november 11

cant sleep, though sleepy

for a moment, i finally feel my hardwork is finally paying off... though the fruit is still very raw but i am very very satisfied with its current growth... I for once have grown a lot during this hardship... and especially proud that i have make it this far...

many would have their fair share of say, i know

however i'm glad i no longer need to walk that hardship anymore

many challenges still lies ahead... its ok, one great leader once say "if u came out alive on the whatever challenges that is thrown, you already win"

I am especially proud of myself

still some distance but i make that 1 million from pure sweat and hardwork...

as i look back throughout the years, i have seen my growth, financially, emotionally and the way i handle certain aspect

i have also grown respect on certain individual

in god i trust

seizing opportunity is one thing, building result out of it is another

jumping out of comfort zone is definetely the hard part into a drowning zone, jumping out from the drowning zone is even tougher, seeing how many ppl fail and die there... i knew, i merely make it out

status means nothing if its not earn, same as respect

but who am i to say anything as i have yet to earn mine

every individual play their part.... this i knew

respect is not earned by how many money u earned but by what legacy you have build

though some politician are dirty, however many were not known on what they have sacrifice to be where they are

i however at this junction of my life lack the respect on those spoil second-generation which i would put it under those who born since 1978.

These spoiled child have no clue what life holds, picturing how perfect the world is

am i the only one that is annoy by this??

seriously, i can handle as many hardship that can be thrown at me...

its just handling women's emotion puzzle me

but its ok.. this is the exiciting part of life... balancing it all out

i just want to yell "I HAVE CRAWL OUT OF THE DROWNING ZONE~!!"

:)

and i did it all without my parents help.... financially and also emotionally

wife and god did the magic

credit to them

not friend

-n-

:( yupe

forget about what prp, forget about what viva

i cant even bring myself to the mirror...

i'm reliefing myself off duty for a while....

not that i need a rest buti just cant bring myself to do anything at the moment

burning a heaven doesn't always bring u another heaven

:(

retardo

i think i speak for all non-muslim in this country that malaysia is a bias yet racist country

it's not entirely fair.... and the living expenses is high....

seriously... like whats the whole good point staying in malaysia, i don have much clue

lets not compare it with other third world country

but then come to think about it... malaysia is kinda third world... isn't it??

somehow... staying in singapore or thailand seems much better... to say the least

china is another crappy country

to get fairness, u got to go to western thinking countries.... english speaking to make it short

i shake my head in despair understanding how stupid malaysia is and despite its potential.... it's turning to be a laughing stock

a person spoke to me.... why hate BN when they make good decisions and didn't actually do anything bad

seriosuly?? it's changes that some would like to c

and i do believe in giving chances

lets c what opposition can do if given a chance

USD weaken

Speech by Dr. Harald, economic prof for Yale University stats that the weakening of USD will cause Outside investor to invest in its property, since the property bubble burst, US economy has taken a back seat.

Thats take number 1.

Take number is to increase investment in the US while trying to push export from the US which is gold, silver, and metal.

I can forsee a further drop, however don't expect it to drop past 2.8 when peg against RM

work

more work to be done..... work ah...... work ah....... work ah.......

dumb ass

sometimes its not all about pride or having that agony feeling but more of the moral value... if u don stand for something, u dont stand on anything and i hate having to keep working hard but unable to harvest any fruit... its easy for ppl to say when the one working hard is not the person themself... i don want to live that really hard poor life anymore... it's really really really tough interesting enough, not many ppl walked that life thus they don't really understand the word tough.... and just like to act like they r the king of the world like steve job say "u lead your own life and your path its way"

peacing

have not been blogging for a while.. as u have guessed... i have been really busy with work and studies....

finger cross... i will be relief next year as i don have to be busy with school work anymore... if i graduated

i'm seriously quite over with school... yeah, thats it... no more school for me once i graduated..

was reading some blog over the weekend and was surprise... how come there's still people who have no graduated from a degree yet

i mean... he's already 27

if u r taking soem proffesional course... that i probably would have understand... but 27 still studying a degree?? u got to be kidding me

26 already a killer...

how long do ppl need to study before they get this degree

probably there's some family issue or whatever... i don't know

he seems ok to me... as happenign as ever and even likes blogging... like.. can't u just for once be serious about your life and just finish what u have started??

i view it as quite a failure if u were to asked me...

but u c... life is hard.... getting out of this rat race is quite fun but hard... i don c any way out... its like we're stuck in this stupid rat race.... running in circles

i overheard someone wantd to start a part time business doing this bird next thing... he is an auditor by the way.... i wonder where will he find the time to juggle between auditing and also selling bird nest....

my opinion, only business earn money... how much u earn with how much effort u put in depends on how well u run it

few things i think are over hype

1) properties - someone told me, involve in the property business is the best industry one can indulge in. why is it that everyone think being a property agent earns hell lots of money. thats decent money but not hell lot.

u c, why would i say so... developer earns a lot... property owner earns a lot...

this is how i look at it... if today individual A fork out energy worth of RM2 and get paid RM4, thats bad news, if he get paid somewhat around RM12-20. Thats decent good money. And if one day individual A decided to stop working and still get paid in the region of RM5-RM8. Thats good money

i don think property agent can get any money if they stop working.

2)insurance agent - oh please. at this generation if u r young. dont go day dream. do something else...

3)stock market - if u put in the same amount of effort into working something else... u probably get more or less the same return

4) Multi-level marketing - seriously??

i agree with high risk- high return. i do, but while doing something risky, make sure u r damn good at it

for example, u asked a football player to take a penalty kick and not a golfer. U don't asked a princess to trim the lawn.

if u r not good at something while opt for the low risk - low return thing...

my point of view... u better save your money for something else

y??

life is funny... something opportunities pass by and unless u grab it... it'll gone... at times u cant grab it because u're lack in terms of money

my second take... u will at times c young people driving an awesome nice car with a branded watch... and maybe there's inside of u came this whisper "have to work like dog to get this, not worth" or "must be parents buy la" or "dont know do what dirty job to get it"

point is, we work to live a nice living, which include enjoying our life, living nice house and driving nice car. thats enjoyment

if work so hard also cannot enjoy it then work for what

who cares if u have to work really hard to get those material stuff... at least that person is working

till then... continue my assignment..

peace out

damn

there's a few thing that really drives me up the wall...

1) when things i did or do was not well appreciated... u know this seriously makes me go nuts and crazy and i hate this thing... i really do, cause it makes me feel stupid doing it and i hate feeling stupid....

2) when stupid ppl tends to do stupid things.... but still pretend they are smart... oh damn... please wake up.... first thing first, u r stupid that's why u do stupid stuff but rathet than acknowledging that u r stupid.... u act smart...

i cant take this type od human being

i give an example....

A decided to leave job 1 for job 2 B believing 2 holds good future but after 3 months, A find out that job 2 does not hold the future... but instead or rather than changing or find an alternative... A just stick with it, and look see..

like what the hell, thats number one... secondly... r u stupid??

some r even more interesting... always speak of money not enough or work is too much... but rather than doing something about it... they stick with it

maybe u know what u r doing but hell... u seems lost to me

that really bothers me

and the appreciation thing.......... so,etimes i feel like smashing its head on the wall when i felt not appreciated....

damn

yeah

damn

lame

stupid Ass...... seriously....... thats some lame stupid stupid ass.......

flowers

and everybody says thank you for receiving that flowers........

thats too sweet

The Fray How to save a life (acoustic)

Teenage Dream - Katy Perry (Boyce Avenue piano acoustic cover)

quote

it doesnt matter how much is the ring... the worth is not on the price n value of d diamond cause it's not for sale, it is not a trade too... but the value is on the person who gives it, and the person who receives it ... their love n trust n bond ...

Apologize (Studio Recording) - Kris Allen [DOWNLOAD]

我愛他-丁噹 full version with lyrics

i'm your play-thing

Lil Wayne - Drop The World ft. Eminem

quote

*The woman came out of a man's rib; Not from his feet to be walked on; Not from his head to be superior, but from his side to be equal; Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved

nice quote for women

thoughts

very sure finger will point it ways to me again...

anyway... poke anyway u want...

god once said.... he never let his child down or leave his child alone...

again.. i knew i had made enemies more than friends but i believe saying own true thoughts is always better than saying the other way...

idiot

some idiot post how he got gamer of the year and thanks for those that support him...

he is serious about it..

he seems serious about it....

well at least he is serious about something...

i heard of something serious...

that seem serious too...

by the way... why is that guy even so happy to be voted as gamer of the year... i understand if it's young proffesional of the year

gamer of the year??

this is one funny generation

nevertheless if he can still put food on the table... that should be fine.. i'm sure his son will be proud of his gamer of the year award thing...

my advise

just don go fight over that playstation with your children next time... and yeah... don get too indulge with it until u forget about your family eh...

no wonder it took u 7 years to graduate and another 18 months to find yourself a job... u r too indulge into this gaming thing, man... seriously

remembering?

quote

how many actually knew or realize that quote... some actually would let emotion get through their head than actually acknowledge it...

words

january 23 (ii)

divorce is anti-climatic by O'Maolchaithaigh

Calling me a cheap, stingy bastard wounded it
telling me I was planning to leave cut deeper
calling me a liar was nearly fatal
saying we should go our separate ways stopped its heart

I was willing to try resuscitation through counseling
your refusal staked it through its heart
asking for a quit-claim to the house put it in a coffin
telling me I had to leave nailed the coffin shut
threatening to call the police if I didn’t move out -
buried the marriage deep in the ground.

Divorce is anti-climactic.

january 23

torture of my soul

Forgive me as my soul does have
A melancholy tone,
But this bitter world
Gets even darker
When you’re forced to cry alone—
And I can only walk through life
On a distant, wayward road…
And hope someone will understand
The footsteps of my soul.

I travel down a darkened path
Of a tear’s old weary street
And see my peace as broken glass,
As fear with stomping feet
Begins to make a dreadful noise
As sorrow beats its drums—
The haunting voice of trembling doubt
Slowly begins to hum…
slowly
slowly
Taunting me
With cruelty so cold
slowly
slowly
Playing still—
The rhythm of my soul…

The shadows with a stubborn stench
Of grave like fumes of pain
Hold the burn of heartache’s poison
And pierce me with their fangs.
My veins are heavy with the flow,
My plea is, “HELP ME PLEASE!”
I cannot bear the agony
So I fall down on my knees.
I scream the sound of misery
For that’s the story
That has been told,
And so the title has been written—
“The Torture of My Soul.”


The story’s told within my eyes,
The tune is in my voice—
My lips, they long to form a smile
My heart wants to rejoice
But the jury
Of vengeful
Sorrow’s court
Says I’m GUILTY in this life!
Therefore,
The judge
Of misery’s seed
Says I’ll have NO LIGHT!

Weeping is the melody
Of a damaged soul like mine;
A battered tune of scattered notes;
The ticking of lost time…
All chiming in to play my song
To tell me of my woes…
To say that I’m a tortured soul
With nothing left to show.

But they don’t know.

And so…

In the fog of disappointment
In the traps set by shame
In the woods of misfortune
Through the graveyard of pain,
Past the thorns of mistakes
Beyond the fire of my dread
Somewhere there is light,
So I’ll march on ahead,

As I’m tortured
And I’m weary,
I’m damaged,
And I’m battered,
My soul may be torn,
My peace may be shattered,
My burdens may be heavy
And I…
I’ll have to crawl
But I’ll get there…to the light.

I’ll make it through it all.

broken teapot

words of wisdom

i really like this song... but i cant find it anywhere... it's called "zhi li ming yan" original written by you hong ming, which was sang by sammi cheng

she says,

after goodbye still can meet a better person,
it's cold, bitter and silent here
he nod and let it go

he says,

after let go, each can fly alone
giving her back her previous own world
should each be touched by this?

i let the conclusion be the judgement... sometimes each do not know what each has to risk until its there

a wind suddenly blew by, that seems to take each breath out
leaving but a traces of loneliness

a quoted stated...

in a relationship, its important that two person share the same dream... and that they should felt respected and love.... nothing more or less

words of wisdom

keeping it short

i am keeping this short

to tell ownself.. "that i will work really hard, despite many obstacles in front, i should climb over.. its a cold and cruel world outside... and at times we make enemies more than friends... but seriously... stay strong~!!! like real strong...."

陳冠希 Edison Chen - I Never Told You

r

Nokia C7 as remote control for BMW car

may 11

mark it on your calender...

just finish some of my thesis... which will be defended this coming september... draft to be submitted this coming july... now.. thats some pressure... i never really defended any thesis before and this definetely will be some challenge...

can we go by not knowing what we are doing?? its seriously not as easy as u thought it is...

CNY is around the corner but what i'm more excited about is that durian seems to be around again.. oh that awesome fruit... i'm happy

i always believe man or woman should always upgrade themselves at any given time...

upgrading in sense of knowledge, material wise, status, monetary... just about anything.. we should upgrade ourself

how are u planning to upgrade yourself this year?? leave those resolution alone.. nobody gonna really do it...

2011 will be massive for me.. i c much changes happening this year....

no more sweating for exam after 2011... oh lol.. y all the PHD if i sweat for it... i truly enjoy the process after all

:)

i want to get myself a watch... badly... and not just some watch.... i want to get a watch that i really really like... again.. keeping my finger cross for that

oh yeah.. had a nice crab earlier.. havent had a crab for sometime...

oh lol.. yeah check this out

i was checking this guys' pic from fb... lol... it makes me laugh... whats up with this guy age 27 putting this stupid V sign.... seriously... i really hate when i c guys putting that stupid finger up... cant they just take picture like normal being?? cant they just smile??.... and of course... the worst of all... guys that acted cute when taking pictures... man!! stop it.. it's disgusting.. u r 27 and not 17.. even if u're 17... u should not do so too... it looks gay and it looks stupid

well thats my opinion... i'm keeping my thoughts with me.. don tell me it's wrong...

so keep upgrading there... its always nice seems ppl getting best of their life and enjoy it... at the same time seeing them getting better and better

i c ppl changing cars... getting new watch... getting a home... getting married... getting that branded things... travelling around the world...

well... keep up the work... don fall back behind..

u know goverment r ripping us chinese off... not to say i'm racist but come on... am i the only one thinking this 1 malaysia is a stupid hoax??

there's no 1 malaysia... there's probably 1 bumiputera... no, no.. let me rephrase... there's 1 politics.... yeah, politician or ppl involve in it r the one that gain the upper hand whereby the working class is the one that got rip off

with prices inflatting at an all time high... i c many families start to suffer... so upgrading ownself eventually becoming an issue...

yeah.. true that more ppl r graduating with degrees.. some masters... and bunch lots of phds...

but i also c much more dropout... dropouts who don really have much motivation in life...

i'm 27 this year...

many ppl share the same age as me...

and i'm still stuck in this rat race...

i vow to get out ASAP

damn it

while many i saw checking into zouk or partying away in the weekend.. while others r sleeping now

me?? this is crap... finishing phd work.... damn it~!!! i want to sleep and it's already 4am

cam cam

its getting stupid when someone is over 26 and still take self potrait acting cute...

be it a guy or a gurl... it looks stupid....

if its a guy... oh seriously... u should be shoot in the head...

and believe when i say i saw a 30 year old girl though don really look 30.. anyway.. still cam-whore and acting shitless cute... i just cant stand this ppl

worst.. they r not even celeb

yeah.. celeb in their own world

up up and down down

up up, down down

yeah... thats how roller coaster r... some enjoy while some hate it

i don mind the up and down but the twist turn, turn and turn that i hate most... like seriously, whats with the turning... pay to get dizzy and resulting in throwing up??

lets talk of something else

on personal note... i have been tired.. reading past entries.. it always stated that i'm tired.. have i ever been energetic.. oh lol

i don want to get too personal... just at times... craziness drive me really tired

on school work...

like seriously... i don get half of what i'm doing... PHD is seriously so not easy.... i don think it'll be easy but this is like serious Permanent Head Damage... it's crazier than u think it is...

on work...

the money is not enough and i'm working hard to increase that

on personal stand point...

self improvement is not gaining speed and i feel... i'm getting slower... which is not good... but i'm just tired of pulling my socks up...

let me share with u a story... interesting one

lady A and Boy B

Lady A requested she wants a, b, c and d. Boy B cant agree all but did however agree 2 of the above. the other 2 body B promise he will do his best.

Boy B turns to request. He request only a. Lady A rejects.

ok, maybe it's too much... boy B plans to request other..

at this point i want to say... basically it's pointless... lady A don really care what boy B thinks thus she rejects the first time... of the many times boy B request, it will be the same... the time when lady A agrees is when the request can be done easily by her.... it's not furfilling request then...

i'm very sure it happens to many men outside... going way out for lady A and being boy B

ok, up and running.. i just want to speak my mind out... heading out....

Schiller - Let me love you (Official Video)

fly

time for superman to fly....

there's a lot of dreamer out there... and they r not the only one

louis van gaal was told he cant be an artist because he have only 1 ear... he replied " i can't hear u"

fly as high as we can... and thats what we're born to do... to touch the sky

so lets fly

toast

oh.. report and more homework... this is tiring

question were pop and without much hesitation... it's been agreed... i'm more than happy

rather than lets c how it goes... enough of hiccups already and just clear the air

:)

again... i'm happy...

i want it to go well... lets hope all the arguing is done... no, seriously... sometimes argue r tiring...

saw a watch i really really like.... i'm dreading on getting my hands on it...

toast for myself at this moment... more toast coming.. :)