man of sorrow

they call this infamous painting as "the man of sorrow"

quoted from john 3:16

"god love his son so much that he gave his only son to die for human, and for those who beleive in jesus will have nothing but eternal life"

we need to be more than just strong in handling problems and also stress

its really down to us to bite the bullet through

nothing ever come easy... if it comes too easy... sometimes it really is too good to be true, blood and sweat need to be drawn before we set pace to a good life.. forget self-esteem.. nobody cares about your self esteem it is then u have achieve something that people will start to respect your self-esteem... however take pride in your work and of who u are... everybody is different but definetely serve a purpose to why we are here

worries

i have my worries and stress too...

expectation

fix my car... cost me a fortune.. crap

just as everything seems ok.. crap, another problem arise... crap

i got tired of fixing it... i went to test drive another car... awesome car... i really like that car a lot.. but damn is it expensive...

maybe i should just wait till next year...

for now i just want to get my watch... :)

only a week away before i start my PHD... but seriously, does it even matter?? i'm already start working on it.. wonder why they asked me to start on october when they already giving me tons of work to do...

it has been an awesome week for me.. in work i mean

seriously, don think that i am a toothless cat... i am probably feeling down and weak for the past few weeks to months but i can proudly say.. i'm actually a tiger

and this tiger already killed two customer, oh yea... its some serious shit killing too

lol

u know.. i got a better description

this friend of mine told me this

when P was here i was like a superman that can fly... but when she is not around i'm like a superman that cant fly...

i look like a superman that can fly now...

interesting analogy

was driving to have my lunch today... a horrible horrible chicken rice... while doing so, i parked my car just beside the restaurant... and in came this wira... oh yeah, wira again... i seriously began to hate this car.. anyway it has this music on really loud... with a ok looking guy walking out then.. acting like hot shot of course...

u c, the whole point of him pissing me off is... the parking space is suit for one car, why oh why would he park so close to my car forcing me having trouble getting out from my car??

retardo~!!

and the worst part is... he gave me this look as if he is some sort of hot shot

oh please~!! firstly, i find it really really paiseh to have music on really loud if u r driving any cars that is below 100k... yeah, its not even acceptable if its just some city or vios... it really look silly.. i can still accept if its civic

let alone a wira??

secondly... wtf with that stupid look?? u know... when u r driving some cheap car.. u don act glamourous... it dont tally

forget about his own problem or what burden... i care less...

u don act glamourous with that stupid car

i don think i'm any better now... but i'm sure my red riding hood is better than that wira of his... even so i don even dare to act glamourous

if somehow everything goes well.. hopefully i can change my car by the end of this year... yeah, though i know i just change my car

oh right... don condemn me if u r driving some cheap ass car...

i will continue to work really really hard to reach that pinacle

one should not be afraid to hit it hard... either u make it or u don't

one once said.... its always business that will earn u money and i couldn't agree more... but before u earn a business u need to learn how to sell... beside u don't just give up in the middle of something

seriously... one should not be demotivated so easily

as said... stop being sad but be great instead

laugh as u may... but stop being silly... focus on being great instead... stop and evaluate where u stand... if u r nowhere and u r a guy, then let me give u a hint

park your car in a parking lot... lock your car... run your finger through your hair, just so u look smart... stand by your car and wait... when u saw a car approaching... jump out.... and die

i'm very sure the world and everyone else is tired seeing u wasting your life..

call it bias as it really apply only on guys... i expect more from u guys~~

yeah, all those expectation eh

expectation bring u somewhere... remember that
motivavtion bring u somewhere too
as well as inspiration

laziness and being dumb bring u nowhere..... drudgery.. oh yeah, thats what it is...

maclaser

thats 8 maclaser and 8 ipl.... half way sold... lol

nevertheless... eat that~!!

and i kill a total of 10 lasers in this exhibition... now, again.... eat that~!!

as said... u can kick, yell at me but when i stand up... i'm gonna make u pay...

i am happy :)

at least for today... :)

lets fly

last day of exhibition....

not far from target, i know i can do it....

i can do it.... lets do it..

go go go

people are complicated in this world... lots of types of people... like really a lot...

but deng tit lei...

superman are meant to fly......

so to all superman and superwoman outside

let's fly~!!!

genting

i wanted to talk to her.. like a lot.. just to see if everything is ok

but hell seriously... who am i?? lol...

no.. i'm not the type of "friend" that will msg ppl goodnight if someone is attach... then lie saying got gf la... saying got friend la

if want to chase then be straight up... they call this low blow... act so lowly..

anyway, in position... just have a feeling nothing is alright or maybe i think too much.. maybe i am... my friend keep telling me i think too much

i went to this foot reflex today.... the sifu told me... an old friend of mine visited them last week

i keep quiet for a while.... i just ask if she came alone... they answer yes

i keep quiet for a while again....

for a moment there i wanted to give her a call.... just to ask how is she... but i hold myself back

and i remind myself how she already move on....

lol

call me weak for being stagnant but come on.... its only this period of time

give me some time...

i drove up to genting alone few days ago... in the middle of the night... wee hour

this is where is all started

i take a small breath and leave that place... lol

sound so stupid so go there just for a while.... that place means a lot to me though... like really a lot.... a lot of things happen there

goodnighe everyone

kick ass

really a dumbass...

and i hate to link to the stupid world... i really hate that

but feeling like a dumbass...

crap

no way i should feel so.. so going to repay by kicking some ass tom

oh yea

i'm drop dead tired... like seriously drop dead tired

though both mentally and physically from the exhibition.... i am glad with the turn out... though still a few walk away but at least we r again getting close to our target...

went to this gala dinner on friday night... had a blast and when i say had a blast... not only did i meet a few new friends... i really had my fun...

i talk to a lot of people during the gala and i learn so much through talking to them... though nothing much but i get to talk to chui ling and also taking pictures with her... i am particular impress with the way she thinks... an individual that were born to be successful...

she mention that life is worth living if u r living nice, comfortable and rich... though being happy is very very important but u will enjoy life more when u r really living it...

i don't really understand her statement until i start to observe and also talk to other people and i find that successful people lead an awesome life.... no, they r not as empty as what it portrait in the movies... again, its movies....

they really enjoy their life...

and true enough, when a person if successful, many things will come with it...

by talking and mixing with this people, i'm very certain... i don just want to live my life... i really want to live and enjoy it... i don need to be super rich to do so but i need to be really good in my field

as exhibition went by, i was like.. "look at this empro guy... this guy's life though have its stress but he really know how to enjoy his life.. respected in his field, earning good money, media likes his, have a goof family, and is really enjoying it..."

i went to my friend's wedding dinner yesterday and saw someone...

heartache?? u bet but i try to be strong.. :)

from that night i again refresh my vow that i will do my very very best to be successful... i'm very sure she has her was and her decision is right... even if i need to burn the roof down, i will make sure i will work so hard that i will give my future wife more than what someone will give her

call it naive or childish but lets make this a challenge to better myself... i'm very sure that someone got this special factor... or winning factor.. i don know what but hell, in regards... i will do better... at least for this moment i will take htis as a motivation

a part timer of mine just resign yesterday after just 2 days of work... let me share with u this story

he sign up to work for 4 days... not 2 days..

in regards of how hard the job is or how out of field the work is... u never give up in the middle.. thats rule number 1... rule number 2, no matter how hard or tough the situation is... u always give your damn best

thats 100% bitch

speaking of determination i don think when it comes to determination i am weak... i considered myself to be a very determine guy who stick something till the very end... that i will bite the bullet and make sure i get the job done....

i take this phrase again as my motivation

u can kick, tease or even yell at me but when i stand up... i'm so going to kick your ass.... period

love will be tested by time and in time we learn to be strong as well as understanding the word compromise... we also learn the word of not giving up

i say this once and i'm going to say this again

sunshine or no sunshine
rain or no rain

i will fly and god... give me the strength to do this... i know i am weak and have been weak... but here i kneel in front of u, give me the strength to do this

i am jest and i know i can do better than all this... don look down on me... wait for me on top.. i will get there very very soon

by the way... some jackass...

please watch your mouth when u r trying to look down on me... talk to me when u have something... don just run your mouth when u have nothing to show.. piece of shit...

its all in one

losing sense of control
when thoughts are taking its toll
and mind breaking the spirit of soul
faith were tested by walking through broken glass
hanging on thousand past
nothing seems build to last
when its time to live and let die
and u cant get another try
something inside this heart has died

lets go for the exhibition

tom exhibition

tom will be a battlezone... which not sure if i can attend.. something happen to my red riding hood that i need to attend to... crap

anyway went to watch this avatar 3d the other night... its silly to be honest, lol... i watched it before and to spend another 18 bucks on it is definetely crazy but i really want to experience this avatar in 3d... to c what is it all about...

and i went to zouk after that... its a quiet night but hell... people are treating so i just tag along to know more people... and i stumble upon this table full of rich people... driving ferari those type of people if u know what i'm referring to...

i just look and think

not that if u have money u can simply waste it on ferrari or just keep opening bottles of liquor... seriously... apart from all this glamour life... this people r filty rich...

my friend then talked to me afterward stating its seriously pointless to be rich

i was amazed... lol

pointless?? come on... r u serious?? if u can't make that money, please don condemn that it's pointless to be rich....

she continue to asked if i wanted to have this kind of party lifestyle everynight... to be pefectly honest, i don think rich people party everynight... beside though i don really like to have that kind of lifestyle... i really wanted to be that rich

why would i say so

money play a very very important role in our life in this society

as much as we hated it... its that important

some would say they prefer to have a loving husband

i always reply this.... a loving husband is not an option but a mandatory... a rich and loving husband... the rich part... now that is an option

its whather u want a rich and loving or a poor and loving husband

rich and not loving husband... that is not even debatable

call me money minded but looking at my previous relationship girl's family lifestyle... i knew and understand how important money is

not saying that they live a glamourous life.... but if both husband and wife pull in a salary of just 15k every month... it's seriously peanuts... thats just a normal life here in KL..

one LV would burn a hole.... a trip shopping trip to UK would have burn a few months salary...

i don need have a ferrari but i definetely want to have a lavish lifestyle... giving my wife worry free on the financial part...

i don think i have that ability at this moment but i am working really really hard to reach that... i knew many would want to have that lifestlye but how many seriously put their thoughts and work into it

a friend of mine told me she wanted to get married in 2 years time and that her ultimate goal is to help her husband as much as possible.. i don know how close is she with that goal.. i hope she is on track...

anyway my point is this... loving is mandatory but rich or ability to earn money is an option... many would have mix this loving as an option while thinking rich people r never loving...

have u meet with datuk lim from ho wah genting or datuk ramli from ingress auto or the infamous mr chiew from cellnique, this r the few rich people who love their wife a lot.... from talking to them i learn that though money is not everything... its seriously important to a family

one once said... why bother married a guy if she will need to work twice as hard as she is now... i couldn't agree more... just because he is loving?? oh please

as i was driving today... i saw two of my friends sitting at burger kind.. so i join them to have htis small chit chat... seriously both act and talk like hot shot... if u don know them well.. u will be amaze with the way they talk and walk

one age at 29 while another s at 30

good looking and all

but like whats the point

one is driving company car but with only a stupid apartment to his name... while another driving this waja and got no house

ok benefit of doubt again that they have their own problem or burden.. or whatever crap

get yourself off that crap then!!! work twice as hard... use your brain twice as much... get yourself out from this shit hole if u know u r in it...

stop saying it's hard or that u have this commitment or that pressure...

don just talk or dream.. act on it...

life is about getting better not being stagnant or backward

if u got nothing to show before u reach age 30... u have a serious problem there pal.

i don have alot and i already 26.... crap... i have only like few more years to go before i hit 30

and let my goals be that before i hit 30 i would have finish with my studies and that my company finally take off and that i have few properties under my name

finger cross...

really.... i hope it works out well for me.... its tough shit.... but i knew i can do it.... i'm not the smartest around here but i definetely can outwork anyone out there

if there's one thing that my previous relationship have taught me is that

either die trying or die rich

u can yell or scold at me but when i stand up... i'm gonna kick ass and thats what i'm gonna do tom.... bring it on

i am jest

i seriously know a lot of things do don't really need to tell me that

just that i kinda in this losing myself period whereby i lack of motivation and is just stuck in this dump

i should add oil and know what to do...

i'm just in this period and should or would be ok

i just need some time off for myself...

saw a few good friend yesterday.. we chat for a while.... i feel happy that despite it all they still support me and encourage me....

to be honest it really does not sound as bad as i said... just that this incident kinda give me 1 hard blow....

but i'll be alright.....

i am jest ah... :)

The Script - The Man Who Can't Be Moved

thanks

my friend told me to be strong and once decision is made... just move forward

thanks friends.......

smile

i hate this so much i no longer have anything i wanted to vent...

actually i just hate how weak i am.... i could have been stronger... i know, i know...

all is just part of life and part of living.... its ok and its alright...

truth at times r hard to accept but i know... i should have handle it in a better manner..

nobody would have wish they go through shit and crap....

but sometimes when life make a small turn.. ops there we r, stepping into that shit... once in a while

to be honest i really miss a lot of things about her but i know i should put up a brave face to it...

and i know i can do better...

just focus on completing my studies...

i know many r probably laughing this shit off.. seriously i would think so

but to be honest who never got their heart broken or be in a position whereby u felt helpless... knowing all too well u have no option but to be strong...

i know many said it's seriously only a girl and i shouldn't have put much energy into it

i know, just the fact she had been important... many don realize it of course

lol

anyway.... goodnight all...

god who has been kind to her for smilling down on her.. please smile on me too..

smile and the world will smile back

smart tag

finally got my smart tag.. :D

i'm happy...

words to lord

please lord, give me the strength to go through this... give me the strength to haul this through and better myself

i need the strength to be strong both mentally and physically...

love make us blind
but can't u hear sincerity when i talk
why would u want to give my world a halt
blame it on me and i don mind taking the fault
it's like an open wound dip into sea of salt
u mean just too much
is words that come straight from the heart
but how we fail to play our part
superman and krypton knight
its all worth the fight
so long as the wrong feels right
what dark knight
what white knight
its like a sun without heat and light
love just blinded our sight
no, only me
i let it be
something which i fail to see
how can i see there a problem in we
now that we spend time apart, it never seems like i'm free
who is there reaching out for me
lord, where are thee
holding hand, i told u how beautiful you were
and how at times i wish u were here
i try to have a sense of humour
but everything seems just as gloomer
hate to admit its already a goner
we need to flip this life card ourself and expect no help
its just something we need to dwell
i always dream of being that cool kid
but end up looking stupid
is there something i dont know
something u dont want to show
is there something i didn't find
or maybe i'm just blind
u make me lost my mind
i never leave u behind
by why u leave me back in the dark
crushing my heart
and pull me apart
u look me in the eye an spoke an honest speech
and now u expect me to cry for a bitch
or a witch
i dont know which is which
i know its hard crawling out from this ditch
to me, u say u will give me a hand for me to reach
but did u practice what u preach?
theres so much darkness in the world
but i see beauty in you girl
your love is all i need in this life
and its all i need till the end of time
i thought u will always be mine
i want to play cool on losing you
pieces of me is still not yet fix
i feel so down
knowing u no longer be around
stand by me lord
giving me the strength i need
grind me if u need
kick me down hard if u need
but bless me the strength
i promise i will bite this bullet through

i will make it

the song by nelly called just a dream caught my ear earlier this morning...

it brings a lot of memories to me... but i know its ok...

was extremely tired from the trip.... what actually makes it feel worthwhile is when i visited the tag heuer watch shop... oh wow... i have been thinking of getting a watch for myself for quite a while... this is the very first time i'm being serious with it... i walked in... talk about the price, learn about the watch and basically just about anything about it....

the price for the watch is pretty high end... however i really want to reward myself... lol, yea an excuse for getting myself that watch... a friend asked me why cant i just get a normal swatch or mickey mouse watch... the price is much lower... to be honest i don deny and furthermore its not like i'm a millionaire or something... but why not just get something i really like if financially allowed....

u don need to be a millionaire to do so

u c, i'm not really a stingy person but its just that when my company started, financially i'm tight... some individual however would presume i'm stuck like this forever... well, of course i cant stop them for thinking that way... it was that bad but i c things picking up... :)

and i keep telling myself that i should really work to better myself....

sometimes walking away is hard but why stay at a place when u knew the other party already change her heart since like the dinasour time... its long gone...

i wanted to look for her so much earlier today... just to c and ask how is she doing... then i told myself this

"stop being silly and stupid, of course she is doing great... i am nobody just concern about her, think about ownself better..."

sometmes there r lots of beautiful things in this world where u wanted to share with that special someone... she dash it all off.....

again i hope her other half can do that job n let her c those beautiful things... wait a minute, thats not even a problem.... i'm sure he can do a much better job than me

a friend told me.... at least i had my good times with her...

funny words... those r words trying to console ownself... i should accept i did a bad job and should improve on that and not thinking "oh we had our good times"

screw that shit

i will make it.... i will.....

not a dream but a statement

i will make it

and those that will make it... my blessings to u...

only to some audit donkey, good luck trying to be a success ya...

Nelly - Just A Dream

milo

i hate going to site and being sleepy when its raining....

by the way.... thanks milly for that warm milo... :D

swollen eye... now that is some funny shit eh.. lol

alive??

and its like 5 in the morning.....

and the images just keep broadcasting...

seriously... this is not easy...

its killing me if not eatiing me alive

hope i got energy for the tom's research... crap

Jay Chou - Fragrance Of Rice (Dao Xiang) Sub'd

Jay Chou - Tui Hou

buy it again

no wonder when asked why wont even come out on august 4 la

is some retardo's big day.... seriously

when asked don even dare to answer... just keep quiet and say some other excuse

oh crap.... i buy it again....

ing

some laugh at half of the joke i crack
unfortunately i am a comedian
decided to hide behind the tears of a clown
so why don't u all sit down
and listen to the tale i'm about to tell
we don't need to trade our shoes
and u don't need to walk no thousand miles
we can go inside each other mind
and see what we can find
but don't let others say u r not beautiful or great
we can stay true to ourself
world is cruel and mean
took the bruises
enough being slump
pick ownself out from the dump
don't just sit and weep on that sorrow
trying to avoid eye-contact
should we do that
this seems so bad
this all seems so sad
sometimes life can bring pain
but its just to keep us insane
but as said, keep the sunshine and save me the rain
there is this small thing
that i have been working and trying
trying to leap off but is helpless with a broken wing
trying to be strong or just a fact i'm hiding
not trying to be weak or anything
i'm just a human being
superman or not, u had mean just that much to me, ms P

deng tit lei

deng tit lei......



everything can be solve with a clear mind...



started the whole JB journey today and i can tell u how bad the day is....



a friend told me this which really motivates me.. it goes like this



the jest i know goes something like this "u can scold and u can talk, but when i stand up u're going to pay more"



u c, u r in the end dealing with jest.... and to top that... i should kick ass and not let my ass be kicked...



sometimes we tend to get weak, forging a net of guilt on top of ourself and laying ourself in this bed of negativity



it's logical to be strong but sometimes even superman would want to take a break



speaking of this.. i used to be one girl's superman... and u know even superman got yelled at till he cries.. lol



u c, each individual have their weak point... its ok... but don't get down for too long... dont rest too long.. or else life will come in and kick your teeth out and break u down...



life is this bad....



knowing this, god always tend to bless his children, thats u and me mind u, the strength to walk through it... its down to us to acknowledge such blessing and grind through it



along the way or walk of life... friends will come and pick us up... encouraging us too... while some have the wife/husband or family... if u have it all... u r damn sure lucky



i always have this lovely smile to bring me through, when the smile is gone, god always bless me with friends to go through the hardship


i said before that in this world there's one beauty which is very very dangerous and that is the beautiful smile of a lady

hemm...... deng tit lei

i got a challenge from a friend... telling me to go and talk or c P... daring me to c how strong i can be or have became...

u c, i hate to be challenge and would accept any form of challenge anytime but no, not this... i am desperately weak in front of her.... i dont need to show how strong i am for i knew, i cant even do this... at this moment

i will however kick your ass anytime on anything.... ok fine, i knew there r something which i might not be excellent at but i am a stronger challenger

:)

finishing up my journals and report for tom... seriously, i cant wait to grad from this PHD

:D

i really want to have a sense of achievement in my life and though its really really nothing special , i knew i had tried to achieve at least something...

seriously, not like stuck as an audit in a small firm and only have a ACCA to show... lol~~ or just driving this crappy old car... ok ok, maybe there's this burden la or whatever story.. i don't know... maybe u have your struggle la... giving u benefit of doubt..

i beleive that we should constantly improve ourself and not put ourself in the comfort zone too much... its through hot water that we will thrive and be successful...

it's a struggle in the beginning but who told u its always easy.... we will be demotivated and feel helpless but what doesn't kill us will make us grow stronger....

yes it matters how we end what doesn't matter is how slow we start... so long as u can finish the race and finish it with such awesome feat... then my friend, u have an achievement u can be proud of...

not just life but both life and career... not just career too.. but both life and career...

both of them sucks to me.. lol but i know... despite the hurdle... i will finish this race strong...

and i know, so can u too

deng tit lei... :)

break free

u still leave in the end
told myself not to cry
told by others not to feel sad
i order a cup of tea and add in some milk at our favourite spot
i order 1 cup more just in case u showed up
we have promise each other we'll had breakfast together till we got old
the tea is getting cold
together too with my heart
feel so sad that i did not get to say my last goodbye
feel regretful that i did not get my last hug
feel dissapointed that it did not end with a smile on our smile
its like i'm trap in this maze
struggling to break free
missing the scent from her hair
it's like i'm trap in my own feelings
hard to break free
it can be beautiful and not this complicated

Nicholas Tse [谢霆锋-如果没有感觉] MV

night

receive an email stating i'm qualify to immigrate to canada...

i'm so so so happy.... however i think i would hold on to this for a while.. i'm just really having fun working in KL for the moment and would want to keep it that way for a while....

path seems to set itself.. sometimes there r things u cant rush or push... it'll fix itself...

god always have plan for us

i know how much i have cried and be sad about.... rather than take the pain away, bless me with the strength to go through this

night all...

off to johor

off to Johor....

for studies and work i will strive and work harder.....

i might not be the smartest around but i definetely will put in the work to justify my position

:)

只要為你活一天

from NY to YP to P

promotion went well today.. it's my first time doing promotion for a clinic

and i can speak that setting foot into the medical line makes me nervous... lol

but i'm very very happy with the overall progress... venturing into the new field has never been this exciting...

i anticipate with glee... spoke to a soon to be new partner in the medical line.. we shared a lot of other stories

not only did we touch on other sectors but also prospect on other countries...

i found a great partner as my business associate for today beauty and knowing this new one just make everything looks brighter..

enough of the working stories... i hope it will goes well... the hong kong trip will be the first time the three of us going to partner it out together and i hope it will work out fine...

as we spoke i told her how i long for a holiday... i nearly went to this bangkok trip earlier but due to some mishap it did not took place... oh yea.. tell me about it..

when the YP rejected me, i was seriously thinking of kicking her butt, however when i found someone new to go with me.. i was almost jumping with glee... it turns to be even better then YP then realize how tired her work is and also wanted to go too...

it couldn't get any better.... now i'm having good friends tagging along.. :)

wait.. wait... the better part is coming.... i also found a friend who also wanted to go to korea with me.. wow.. though the korea trip is not confirm... i can't wait to ski~!! no, no snowboard... oh yea

just as i was kinda dancing due to the excitement.. i got a sms from my prof... asking me, no no let me re-phrase that... demanding i went down to johor to get the research data done

and he just have to spoil that raya mood... not that i'm muslim or whatever but come on.. i wanted a holiday too... my aunt actually called me up earlier and asked if i'm interested to tag along with her church friend for a getaway during the raya holidays... yea, and he just ruin it

ok, fine.. not suppose to bitch or whine about it.. whoever says PHD do not need any sacrifice

as i'm entering into the program... it blew me apart on the amount of journals i need to read... seriously i really prefer the hard copy journals and i realize how tiring and sleepy u can be when it's in soft copy format... i need an ipad, so miss YP, sponsor la.... u have this scholarship leh..

so i will label her as YP
let me label this new partner as NY since she appear on new york skin advertisement before.. lol

while having lunch with NY, she stun me by saying she already engage and will be getting married early next year... i was so shock... NY barely knew her husband, like only a month... and there she is now.. engage and wanting to get married

it reminded me on a lot of other things

u know, just a year back if i got asked how i will handle this.. i probably will cry my eyes off and not knowing what to do or say

not saying i don cry.. i still do.. lol.. but i'm pretty much numb to what is taking place

NY asked if i knew anything of P

and i shake my head... saying i don know enough... i could find out but i don't think i would want to... knowing a pinch salt more would mean a tsunami to me, and that YP just have to utter something which i don't want to listen.. making me almost sleepless..

NY asked further on why i don't find it out

she must be really thinking i'm some sort of superman... u c, some guys r really tough when it comes to handling this type of situation... i admit i'm not... at least not on P... lol.. i seriously go really weak when it comes to P

like really weak

i probably will be seeing her very very soon in a wedding dinner... i'll take this as a test to grow stronger... fuh~ no, not that i anticipate in seeing her and grab her off somewhere to yell or cry in front of her...

do i seriously need to do that??

it'll be distracful... i'm just happy she wont be on the same table as me...

sometimes i feel really really crappy when i think of her... but i knew i shouldn't be thinking of this...

i am really bad to her not because i do not love her but because i was not her cup of tea... i knew i'll be appreciated somewhere

i'm going to take my time... for at least i will appreciate the past and the future

definetely not going to jump ship so soon...

ok, lol... jokes aside... sometimes life will bring us a detour to hell but its alright... dont let this detour bring us down, never too let this detour to bring us down to our knees, bite the bullet and fight it through... no problem is too hard or too big to handle.. take the baton and run as hard as we can... take a small rest if u need to breeze off those tiring sweat... some cant help but drop a tears of two, just need to know that the exit from such hostile hell is not far... just keep running forward... sometimes u might not realize but u're only few feet away from it...

sometimes we felt lost and its like we're hanging in the middle... losing direction and the will as well as strength to fight... winner always find their way and thats how our parents brought us up...

a teacher from my primary school once said this "rumah kuning rumah jaguh, cabaran datang tetap kita diri teguh" i would want to share this quote to many others who read this

SKTS dont breed losers

謝霆鋒 Nicholas Tse - 281 Gong Li (281 kms) 281公里

so long

it's always been very cruel to peel apart someone's wound
i urge not to be infatuated, temporarily keep some love for oneself

nobody likes to be alone, but worst being in a hate love relations
in this lofty human world, even smile could be lonely

i can't help but exile, like a piece of dust
i dare not to, i don't want to

it's an evaded tender affection, clearly one kind of pain
regards of how strong a heart can be, it eventually is made out of flesh and blood

it feels like steel knife in windpipe, hardly breathing, it doesn't feel right
but it only make sense so long as the wrong feels right

funny

how come i did not get the 1,700 scholarship bank into my account.. lol

just concentrate on working.... and be strong.. :)

it's a tough period and i know i will be ok soon.. :)

more to share later... having this really interesting topic with this person now.. lol~!! i can tell u.. its funny

burn

just gonna sit there and watch me burn

but its ok.. i'm just gonna let it burn..

i told u so

i'm beyond sad.... just ran through some pictures and i can just tell u how much it all hurts

but i c some people doing just fine and how strong some people are doing

i knew i should and can be stronger... it's seriously easier to be said than done

but i know i can... give me some time

lol... i can make an ocean already for the time i cried i think.. lol

i'm laughing at myself on this... i knew it has been sometime

what a weak ass

i talked to a friend the other day on this.. and she told me i have a pure heart when it comes to relationship

lol

i really appreciate such fine compliment but i cant help but take it as a form of motivation... again, i knew where i stand... if its that pure... do u think i will be ditch over and over again??

then that girl will come by and say oh no, u don't understand.. our problem is i don love her enough la, that i break promise la, that i lie la.. u know.. those things

but then... of all the cry, venting, feeling sad, bad, regret and it all... does it really matter??

i strongly think she found a better one and could be "the one"

though again, i hate that feeling and also all the crying... it won't matter in the end on how i feel... for human tend to be selfish... else she wont put me in this position and go after what she think is the right one la

i just find, keep looking, the whle re-adapting on new people is seriously tired....

she always said.. i look at her at certain way and she don't like it

i hate to say this but "i told u so"

cash-flow

eventful weekend... woke up early in the morning to go to work.. man, it's sunday and i have to work at 8 in the morning.... arrive at the clinic late... its all good though...

work with this young lady and i really like the way she works... we spoke a lot previously and is so interested to corporate with today beauty but targetting on the medical industry

i'm glad and happy in a way... it'll take off i hope... when a group of talented and hardworking young people get together, i knew something awesome could happen

anyway of course prior to the promotion thing... i have a terrible night before.. oh yea, u get it.. i cried like a lot...

again?? wtf?? many would asked

seriously... it means a lot to me ma.. so give me a break

of course many customer asked.. like.. wtf too.. lol..

i didn't mention much but i did asked them about their life.. i always thought that by talking to different people of different age can always make u grow... and i'm glad i learn a lot by talking to them

i went straight to tutoring after the promotion thing... it was a fun class... its like one of the best class we had for a very long time... everybody had their fun

i went directly to my colleague's sister wedding dinner after that

to be honest i was seated together with some old people but hell.. these old people can really drink.. lol

and when your partner in crime is making u drink too.. u know.. there's no way u leaving the place without drunk

and i hate sometimes how much i think of her when i got drunk

i called and seek comfort from a friend.... crying again.. of course.. lol

however despite it all... i had my wish for her.... seriously... though i hate it.. but my best wishes r with her...

i don need to make people regret or some sort... i know where i stand

i knew in the end when u grew older... money speaks louder than company... and right now i just want to concentrate increasing that greens...

may god bless me...

straight up

i seriously think in a relationship that we should at least leave on good term

y cant tell straight up... like does it have to be a lie??

like u have something up the ass or something that u can't speak the truth??

crap

stand up strong

my friend told me this, to not think overly about it but just focus on better myself...

that since she has found her true one.. i should be really happy for her

and that i should also work harder and better and find one myself...

that despite it all... i should stand up strong

next time

enough of venting.....

period....

i deserve more

i cant tell u what love is but i can tell u what it feels like

sometimes... its this love thing which kinda destroy u and make u go all angry and mad

i hate to do this all over again... i really hate it

a girl once told me this quote.. maybe he is not that into u

well.. maybe she is not that into me..... no, no.. despite it all i knew.. she is not that into me

next time... there will be no next time..

slap on forehead

no feelings involve.. just liek changing clothes

*slap on forehead*

my other friend who is getting married told me this....

"move on and stand back up.. she is like this.. and everybody knows it... "

*another slap on forehead*

let it happen

i really done being the nice or gentleman.......

some joker say home wrecker is like the worst thing u can do

seriously?? do u know almost all of my relationship were home wreck??

telling only as good friend.. helping only as good friend... only having social hangout as a good friend... and only giving gift as a good friend

how can i be called a fool when i c it coming?? no, she let it happen..

liar

u don't and never count on women...

seriously i still don't know why i think back of the days so much... seriously

the more i think of it the more stupid i felt... and i hate feeling stupid

i'll take that as an insult and also a benchmark

and let this be an inspiration and also motivation

i knew as of now prob she is doing really well and really happy... it's seriously a good thing... somebody just move on really fast... and yes i don't deny there is a small part of me that feel bitter.. though i know i shouldn't

i believe my eye and what i saw...

i vow to myself that i will be strong and to never put my trust on women anymore

that this is the last time i will ever cry whole heartly for a women

that i will never let a women give me that guilt trip ever

that no bitches will take me for that stupid ride anymore

that i will make my life more successful and colourful

i don't deny that i feel mad now... but screw this shit... who say life is like a nintendo game that when u die u can just reset.. it's tornado meet volcano

and i keep believe in her... over and over again... and she keeps telling me lies~!!!

don't even tell me that i lie when u r lying yourself~!!!

all the good memories?? u betray it all with your lies....

what goes around comes around

seriously, what goes around comes around..

i'm very sure someday a close friend will come by again and let u taste that medicine...

stupid lies

and all along giving me this guilt trip.. whereby she herself is telling stupid lies..

oh seriously please

stupid bitch~!!! i told u long time ago and she told me it's only friend??

please.. bitches will always be bitches...

c it coming

c it coming since like long time ago.... and she told me again and again it's nothing..

oh please....

check this out

i really like this verse on describing love

"i can't tell u what it really is, but i can tell u what i feels like, and it's like a steel knife in my wind pipe, u can't breath but u still fight"

crap... lol

movies....

watch "long distance" movie the other day...

it's a good movie and i enjoy it a lot...

i also watch this small clip... called who moved my cheese.. it's a good inspiring clip...

ok, many would probably want to watch it... let me drew this conclusion for u guys... it's about moving forward, moving on

fever is slightly getting better.. and what does this means?? time to keep going... pick up where i left and just keep going

hemm... many things to share but somehow i feel really tired at this moment.. share with u guys more this evening??

:)

going to watch more movies this coming weekend.. wah.. i'm so excited..

was also thinking of going for a trip so if somehow the yp let my pigeon go, i will definetely put an indian head by her kenari... lol

Eminem - Love The Way You Lie ft. Rihanna

sick

i'm sick.. like terribly sick

bite the bullet

oh i seriously need more sleep...

it's just tiring.....

word for ownself.... "be strong and stay strong, the last one standing is always the winner, bite the bullet through~!!"

my take

sleep really late yesterday....

went for friday's yesterday and for the very first time, not only am i dissapointed with the service that they provided but the food as well

i don't know why is it called a pop drink when it's very apparent it "ran out" of gas

it's medium rare and not well done

seriously

an interesting part took place too.. while i was walking and doing my shopping.. i saw this dude that goes by the name "black fit" with his brother that apparently have down syndrome

ok not that i love him nor do i know him a lot... but i used to hate him a lot... i don feel of such as of now

lots of things have taken place and i began to see certain things on a different perspective

anyway had a conversation with a friend until very late at night yesterday which prompt me to reach home late and thus working my journal till wee in the morning...

not bitching but just sharing

something interesting happen earlier though

while meeting up with my customer today and yes, it's national holiday but i still work... after the whole meeting finish i meet up with another friend of mine to had lunch together... little i know while we were having lunch... her "ex-boyfriend" came in... sat in front of us and start to yell...

it's weird but i keep quiet... arguments than flare between them and all of a sudden he direct his anger to me...

seriously?? it's my problem now... i keep silent and he keep asking and throwing words at me for no particular reason

u c, i have my hot button and i couldn't stand when certain words are thrown at me... for example i hate it so much when people start calling me stupid... i hate it

and god he keeps saying that....

for a moment, i stand up excuse myself and walked away

seriously though inside i feel like just bashing him up... like literally... i decide otherwise

of course i am proud of my action.. not that i'm sissy

u c, i promise that i will work really and push myself to be a really good man...

anyway while on my way back.. my friend then appologize for the scene and we continue our conversation... she then asked me... if i still keep in touch with my ex and if i am mad of her

to be honest i don really keep in touch with her.. i don really know what's going on with her life.. and i don think i would like or want to know about it either.. she enjoy what she is doing then by all means go ahead... am i mad of her?? she likes to give me this guilt trip but no, i'm not really mad at her... it's her choice and i had good memories with her...

she continue if i still believe in love

lol, lots of ppl asked me this question... do i sound that hurt to u guys

ok, i dont deny i got hurt like real bad... seriously, its bad...

but i do still believe in this funny love thing but i know love can't stand alone... guy without quality is still consider rubbish to me

seriously we should get our life on track.. stop wasting it

at 26, we should able to demonstrate certain achievement by now.. if achivement is about how high your marks is in facebook game or just some LV, gucci bag... u got some serious problem and thinking u need to do

everybody wants a simpe life... but don't forget we should also live this life... being successful is not an option... stating just want a simple life tell the whole world how useless u r for u dont even have what it takes to be successful...

even a 30+ year old guy who i deem as useful, buy his own big car and also start up his own company, while others almost single handedly support the whole family...

stop wasting life... thats my take

jay chou _ broken string