national day holiday...
what could possibly be your plan for today..
mine??
work la what else...
someone told me why am i pushing the envelope so hard
building a legacy?? like money?? for better future?? or just plain enjoy working
seriously
i hope to earn that extra cash so that i can get out of this frog hole
and since malaysia is a good place to earn money... i mean why not take this opportunity to earn that extra cash eh??
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
its that simple
that's a long conversation i had with someone yesterday.. but it's all good
i feel relief at this moment... and i began to see things in a different manner
i'm talking about relationship
there r certain things that we knew would be best if we just keep it as memories
turn the clock back would i still do the same thing as i did before?? of course i will... despite the ride i will of course do the same thing as i did before
i felt that i did not give my best previously and never willing to let it go.... however as of now i knew, i did push my limit
i knew someone will appreciate her more than i do and i also knew someone out there will also appreciate me of who i am
turning the pages around.... i saw light around the corner
i know what i'm about to do is consider as "not gentleman" but seriously i'm done being a nice guy.... i knew what i want and is going out to get it...
and i think though it sounded selfish, ppl should adopt this philosophy
go out and get what u want or deserve... never let someone tell u that u can't do this or that... if u want something, go and get it. period. simple as that
i feel relief at this moment... and i began to see things in a different manner
i'm talking about relationship
there r certain things that we knew would be best if we just keep it as memories
turn the clock back would i still do the same thing as i did before?? of course i will... despite the ride i will of course do the same thing as i did before
i felt that i did not give my best previously and never willing to let it go.... however as of now i knew, i did push my limit
i knew someone will appreciate her more than i do and i also knew someone out there will also appreciate me of who i am
turning the pages around.... i saw light around the corner
i know what i'm about to do is consider as "not gentleman" but seriously i'm done being a nice guy.... i knew what i want and is going out to get it...
and i think though it sounded selfish, ppl should adopt this philosophy
go out and get what u want or deserve... never let someone tell u that u can't do this or that... if u want something, go and get it. period. simple as that
excitement
i don't really know how it will unfold or how it'll turn out to be
just somehow along the line i think i should give it a shot...
lets c how it'll turn out....
keep u guys update
i'm pretty excited over this though
oh yea...
just somehow along the line i think i should give it a shot...
lets c how it'll turn out....
keep u guys update
i'm pretty excited over this though
oh yea...
Monday, August 30, 2010
period
when u want something.... u go and get it... period
simple as that
not let somebody tell u that u can't achieve your dream, if u got a dream, u have to protect it.
other ppl cant do that for themself and they always have plan to sabotage others
make dream happen, thats what we should do
simple as that
not let somebody tell u that u can't achieve your dream, if u got a dream, u have to protect it.
other ppl cant do that for themself and they always have plan to sabotage others
make dream happen, thats what we should do
give me the rain
went to the organic farm today... it's a fun outing.... something different and also something new...
did i learn something?? i do in a way... but at the same time i knew the dude that bring us around is crapping...
was a bz week for me... there's promotion, tutoring among some of the things i'm doing... i'll be starting my PHD research this october and my prof is really pushing me hard.. getting me ready for the research... seriously, i have not read so many journals for such a long time... it sucks in a way for i only get to sleep few hours every day... like seriously just few hours....
despite being tired and sleepy.... i somehow feel so excited about the whole research thing... i really wanted to do my PHD and here i am doing it... :)
as said... just sit back and enjoy the ride... it's a tough and tiring ride... but hell.. i'm very sure this ride is much better than just wasting my life...
anyway despite the bz schedule... i get to have dinner with someone... it's actually a post celebration thing.... for her birthday... didn't really get her a cake but i hope the candle and wishes will make up for it.... it was a good dinner and she really make the dinner worthwhile...
oh by the way, nothing happen... lol... when going out with a chick doesn not mean that something should happen.. ok??
anywya after the organic farm trip thing.. i went straight to tutoring... believe me.. it's tiring... the night before this morning's trip... i slept at nearly 2am... and i hate promotiong that just wreck my saturday... and this morning i have to wake up at 7.30... it's seriously tiring...
when i reach home after the whole teaching... to start working on a few assignment...
unexpectedly i fell asleep in front of my laptop.... suddenly my phone rang... someone came and look for me to have supper... feeling really tired, i spoke that unless i was giving a ride, there's no way in hell i'm going out....
fair enough to say... i was given my ride...
it's a couple that look for me... we talked... through the conversation... there's so many things that i saw... it was late at night and the girl was clearly really hungry... yet due to some circumstances the guy was force to work shift and the girl end up waiting the guy for a few good hours....
is she mad?? u bet~!! but after a while she forgave him and end up him giving her a kiss while she forgive him...
wow.... i was like.... wow
u know... thats what i want.... u c, she is great in her certain way and i really really appreciate it but if such case happen to me... i would be scolded really badly, worst i will be given a guilt trip
not saying someone is bad or something... i knew though she loves me... it was never enough... it probably was strong earlier on... it fades away half way through
she has been really awesome to me and i think i would want to leave it that way.... let then she enjoy the best in life, she deserve it...
as said... save her the sunshine and leave the rain to me...
i am superman afterall... yea, superman that can't fly..
did i learn something?? i do in a way... but at the same time i knew the dude that bring us around is crapping...
was a bz week for me... there's promotion, tutoring among some of the things i'm doing... i'll be starting my PHD research this october and my prof is really pushing me hard.. getting me ready for the research... seriously, i have not read so many journals for such a long time... it sucks in a way for i only get to sleep few hours every day... like seriously just few hours....
despite being tired and sleepy.... i somehow feel so excited about the whole research thing... i really wanted to do my PHD and here i am doing it... :)
as said... just sit back and enjoy the ride... it's a tough and tiring ride... but hell.. i'm very sure this ride is much better than just wasting my life...
anyway despite the bz schedule... i get to have dinner with someone... it's actually a post celebration thing.... for her birthday... didn't really get her a cake but i hope the candle and wishes will make up for it.... it was a good dinner and she really make the dinner worthwhile...
oh by the way, nothing happen... lol... when going out with a chick doesn not mean that something should happen.. ok??
anywya after the organic farm trip thing.. i went straight to tutoring... believe me.. it's tiring... the night before this morning's trip... i slept at nearly 2am... and i hate promotiong that just wreck my saturday... and this morning i have to wake up at 7.30... it's seriously tiring...
when i reach home after the whole teaching... to start working on a few assignment...
unexpectedly i fell asleep in front of my laptop.... suddenly my phone rang... someone came and look for me to have supper... feeling really tired, i spoke that unless i was giving a ride, there's no way in hell i'm going out....
fair enough to say... i was given my ride...
it's a couple that look for me... we talked... through the conversation... there's so many things that i saw... it was late at night and the girl was clearly really hungry... yet due to some circumstances the guy was force to work shift and the girl end up waiting the guy for a few good hours....
is she mad?? u bet~!! but after a while she forgave him and end up him giving her a kiss while she forgive him...
wow.... i was like.... wow
u know... thats what i want.... u c, she is great in her certain way and i really really appreciate it but if such case happen to me... i would be scolded really badly, worst i will be given a guilt trip
not saying someone is bad or something... i knew though she loves me... it was never enough... it probably was strong earlier on... it fades away half way through
she has been really awesome to me and i think i would want to leave it that way.... let then she enjoy the best in life, she deserve it...
as said... save her the sunshine and leave the rain to me...
i am superman afterall... yea, superman that can't fly..
Thursday, August 26, 2010
yeah man
picking up pieces....
just for this morning i'm not going think too much....
i'm very sure i have that strength...
share more later tonight..... "yeah man"
just for this morning i'm not going think too much....
i'm very sure i have that strength...
share more later tonight..... "yeah man"
second thought
and i couldn't help but drop a tears or two again
weak-ass
no question about this
if it's meant to be, it will be
i need a clear path.......... oh please god.....
weak-ass
no question about this
if it's meant to be, it will be
i need a clear path.......... oh please god.....
august 26
it's 2.21am now
i cannot fall asleep.... r there things that bother me?? yes, there is..... and i don't know where to start....
on and off there's this girl who show real interest in me... but i am not about to do anything...
seriously... not that i'm afraid nor that i'm not trying to open up..
u c, this is my take.... i don think what i have gone through is a lot but its definetely something... at least to me... and i'm not going to jump the gun unless either i have keep it all aside or unless i am being known of who i am
i just told a friend... sometimes we need to be strong that we can't cry
of course i knew as of now i need a shoulder.....
so many things ran through my mind.... everything that we had shared
she leave her imprint so deep that to me..... she played such an important role
everybody is good at wearing mask and i knew i am doing it pretty well during the day time... only this time round, rather than share it out with other ppl, i prefer to keep it to myself
one of my cousin who is doing her psychology research send me this questionaire thing... one of the question goes like this
what keeps u motivated or rather what inspire u
to be honest the first answer that pop up in my mind... blew me apart
P played such a role that when i look at the question my first answer to that question is "to not let P down"
irony, it happen that when i'm with her i always let her down... at least that's what i presume... maybe i fail to live up to her expectation
an individual told me if u love a person, u should make sure the person to be love.. either by u or by any other ppl
i knew many understand this that to c the person u really really have strong feelings for being cared and loved by other ppl.... makes u feel like crap
i know, to the fact that she is being well taken care of.... i really believe so... that she is in good hands.... all in all i knew an awesome person like her seriously deserve someone better
i don want to jump the gun and is definetely not ready for anything else... i just want to study and work to better myself.... i just want to take this as an alone time
u know there's this verse once said
i am nobody thus even the biggest wound will look small on me...
though tired being of nobody... sometimes the more we struggle... the more empty we feel.. it just amazed me how fast some other ppl can move on...
my friend called and give me his biggest encouragement... showing me all the support he can
i am really grateful
i also have good friends supporting me
but towards the end of the day.... i knew it all too well.. it's still empty
i knew i have to be strong and i am doing it... but please don't judge me on this... many just have no clue how important of a role she had played in me
seriously u don't
her voice at night still echo through.... and many have no clue that the many sleepless night i had is simply me having such a tough time putting it down~!!!!!!
it's over and i freaking know it.... i do!!!!!
a friend asked me wha's so special about her....
above everything... she gives me that extra heartbeat....
worthwhile or worthless... this is my life and i have to struggle through
i don need much sympathy.... i don't.....
she has been my earth and sun......
i cannot fall asleep.... r there things that bother me?? yes, there is..... and i don't know where to start....
on and off there's this girl who show real interest in me... but i am not about to do anything...
seriously... not that i'm afraid nor that i'm not trying to open up..
u c, this is my take.... i don think what i have gone through is a lot but its definetely something... at least to me... and i'm not going to jump the gun unless either i have keep it all aside or unless i am being known of who i am
i just told a friend... sometimes we need to be strong that we can't cry
of course i knew as of now i need a shoulder.....
so many things ran through my mind.... everything that we had shared
she leave her imprint so deep that to me..... she played such an important role
everybody is good at wearing mask and i knew i am doing it pretty well during the day time... only this time round, rather than share it out with other ppl, i prefer to keep it to myself
one of my cousin who is doing her psychology research send me this questionaire thing... one of the question goes like this
what keeps u motivated or rather what inspire u
to be honest the first answer that pop up in my mind... blew me apart
P played such a role that when i look at the question my first answer to that question is "to not let P down"
irony, it happen that when i'm with her i always let her down... at least that's what i presume... maybe i fail to live up to her expectation
an individual told me if u love a person, u should make sure the person to be love.. either by u or by any other ppl
i knew many understand this that to c the person u really really have strong feelings for being cared and loved by other ppl.... makes u feel like crap
i know, to the fact that she is being well taken care of.... i really believe so... that she is in good hands.... all in all i knew an awesome person like her seriously deserve someone better
i don want to jump the gun and is definetely not ready for anything else... i just want to study and work to better myself.... i just want to take this as an alone time
u know there's this verse once said
i am nobody thus even the biggest wound will look small on me...
though tired being of nobody... sometimes the more we struggle... the more empty we feel.. it just amazed me how fast some other ppl can move on...
my friend called and give me his biggest encouragement... showing me all the support he can
i am really grateful
i also have good friends supporting me
but towards the end of the day.... i knew it all too well.. it's still empty
i knew i have to be strong and i am doing it... but please don't judge me on this... many just have no clue how important of a role she had played in me
seriously u don't
her voice at night still echo through.... and many have no clue that the many sleepless night i had is simply me having such a tough time putting it down~!!!!!!
it's over and i freaking know it.... i do!!!!!
a friend asked me wha's so special about her....
above everything... she gives me that extra heartbeat....
worthwhile or worthless... this is my life and i have to struggle through
i don need much sympathy.... i don't.....
she has been my earth and sun......
Monday, August 23, 2010
sorry dog
talked to a friend the other day and she asked me a lot about myself....
i spoke of how i just put my faith on god to let him dwell with things.... she asked me also about my relationship
i stay silent for a while and continued... "what do u want to know"
have u let he rgo and what happen between u and her?? this r her questions... i didn't answer
she asked again how is she doing
i have told myself to not let P get into my skin ever... though this question kinda irk me... i am not willing to let myself to be irk by P again
u c, i replied.... i don't really know... true that i can maybe know about her wellbeing by asking friends or going to her blog.... but the fact remain i'm so attached to her i don't even dare to go to her blog, her facebook page or just asked anything about her....
i afraid to know of something which i don't want to know...
she has been awesome to me and i just don't want to know something which will destroy such impression.... and yes, though we have gone through a lot but i always said... which relationship r smooth going?? there's always ups and downs
those r my answers to her
do i hate her?? to be honest.... i don't... i just don't want to dwell with her.... i no longer exist in her and i know... it has been so since long time ago..... i'm sure
however i knew i had give her my everything and that i had change myself so much for her.... but if i am not her cup of tea... it's ok for i knew god have his arrangement for me
i always says i am god's favourite son and i knew he love me so much.... he won't let me down... *praise the lord*
a girl asked me yesterday.... stating how she thinks i'm smart, well behave, funny and also ambitious is single now
i smile and replied... if i'm that good... would my previous girl left me?? true maybe we're not meant for each other.... i do have my weakness, a fact that shouldn't be discount off
but be it who is coming next.... i no longer want to be someone else.... i just want to be myself....
my last post i stated....
"u say don't love and u stop loving, leaving me 1 person in despair"
i am tired of being the despair one... everytime P let me go through this and i cried like a sorry dog while she on the other side... don't even drop as much tears as i do.... i don want to be the one who always on the end of side being afraid to get break up.... that everytime P went out with someone i'm so afraid she will get taken away from
u c, who ever is coming.... i am here speaking i don't want to cry for u anymore like a sorry dog...
i spoke of how i just put my faith on god to let him dwell with things.... she asked me also about my relationship
i stay silent for a while and continued... "what do u want to know"
have u let he rgo and what happen between u and her?? this r her questions... i didn't answer
she asked again how is she doing
i have told myself to not let P get into my skin ever... though this question kinda irk me... i am not willing to let myself to be irk by P again
u c, i replied.... i don't really know... true that i can maybe know about her wellbeing by asking friends or going to her blog.... but the fact remain i'm so attached to her i don't even dare to go to her blog, her facebook page or just asked anything about her....
i afraid to know of something which i don't want to know...
she has been awesome to me and i just don't want to know something which will destroy such impression.... and yes, though we have gone through a lot but i always said... which relationship r smooth going?? there's always ups and downs
those r my answers to her
do i hate her?? to be honest.... i don't... i just don't want to dwell with her.... i no longer exist in her and i know... it has been so since long time ago..... i'm sure
however i knew i had give her my everything and that i had change myself so much for her.... but if i am not her cup of tea... it's ok for i knew god have his arrangement for me
i always says i am god's favourite son and i knew he love me so much.... he won't let me down... *praise the lord*
a girl asked me yesterday.... stating how she thinks i'm smart, well behave, funny and also ambitious is single now
i smile and replied... if i'm that good... would my previous girl left me?? true maybe we're not meant for each other.... i do have my weakness, a fact that shouldn't be discount off
but be it who is coming next.... i no longer want to be someone else.... i just want to be myself....
my last post i stated....
"u say don't love and u stop loving, leaving me 1 person in despair"
i am tired of being the despair one... everytime P let me go through this and i cried like a sorry dog while she on the other side... don't even drop as much tears as i do.... i don want to be the one who always on the end of side being afraid to get break up.... that everytime P went out with someone i'm so afraid she will get taken away from
u c, who ever is coming.... i am here speaking i don't want to cry for u anymore like a sorry dog...
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
omg
today seems like an interesting day august 16
my emotion is so mix at this moment i don feel like writting anything... will write more when alone in the hotel later..
:(
my emotion is so mix at this moment i don feel like writting anything... will write more when alone in the hotel later..
:(
Sunday, August 15, 2010
special
a tiring day of working out station.... first stop at melacca...
brings back so much memories.... as i walk the jonker street alone.... the memories began to fill me up... i try to back off and not think too much about it for i knew... it's really pointless... but it seems the more i try to stop thinking of it.. the more i think about it... and for a moment i stood there... just tryong to gain my composure... as i turn my head around...
i saw something that caught my eye... a t-shirt...
no it's not just any t-shirt.....
it's a couple tee that we brought for each other when we were up in thailand...
its the exact same one....
i can't turn back time..... i really can't
as much as i hate what is going on.... trust me when i say i hated myself more
sometimes despite what been said, heard or even the very worst part of her side..... she's still very much to me.... someone really special
:)
brings back so much memories.... as i walk the jonker street alone.... the memories began to fill me up... i try to back off and not think too much about it for i knew... it's really pointless... but it seems the more i try to stop thinking of it.. the more i think about it... and for a moment i stood there... just tryong to gain my composure... as i turn my head around...
i saw something that caught my eye... a t-shirt...
no it's not just any t-shirt.....
it's a couple tee that we brought for each other when we were up in thailand...
its the exact same one....
i can't turn back time..... i really can't
as much as i hate what is going on.... trust me when i say i hated myself more
sometimes despite what been said, heard or even the very worst part of her side..... she's still very much to me.... someone really special
:)
Friday, August 13, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
best
no doubt however it has been the most memorable one to me...
to me... she has been the best.... to me... a really awesome individual
to me... she has been the best.... to me... a really awesome individual
phd
i breath an air out... sigh, i speak to myself. Work has been hectic, to make matter worse i was being struck by a flu. worst still, i lost my voice this morning...
and i will be leaving to johor this coming weekend...
its 6.40pm now and i'm sitting here at starbucks all by myself.. funny how this time round nobody is drinking any coffee...
a slight thought of her grip me... i brush it off knowing all too well it'll only worsen my condition...
i'm very sure.. there r ppl who have walked a much tougher path...
i have spoke and told many ppl, don worry for lord will always show u the way... for we just have to put our faith in him..
i have grew to adapt and be a much stronger boy.. boy.. yea, i refer myself as a boy for i knew i will still break down when being feed with real bitter...
i went for an interview the other day and i am very happy to say i got admitted into the PHD research program.. though i knew my time will be more tight... i just couldn't wait for it to start... let alone graduate from it... just thinking of this makes me smile.. :)
my mom asked me about P the other day... i hesitate for a while and then reply that we just couldn't get along... she further asked why....
to be honest, does it really matter whats the real reason behind?? if she's really happy with her current state... does it really matter?? however thats not how i reply... i just shrug my shoulder and reply... just couldn't get along...
one of my friend shared my current sitiation to a whole group of people during a bible study session... i could have imagine them laughing at my situation.. lol.. trust me.. i'm very sure u will laugh too if u listen to my side of story...
they then replied.. "your friend (referring to me) is overly focus on that lady"
overly focus?? serious?? and she always said she's not my priority... once she walks out of my life.... i find myself having too many empty spaces... yes, it's too many and it is then i realize that other than work, its only her...
pathetic?? oh trust me... it sounds foolishly retard...
one of my friend once asked me why i cant let her go.... and i look back and answered... seriously, it's really about having a very strong feeling for her... i knew this type of feeling don't come easy and i knew once u lost it... its very hard to find it back
lol again eh??
i talked to a friend yesterday.... and i spoke to him about nice guys always finish last and how guys chasing girls happen all the time... its a constant threat and u cant stop this guy from chasing your girl...
he look at me and laugh... calling me stupid... i was puzzled... and i asked why he said so
he replied "your previous girl must have really brain wash u, she is so not simple"
i became more puzzle as of why he said so... i continue to asked.. why
he replied... "it's not about guys being a constant threat, but its about the type of signal your girl is sending which attract guys, if she sends a message as like i'm not available, u seriously think guy will still go after her??"
it makes sense to me...
"don't let a girl bring u around the park, u're maybe an asshole to her but to others u might be someone's superman"
more to share but as of now.. i need to go teaching....
let me make a shout again
"i cant wait to go into PHD"
:)
and i will be leaving to johor this coming weekend...
its 6.40pm now and i'm sitting here at starbucks all by myself.. funny how this time round nobody is drinking any coffee...
a slight thought of her grip me... i brush it off knowing all too well it'll only worsen my condition...
i'm very sure.. there r ppl who have walked a much tougher path...
i have spoke and told many ppl, don worry for lord will always show u the way... for we just have to put our faith in him..
i have grew to adapt and be a much stronger boy.. boy.. yea, i refer myself as a boy for i knew i will still break down when being feed with real bitter...
i went for an interview the other day and i am very happy to say i got admitted into the PHD research program.. though i knew my time will be more tight... i just couldn't wait for it to start... let alone graduate from it... just thinking of this makes me smile.. :)
my mom asked me about P the other day... i hesitate for a while and then reply that we just couldn't get along... she further asked why....
to be honest, does it really matter whats the real reason behind?? if she's really happy with her current state... does it really matter?? however thats not how i reply... i just shrug my shoulder and reply... just couldn't get along...
one of my friend shared my current sitiation to a whole group of people during a bible study session... i could have imagine them laughing at my situation.. lol.. trust me.. i'm very sure u will laugh too if u listen to my side of story...
they then replied.. "your friend (referring to me) is overly focus on that lady"
overly focus?? serious?? and she always said she's not my priority... once she walks out of my life.... i find myself having too many empty spaces... yes, it's too many and it is then i realize that other than work, its only her...
pathetic?? oh trust me... it sounds foolishly retard...
one of my friend once asked me why i cant let her go.... and i look back and answered... seriously, it's really about having a very strong feeling for her... i knew this type of feeling don't come easy and i knew once u lost it... its very hard to find it back
lol again eh??
i talked to a friend yesterday.... and i spoke to him about nice guys always finish last and how guys chasing girls happen all the time... its a constant threat and u cant stop this guy from chasing your girl...
he look at me and laugh... calling me stupid... i was puzzled... and i asked why he said so
he replied "your previous girl must have really brain wash u, she is so not simple"
i became more puzzle as of why he said so... i continue to asked.. why
he replied... "it's not about guys being a constant threat, but its about the type of signal your girl is sending which attract guys, if she sends a message as like i'm not available, u seriously think guy will still go after her??"
it makes sense to me...
"don't let a girl bring u around the park, u're maybe an asshole to her but to others u might be someone's superman"
more to share but as of now.. i need to go teaching....
let me make a shout again
"i cant wait to go into PHD"
:)
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
secret
i gave u a dream cause u meant the world
now u're out of control and stone cold
how could u let go
don't u know it's all more than material
so whats the secret knowing place will be taken
i thought this never end
i also thought we were friends
now u're out of control and stone cold
how could u let go
don't u know it's all more than material
so whats the secret knowing place will be taken
i thought this never end
i also thought we were friends
Monday, August 2, 2010
kick ass and chew bubble gum
and i say let the game begin... it's going to be a tough road... very tough..
but lets c how it'll turn out to be
i know my faith in god above will always give me the upper hand...
so lets kick ass and chew bubble gum
but lets c how it'll turn out to be
i know my faith in god above will always give me the upper hand...
so lets kick ass and chew bubble gum
taking back my love
a friend send me a link.... it's a song by enrique iglesias ft ciara called taking back my love
lol
thank you so much for the encouragement
it's really easier to sing than done
no.. seriously
u just don't understand
lol
thank you so much for the encouragement
it's really easier to sing than done
no.. seriously
u just don't understand
life goes on
i heard this many many times....
crap.... i'm that deep inside i can't even crawl out...
crap~!!!!
crap.... i'm that deep inside i can't even crawl out...
crap~!!!!
sure??
met with a very very old friend today... still the same ol' him... 28 now and still single.. we chat... he then asked
what is the one thing i remembered most of my relationship
try to laugh it off... i asked... which one??
he replied.... the one u remembered most
the laugther suddenly stop..... and i thought to myself... there's so much.... so so much
and i replied... there's a lot... i can't pinpoint...
u c... there's something which u can't erase...
a friend said the other day.... u can always find someone outside who is much much better
to that statement i wouldn't disagree.... and i believe there is.... however.... i for once knew.... there's this feeling which no longer i can re-create....
yea.. call me sentimental.... but i knew very much... just like i believe very much in the existance of god... what is then called relationship... the feeling of doing crazy things together... the feeling of just lookign at her and do nothing the whole day but yet day still consider worthwhile passing
yes boys will be boys and girls will be girls
and i know for certain there r things wouldn't be change
everyone is kind enough to give me my own space to breath and to just let it go.... and many more are kind enough to give me the support i needed so much...
to that i would like to say thanks
apart from talking to my old friend... i pushed off all my appointments today and just sit back....
though i have walk this through many many times.... like many many times....
it still very much beat for her..
crazy eh??
tell me about it~!!! and to that i'm very sure... there r some guys who knew exactly what i'm trying to say.... i'm very sure
what is the one thing i remembered most of my relationship
try to laugh it off... i asked... which one??
he replied.... the one u remembered most
the laugther suddenly stop..... and i thought to myself... there's so much.... so so much
and i replied... there's a lot... i can't pinpoint...
u c... there's something which u can't erase...
a friend said the other day.... u can always find someone outside who is much much better
to that statement i wouldn't disagree.... and i believe there is.... however.... i for once knew.... there's this feeling which no longer i can re-create....
yea.. call me sentimental.... but i knew very much... just like i believe very much in the existance of god... what is then called relationship... the feeling of doing crazy things together... the feeling of just lookign at her and do nothing the whole day but yet day still consider worthwhile passing
yes boys will be boys and girls will be girls
and i know for certain there r things wouldn't be change
everyone is kind enough to give me my own space to breath and to just let it go.... and many more are kind enough to give me the support i needed so much...
to that i would like to say thanks
apart from talking to my old friend... i pushed off all my appointments today and just sit back....
though i have walk this through many many times.... like many many times....
it still very much beat for her..
crazy eh??
tell me about it~!!! and to that i'm very sure... there r some guys who knew exactly what i'm trying to say.... i'm very sure
half of it
even if u were million miles away
i could still feel u
near me, feel me
and even at the bottom of the sea
i could still hear u inside my head
telling me, whisper to me
lonely me, own me, nobody ever shit it down like u
u wore the crown
make me feel heaven hound
i thought u said it's our world to sound
u came crashing in
like the realest thing
trying my best to understand
its everything a man can bring
i was made to believe i'd never had anybody else
made a plan, stay the man who can only have himself
till the day u came and showing me the way
i could still feel u
near me, feel me
and even at the bottom of the sea
i could still hear u inside my head
telling me, whisper to me
lonely me, own me, nobody ever shit it down like u
u wore the crown
make me feel heaven hound
i thought u said it's our world to sound
u came crashing in
like the realest thing
trying my best to understand
its everything a man can bring
i was made to believe i'd never had anybody else
made a plan, stay the man who can only have himself
till the day u came and showing me the way
Sunday, August 1, 2010
touch the sky
everytime we touch i get this feeling
everytime we kiss, i swear i could fly
can't u feel my heart beat fast, i want this to last
the static makes me touch the sky
everytime we kiss, i swear i could fly
can't u feel my heart beat fast, i want this to last
the static makes me touch the sky
dream
i had a dreadful dream.... i dream that my father past away
for some faithful reader who ever read my blog... u must have read about me dreaming of my mom passing away before
whats with all the passing away i told myself... it's absurd and crazy
the feeling is horrible... plus what i had experience the night before... at first i thought i have awake from the horrible dream of seeing my dad past away... little i knew... the reality is not any better...
it's not
for some faithful reader who ever read my blog... u must have read about me dreaming of my mom passing away before
whats with all the passing away i told myself... it's absurd and crazy
the feeling is horrible... plus what i had experience the night before... at first i thought i have awake from the horrible dream of seeing my dad past away... little i knew... the reality is not any better...
it's not
sushi boy
dear sushi zai,
it's 5.20am now.. grasping with much tears... i can't even fall asleep...
many said as well u too sushi zai, thought i'm much stronger that this... little that many people knew... that's my alter ego that i'm portraying... i'm very much a weak and insecure individual on the inside... i just can't wear that face during working hours...
mommy always have hold u when she is in the car... all the time without fail.... and i think u will be very lonely for quite some time... i'm sorry...
i have never want or wish this to happen... trust me on this... i don't
i'mvery much as devastated as u r...
u were chosen by both of us... with much glee and laugther... we brought u home..
i meet a guy earlier today who just broke up with his 6 year long girlfriend... he was devastated... i understand how he feels... but thats only that much we can do...
shall i be the one for u??
there's many many reason for a person to shed a tears or two... and also many many reason to be sad... but back to basic... nothing is comparable of everytime she walks away... u know how building were collapsing in 2012?? it's worst... my life literally crumble
i barely have the energy nor motivation to do anything...
many said time will heal it all... seriously... don't believe this shit because i have been through this... not once but many times..
she once praise u little sushi zai having cute feet... i hope u will get that compliment very soon in the future... i don't know when
but to u sushi zai i vow to make it happen.... i don know when nor do i know if it will work... i don't even dare to think about the possibility...
right now u're the one that will company me to sleep and listen to all my stories...
sorry
i know u miss her hug... when situation got worsen... dont worry.... i very much assure u will be in her arms rather than mine... just asked how warm capuchino felt...
u dont have to remind me how bad it felt... and u can yell as well as scold me for losing mommy as bad as u want.... i really don't mean to make this happen.. i really don't
there's this quote...
what is more resiliant?? virus?? bacteria?? an idea many said... as u couldn't kill an idea... while others said it's values....
to me it's memory... the feeling that can't be erase... i went by so many places that we have once been before... and each time i past by those places i drop a tear or two... it's seriously that bad
3 years does not come and go that easily.... we literally build something with our hand.... and unfortunately this thing that we build can't be destroy... just like that
give me the strength lord for i am always your child...please lord.. i need the strength... and sushi zai... please give me that extra strength too...
be good for now sushi zai.. and to capuchino.... i miss u so damn much.... like so damn much.....
it's 5.20am now.. grasping with much tears... i can't even fall asleep...
many said as well u too sushi zai, thought i'm much stronger that this... little that many people knew... that's my alter ego that i'm portraying... i'm very much a weak and insecure individual on the inside... i just can't wear that face during working hours...
mommy always have hold u when she is in the car... all the time without fail.... and i think u will be very lonely for quite some time... i'm sorry...
i have never want or wish this to happen... trust me on this... i don't
i'mvery much as devastated as u r...
u were chosen by both of us... with much glee and laugther... we brought u home..
i meet a guy earlier today who just broke up with his 6 year long girlfriend... he was devastated... i understand how he feels... but thats only that much we can do...
shall i be the one for u??
there's many many reason for a person to shed a tears or two... and also many many reason to be sad... but back to basic... nothing is comparable of everytime she walks away... u know how building were collapsing in 2012?? it's worst... my life literally crumble
i barely have the energy nor motivation to do anything...
many said time will heal it all... seriously... don't believe this shit because i have been through this... not once but many times..
she once praise u little sushi zai having cute feet... i hope u will get that compliment very soon in the future... i don't know when
but to u sushi zai i vow to make it happen.... i don know when nor do i know if it will work... i don't even dare to think about the possibility...
right now u're the one that will company me to sleep and listen to all my stories...
sorry
i know u miss her hug... when situation got worsen... dont worry.... i very much assure u will be in her arms rather than mine... just asked how warm capuchino felt...
u dont have to remind me how bad it felt... and u can yell as well as scold me for losing mommy as bad as u want.... i really don't mean to make this happen.. i really don't
there's this quote...
what is more resiliant?? virus?? bacteria?? an idea many said... as u couldn't kill an idea... while others said it's values....
to me it's memory... the feeling that can't be erase... i went by so many places that we have once been before... and each time i past by those places i drop a tear or two... it's seriously that bad
3 years does not come and go that easily.... we literally build something with our hand.... and unfortunately this thing that we build can't be destroy... just like that
give me the strength lord for i am always your child...please lord.. i need the strength... and sushi zai... please give me that extra strength too...
be good for now sushi zai.. and to capuchino.... i miss u so damn much.... like so damn much.....
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