding hood is better than that wira of his... even so i don even dare to act glamourous

if somehow everything goes well.. hopefully i can change my car by the end of this year... yeah, though i know i just change my car

oh right... don condemn me if u r driving some cheap ass car...

i will continue to work really really hard to reach that pinacle

one should not be afraid to hit it hard... either u make it or u don't

one once said.... its always business that will earn u money and i couldn't agree more... but before u earn a business u need to learn how to sell... beside u don't just give up in the middle of something

seriously... one should not be demotivated so easily

as said... stop being sad but be great instead

laugh as u may... but stop being silly... focus on being great instead... stop and evaluate where u stand... if u r nowhere and u r a guy, then let me give u a hint

park your car in a parking lot... lock your car... run your finger through your hair, just so u look smart... stand by your car and wait... when u saw a car approaching... jump out.... and die

i'm very sure the world and everyone else is tired seeing u wasting your life..

call it bias as it really apply only on guys... i expect more from u guys~~

yeah, all those expectation eh

expectation bring u somewhere... remember that
motivavtion bring u somewhere too
as well as inspiration

laziness and being dumb bring u nowhere..... drudgery.. oh yeah, thats what it is...

maclaser

2010-09-20T18:36:00.002+08:00

thats 8 maclaser and 8 ipl.... half way sold... lol

nevertheless... eat that~!!

and i kill a total of 10 lasers in this exhibition... now, again.... eat that~!!

as said... u can kick, yell at me but when i stand up... i'm gonna make u pay...

i am happy :)

at least for today... :)

lets fly

2010-09-20T08:38:00.002+08:00

last day of exhibition....

not far from target, i know i can do it....

i can do it.... lets do it..

go go go

people are complicated in this world... lots of types of people... like really a lot...

but deng tit lei...

superman are meant to fly......

so to all superman and superwoman outside

let's fly~!!!

genting

2010-09-20T01:46:00.002+08:00

i wanted to talk to her.. like a lot.. just to see if everything is ok

but hell seriously... who am i?? lol...

no.. i'm not the type of "friend" that will msg ppl goodnight if someone is attach... then lie saying got gf la... saying got friend la

if want to chase then be straight up... they call this low blow... act so lowly..

anyway, in position... just have a feeling nothing is alright or maybe i think too much.. maybe i am... my friend keep telling me i think too much

i went to this foot reflex today.... the sifu told me... an old friend of mine visited them last week

i keep quiet for a while.... i just ask if she came alone... they answer yes

i keep quiet for a while again....

for a moment there i wanted to give her a call.... just to ask how is she... but i hold myself back

and i remind myself how she already move on....

lol

call me weak for being stagnant but come on.... its only this period of time

give me some time...

i drove up to genting alone few days ago... in the middle of the night... wee hour

this is where is all started

i take a small breath and leave that place... lol

sound so stupid so go there just for a while.... that place means a lot to me though... like really a lot.... a lot of things happen there

goodnighe everyone

kick ass

2010-09-20T01:24:00.001+08:00

really a dumbass...

and i hate to link to the stupid world... i really hate that

but feeling like a dumbass...

crap

no way i should feel so.. so going to repay by kicking some ass tom

oh yea

2010-09-20T00:31:00.002+08:00

i'm drop dead tired... like seriously drop dead tired

though both mentally and physically from the exhibition.... i am glad with the turn out... though still a few walk away but at least we r again getting close to our target...

went to this gala dinner on friday night... had a blast and when i say had a blast... not only did i meet a few new friends... i really had my fun...

i talk to a lot of people during the gala and i learn so much through talking to them... though nothing much but i get to talk to chui ling and also taking pictures with her... i am particular impress with the way she thinks... an individual that were born to be successful...

she mention that life is worth living if u r living nice, comfortable and rich... though being happy is very very important but u will enjoy life more when u r really living it...

i don't really understand her statement until i start to observe and also talk to other people and i find that successful people lead an awesome life.... no, they r not as empty as what it portrait in the movies... again, its movies....

they really enjoy their life...

and true enough, when a person if successful, many things will come with it...

by talking and mixing with this people, i'm very certain... i don just want to live my life... i really want to live and enjoy it... i don need to be super rich to do so but i need to be really good in my field

as exhibition went by, i was like.. "look at this empro guy... this guy's life though have its stress but he really know how to enjoy his life.. respected in his field, earning good money, media likes his, have a goof family, and is really enjoying it..."

i went to my friend's wedding dinner yesterday and saw someone...

heartache?? u bet but i try to be strong.. :)

from that night i again refresh my vow that i will do my very very best to be successful... i'm very sure she has her was and her decision is right... even if i need to burn the roof down, i will make sure i will work so hard that i will give my future wife more than what someone will give her

call it naive or childish but lets make this a challenge to better myself... i'm very sure that someone got this special factor... or winning factor.. i don know what but hell, in regards... i will do better... at least for this moment i will take htis as a motivation

a part timer of mine just resign yesterday after just 2 days of work... let me share with u this story

he sign up to work for 4 days... not 2 days..

in regards of how hard the job is or how out of field the work is... u never give up in the middle.. thats rule number 1... rule number 2, no matter how hard or tough the situation is... u always give your damn best

thats 100% bitch

speaking of determination i don think when it comes to determination i am weak... i considered myself to be a very determine guy who stick something till the very end... that i will bite the bullet and make sure i get the job done....

i take this phrase again as my motivation

u can kick, tease or even yell at me but when i stand up... i'm so going to kick your ass.... period

love will be tested by time and in time we learn to be strong as well as understanding the word compromise... we also learn the word of not giving up

i say this once and i'm going to say this again

sunshine or no sunshine
rain or no rain

i will fly and god... give me the strength to do this... i know i am weak and have been weak... but here i kneel in front of u, give me the strength to do this

i am jest and i know i can do better than all this... don look down on me... wait for me on top.. i will get there very very soon

by the way... some jackass...

please watch your mouth when u r trying to look down on me... talk to me when u have something... don just run your mouth when u have nothing to show.. piece of shit...

its all in one

2010-09-17T09:37:00.002+08:00

losing sense of control
when thoughts are taking its toll
and mind breaking the spirit of soul
faith were tested by walking through broken glass
hanging on thousand past
nothing seems build to last
when its time to live and let die
and u cant get another try
something inside this heart has died

lets go for the exhibition

tom exhibition

2010-09-17T01:00:00.002+08:00

tom will be a battlezone... which not sure if i can attend.. something happen to my red riding hood that i need to attend to... crap

anyway went to watch this avatar 3d the other night... its silly to be honest, lol... i watched it before and to spend another 18 bucks on it is definetely crazy but i really want to experience this avatar in 3d... to c what is it all about...

and i went to zouk after that... its a quiet night but hell... people are treating so i just tag along to know more people... and i stumble upon this table full of rich people... driving ferari those type of people if u know what i'm referring to...

i just look and think

not that if u have money u can simply waste it on ferrari or just keep opening bottles of liquor... seriously... apart from all this glamour life... this people r filty rich...

my friend then talked to me afterward stating its seriously pointless to be rich

i was amazed... lol

pointless?? come on... r u serious?? if u can't make that money, please don condemn that it's pointless to be rich....

she continue to asked if i wanted to have this kind of party lifestyle everynight... to be pefectly honest, i don think rich people party everynight... beside though i don really like to have that kind of lifestyle... i really wanted to be that rich

why would i say so

money play a very very important role in our life in this society

as much as we hated it... its that important

some would say they prefer to have a loving husband

i always reply this.... a loving husband is not an option but a mandatory... a rich and loving husband... the rich part... now that is an option

its whather u want a rich and loving or a poor and loving husband

rich and not loving husband... that is not even debatable

call me money minded but looking at my previous relationship girl's family lifestyle... i knew and understand how important money is

not saying that they live a glamourous life.... but if both husband and wife pull in a salary of just 15k every month... it's seriously peanuts... thats just a normal life here in KL..

one LV would burn a hole.... a trip shopping trip to UK would have burn a few months salary...

i don need have a ferrari but i definetely want to have a lavish lifestyle... giving my wife worry free on the financial part...

i don think i have that ability at this moment but i am working really really hard to reach that... i knew many would want to have that lifestlye but how many seriously put their thoughts and work into it

a friend of mine told me she wanted to get married in 2 years time and that her ultimate goal is to help her husband as much as possible.. i don know how close is she with that goal.. i hope she is on track...

anyway my point is this... loving is mandatory but rich or ability to earn money is an option... many would have mix this loving as an option while thinking rich people r never loving...

have u meet with datuk lim from ho wah genting or datuk ramli from ingress auto or the infamous mr chiew from cellnique, this r the few rich people who love their wife a lot.... from talking to them i learn that though money is not everything... its seriously important to a family

one once said... why bother married a guy if she will need to work twice as hard as she is now... i couldn't agree more... just because he is loving?? oh please

as i was driving today... i saw two of my friends sitting at burger kind.. so i join them to have htis small chit chat... seriously both act and talk like hot shot... if u don know them well.. u will be amaze with the way they talk and walk

one age at 29 while another s at 30

good looking and all

but like whats the point

one is driving company car but with only a stupid apartment to his name... while another driving this waja and got no house

ok benefit of doubt again that they have their own problem or burden.. or whatever crap

get yourself off that crap then!!! work twice as hard... use your brain twice as much... get yourself out from this shit hole if u know u r in it...

stop saying it's hard or that u have this commitment or that pressure...

don just talk or dream.. act on it...

life is about getting better not being stagnant or backward

if u got nothing to show before u reach age 30... u have a serious problem there pal.

i don have alot and i already 26.... crap... i have only like few more years to go before i hit 30

and let my goals be that before i hit 30 i would have finish with my studies and that my company finally take off and that i have few properties under my name

finger cross...

really.... i hope it works out well for me.... its tough shit.... but i knew i can do it.... i'm not the smartest around here but i definetely can outwork anyone out there

if there's one thing that my previous relationship have taught me is that

either die trying or die rich

u can yell or scold at me but when i stand up... i'm gonna kick ass and thats what i'm gonna do tom.... bring it on

i am jest

2010-09-14T09:20:00.002+08:00

i seriously know a lot of things do don't really need to tell me that

just that i kinda in this losing myself period whereby i lack of motivation and is just stuck in this dump

i should add oil and know what to do...

i'm just in this period and should or would be ok

i just need some time off for myself...

saw a few good friend yesterday.. we chat for a while.... i feel happy that despite it all they still support me and encourage me....

to be honest it really does not sound as bad as i said... just that this incident kinda give me 1 hard blow....

but i'll be alright.....

i am jest ah... :)

The Script - The Man Who Can't Be Moved

2010-09-14T02:10:00.000+08:00

thanks

2010-09-13T22:53:00.000+08:00

my friend told me to be strong and once decision is made... just move forward

thanks friends.......

smile

2010-09-13T02:39:00.002+08:00

i hate this so much i no longer have anything i wanted to vent...

actually i just hate how weak i am.... i could have been stronger... i know, i know...

all is just part of life and part of living.... its ok and its alright...

truth at times r hard to accept but i know... i should have handle it in a better manner..

nobody would have wish they go through shit and crap....

but sometimes when life make a small turn.. ops there we r, stepping into that shit... once in a while

to be honest i really miss a lot of things about her but i know i should put up a brave face to it...

and i know i can do better...

just focus on completing my studies...

i know many r probably laughing this shit off.. seriously i would think so

but to be honest who never got their heart broken or be in a position whereby u felt helpless... knowing all too well u have no option but to be strong...

i know many said it's seriously only a girl and i shouldn't have put much energy into it

i know, just the fact she had been important... many don realize it of course

lol

anyway.... goodnight all...

god who has been kind to her for smilling down on her.. please smile on me too..

smile and the world will smile back

smart tag

2010-09-12T23:22:00.000+08:00

finally got my smart tag.. :D

i'm happy...

words to lord

2010-09-11T18:25:00.002+08:00

please lord, give me the strength to go through this... give me the strength to haul this through and better myself

i need the strength to be strong both mentally and physically...

love make us blind
but can't u hear sincerity when i talk
why would u want to give my world a halt
blame it on me and i don mind taking the fault
it's like an open wound dip into sea of salt
u mean just too much
is words that come straight from the heart
but how we fail to play our part
superman and krypton knight
its all worth the fight
so long as the wrong feels right
what dark knight
what white knight
its like a sun without heat and light
love just blinded our sight
no, only me
i let it be
something which i fail to see
how can i see there a problem in we
now that we spend time apart, it never seems like i'm free
who is there reaching out for me
lord, where are thee
holding hand, i told u how beautiful you were
and how at times i wish u were here
i try to have a sense of humour
but everything seems just as gloomer
hate to admit its already a goner
we need to flip this life card ourself and expect no help
its just something we need to dwell
i always dream of being that cool kid
but end up looking stupid
is there something i dont know
something u dont want to show
is there something i didn't find
or maybe i'm just blind
u make me lost my mind
i never leave u behind
by why u leave me back in the dark
crushing my heart
and pull me apart
u look me in the eye an spoke an honest speech
and now u expect me to cry for a bitch
or a witch
i dont know which is which
i know its hard crawling out from this ditch
to me, u say u will give me a hand for me to reach
but did u practice what u preach?
theres so much darkness in the world
but i see beauty in you girl
your love is all i need in this life
and its all i need till the end of time
i thought u will always be mine
i want to play cool on losing you
pieces of me is still not yet fix
i feel so down
knowing u no longer be around
stand by me lord
giving me the strength i need
grind me if u need
kick me down hard if u need
but bless me the strength
i promise i will bite this bullet through

i will make it

2010-09-11T16:00:00.003+08:00

the song by nelly called just a dream caught my ear earlier this morning...

it brings a lot of memories to me... but i know its ok...

was extremely tired from the trip.... what actually makes it feel worthwhile is when i visited the tag heuer watch shop... oh wow... i have been thinking of getting a watch for myself for quite a while... this is the very first time i'm being serious with it... i walked in... talk about the price, learn about the watch and basically just about anything about it....

the price for the watch is pretty high end... however i really want to reward myself... lol, yea an excuse for getting myself that watch... a friend asked me why cant i just get a normal swatch or mickey mouse watch... the price is much lower... to be honest i don deny and furthermore its not like i'm a millionaire or something... but why not just get something i really like if financially allowed....

u don need to be a millionaire to do so

u c, i'm not really a stingy person but its just that when my company started, financially i'm tight... some individual however would presume i'm stuck like this forever... well, of course i cant stop them for thinking that way... it was that bad but i c things picking up... :)

and i keep telling myself that i should really work to better myself....

sometimes walking away is hard but why stay at a place when u knew the other party already change her heart since like the dinasour time... its long gone...

i wanted to look for her so much earlier today... just to c and ask how is she doing... then i told myself this

"stop being silly and stupid, of course she is doing great... i am nobody just concern about her, think about ownself better..."

sometmes there r lots of beautiful things in this world where u wanted to share with that special someone... she dash it all off.....

again i hope her other half can do that job n let her c those beautiful things... wait a minute, thats not even a problem.... i'm sure he can do a much better job than me

a friend told me.... at least i had my good times with her...

funny words... those r words trying to console ownself... i should accept i did a bad job and should improve on that and not thinking "oh we had our good times"

screw that shit

i will make it.... i will.....

not a dream but a statement

i will make it

and those that will make it... my blessings to u...

only to some audit donkey, good luck trying to be a success ya...

Nelly - Just A Dream

2010-09-11T15:52:00.000+08:00

milo

2010-09-10T11:12:00.002+08:00

i hate going to site and being sleepy when its raining....

by the way.... thanks milly for that warm milo... :D

swollen eye... now that is some funny shit eh.. lol

alive??

2010-09-10T04:54:00.002+08:00

and its like 5 in the morning.....

and the images just keep broadcasting...

seriously... this is not easy...

its killing me if not eatiing me alive

hope i got energy for the tom's research... crap

Jay Chou - Fragrance Of Rice (Dao Xiang) Sub'd

2010-09-10T04:22:00.000+08:00

Jay Chou - Tui Hou

2010-09-10T04:20:00.000+08:00

buy it again

2010-09-10T02:34:00.003+08:00

no wonder when asked why wont even come out on august 4 la

is some retardo's big day.... seriously

when asked don even dare to answer... just keep quiet and say some other excuse

oh crap.... i buy it again....

ing

2010-09-10T00:52:00.002+08:00

some laugh at half of the joke i crack
unfortunately i am a comedian
decided to hide behind the tears of a clown
so why don't u all sit down
and listen to the tale i'm about to tell
we don't need to trade our shoes
and u don't need to walk no thousand miles
we can go inside each other mind
and see what we can find
but don't let others say u r not beautiful or great
we can stay true to ourself
world is cruel and mean
took the bruises
enough being slump
pick ownself out from the dump
don't just sit and weep on that sorrow
trying to avoid eye-contact
should we do that
this seems so bad
this all seems so sad
sometimes life can bring pain
but its just to keep us insane
but as said, keep the sunshine and save me the rain
there is this small thing
that i have been working and trying
trying to leap off but is helpless with a broken wing
trying to be strong or just a fact i'm hiding
not trying to be weak or anything
i'm just a human being
superman or not, u had mean just that much to me, ms P

deng tit lei

2010-09-09T20:05:00.002+08:00

deng tit lei......

everything can be solve with a clear mind...

started the whole JB journey today and i can tell u how bad the day is....

a friend told me this which really motivates me.. it goes like this

the jest i know goes something like this "u can scold and u can talk, but when i stand up u're going to pay more"

u c, u r in the end dealing with jest.... and to top that... i should kick ass and not let my ass be kicked...

sometimes we tend to get weak, forging a net of guilt on top of ourself and laying ourself in this bed of negativity

it's logical to be strong but sometimes even superman would want to take a break

speaking of this.. i used to be one girl's superman... and u know even superman got yelled at till he cries.. lol

u c, each individual have their weak point... its ok... but don't get down for too long... dont rest too long.. or else life will come in and kick your teeth out and break u down...

life is this bad....

knowing this, god always tend to bless his children, thats u and me mind u, the strength to walk through it... its down to us to acknowledge such blessing and grind through it

along the way or walk of life... friends will come and pick us up... encouraging us too... while some have the wife/husband or family... if u have it all... u r damn sure lucky

i always have this lovely smile to bring me through, when the smile is gone, god always bless me with friends to go through the hardship

i said before that in this world there's one beauty which is very very dangerous and that is the beautiful smile of a lady

hemm...... deng tit lei

i got a challenge from a friend... telling me to go and talk or c P... daring me to c how strong i can be or have became...

u c, i hate to be challenge and would accept any form of challenge anytime but no, not this... i am desperately weak in front of her.... i dont need to show how strong i am for i knew, i cant even do this... at this moment

i will however kick your ass anytime on anything.... ok fine, i knew there r something which i might not be excellent at but i am a stronger challenger

:)

finishing up my journals and report for tom... seriously, i cant wait to grad from this PHD

:D

i really want to have a sense of achievement in my life and though its really really nothing special , i knew i had tried to achieve at least something...

seriously, not like stuck as an audit in a small firm and only have a ACCA to show... lol~~ or just driving this crappy old car... ok ok, maybe there's this burden la or whatever story.. i don't know... maybe u have your struggle la... giving u benefit of doubt..

i beleive that we should constantly improve ourself and not put ourself in the comfort zone too much... its through hot water that we will thrive and be successful...

it's a struggle in the beginning but who told u its always easy.... we will be demotivated and feel helpless but what doesn't kill us will make us grow stronger....

yes it matters how we end what doesn't matter is how slow we start... so long as u can finish the race and finish it with such awesome feat... then my friend, u have an achievement u can be proud of...

not just life but both life and career... not just career too.. but both life and career...

both of them sucks to me.. lol but i know... despite the hurdle... i will finish this race strong...

and i know, so can u too

deng tit lei... :)

break free

2010-09-09T19:49:00.002+08:00

u still leave in the end
told myself not to cry
told by others not to feel sad
i order a cup of tea and add in some milk at our favourite spot
i order 1 cup more just in case u showed up
we have promise each other we'll had breakfast together till we got old
the tea is getting cold
together too with my heart
feel so sad that i did not get to say my last goodbye
feel regretful that i did not get my last hug
feel dissapointed that it did not end with a smile on our smile
its like i'm trap in this maze
struggling to break free
missing the scent from her hair
it's like i'm trap in my own feelings
hard to break free
it can be beautiful and not this complicated

Nicholas Tse [谢霆锋-如果没有感觉] MV

2010-09-09T19:47:00.000+08:00

night

2010-09-09T02:55:00.002+08:00

receive an email stating i'm qualify to immigrate to canada...

i'm so so so happy.... however i think i would hold on to this for a while.. i'm just really having fun working in KL for the moment and would want to keep it that way for a while....

path seems to set itself.. sometimes there r things u cant rush or push... it'll fix itself...

god always have plan for us

i know how much i have cried and be sad about.... rather than take the pain away, bless me with the strength to go through this

night all...

off to johor

2010-09-09T02:25:00.002+08:00

off to Johor....

for studies and work i will strive and work harder.....

i might not be the smartest around but i definetely will put in the work to justify my position

:)