August 27

oh... i have this in me i would really like to share it

i receive some interesting feedback yesterday... one that irk me...

i was criticise to the fact i'm not a capable person..

u c.. I for it all... pay for my own tuition fees for the last three education years in canada.. i work my ass off for scholarships and also work part time to get such fund.... on top of that.. i self fund my MBA and my own company... although i wreck my car, but i was paying 850 every month...

call me proud but if u r not near to paying this all by yourself... to what extend can u question my abiity??

i drive a crappy car and can't live a luxury life?? bring me a 25 year old who did what i did without parents help and live a luxury life... then i'll shut my mouth..

u question my ability.. y don't u question, y not many ppl can do what i do... seriously... no, no.. like seriously... what is with all this questioning?? so many ppl out there u don't question nor do u critic but u say it to my face??

u can clarify, u can ask... but what in the world is all the critic about??

calling me cocky and proud.. thats because i know what i have done... champion can be proud.. loser can't... i'm not a champion myself but i don't think what i did is anywhere near to the loser's title...

august 25

i received an email today.. an interesting email by an interesting professor...

ok.. here goes... he email us praising some but gives out negative comment a lot.. ok, we shall take criticism and feedback as a way to improve... but it's not like u r giving us our assignment paper back... how much can your criticism helps?? stating we do not hand in our assignment like any other masters do... we should study and work like how a master student should be...

seriously... i couldn't agree more... no offense but i feel education standard in malaysia is weak... let's take my master for example... which is by the way recognize by malaysia goverment... i feel my assignment although tough.. it's not master level tough... it feels like a second year university to me... like come on, what master's assignment can be done a day before hand out and still get a 68?? it should be much lower to be frank...

anyway... i'm another step closer of achieving my dream... i'm cooperating with a friend of mine to open a tutoring centre... revolving around my initial idea, i'm very sure it can do well... i have always wanted a tutoring centre and now i have my chance... oh, i'm so jumping with joy...

with the aesthetical industry in a hand and tutoring centre at another... i'm close on doing what i always wanted to do... now left one which i hope i can open my very own restaurant in the near future... just by thinking of this makes me excited...

:)

then it'll just be branching out...

while getting notes from a friend today, we sat to study and talked for a good 5 hours...

among the topic that we talked is about business... he gave me insight regarding forex.. i now gain lot more from what he say however i don think it's time for me to dip myself into the shares or forex just yet.... we continue our conversation...

we shared ideas, lots of ideas....

i always think an employee r always at the losing end... why i say so... to be honest, do u feel 3,000 a month do not yield u any saving because things r so expensive... put in savings or FD is making your money losing it's value.. at least an investment in property either grow your money or keep your money value...

i realize that malaysia is actually a very good hub or platform to earn money... it's just how we go by around it...

all in all earning money is 1 thing... what is all the money in the world without personality and love ones... there's no such thing as financial freedom in the world... but rather being in a really comfortable stage...

i am a very ambitious individual... i find that life lose its meaning if u don have goals...

i used to read this article back in the university... this is what it says, have goals in life, if u look back at your life and realize u did not achieve any goals, u might as well not live because u have just undergo a ride of failure....

some ppl say don look at how far more u have to go rather look how far u have come... each individual is a success in its own way... i coudn't agree more but truely... is that it??

some ppl say... at least u completed university and have a degree while some say at least u have a good job... so getting degree is the best achievement?? it's not even a doctorate.. life is more than just living it... u really need to live it

unfortunately in this society, to truly live life, u need some greens... as say, no money no talk...

next year i will be 26.. my family is slowly passing the whole baton to me.. with me also building my own family.... i truly feel the tension that is breathing under my neck..

more to go, more to learn.... till then....

yFF

I called ity seoul speshow, although i somehow changed the name to dolce seoul.. anyway... i wanted to make a small statement here

as of current, i'm playing this yahoo fantasy football.. nervous weekend for me.. for days some ppl have been giving me suggestion and i'm proud to say.. with rooney and givet.. I told u so~!!

and yea.. with 1.33 for myhill.. by far one hell of a bargain.. and oh, yea this blogspot so called written by an expert.. my oh my, where r u?? u have a great insight.. but not exception.. i don think u know how to value players and their form... u never seems to mention anything about home or away... the only mistake i make was with arshavin...

anyway.. as spetember nears... so is my exam... fuh~~ i'm sweating and is getting really nervous... i haven't have the time to really study it.. i want to get over this MBA so much.. the stress is taking its toll.. fuh~~

TBE have decided to take in an additional 13 units to boost itself as a major player in the beauty industry... i can't wait.. things seems to be picking up and going well.. i'm more than happy with its current state.. but because it's a B to B industry, it can only grow that big.. however, i'm more thab happy with the platform that i have created and build with my own hands... looking back at what TBE have achieved... i can't help but smile and give myself a high five...

Usain bolt says he is not too into breaking world records but rather interested in becoming a legend...

I had a discussion with my dad today and he said that he hope i can take over his business when time comes one day... I knew i would take over one day but i don't c that day come any sooner... i'm more content into building my own empire for i really want to have a taste of what building career means...

i know what job means, which is not something i want... taking over as a 2nd generation is also not something i want too.... i want my own legacy, my own company with my own vission, a company name which i came up myself....

well i'm happy TBE it's up there with the greats as of now and not at the lower end..

nothing much special or interesting happen today... except for the upcoming exam... oh crap.. speaking of it giving me the stress again... i better go study now.. it's expensive studying this MBA... i'm not allowing the money to go down the drain....

till then.. hola..

TBE birthday

just a mere few weeks ago, troubles seems to be meeting with its old friend.. MR.TBE

from shipment, to exclusivity to pricing to many more... a constant troubleshoot.. such trouble finally clear off.. i'm jumping up and down with glee now... :D

This will be one of the first few times where by my company will stock up... from beds to accessories to equipments.. oh, i'm so happy as of this moment.. our office will filled itself up to 20 pieces of equipment.

Today is TBE's birthday... August 20th

to strive forward in hitting our target... i strongly believe we're here to stay. this is my platform and a career i'm enjoying.

Happy birthday TBE~!

august 20

was shot down by sickness as of late... with fever bringing its friends along... crap~

i read my previous blogs... laughed along the way too.. there's a lot of sad story... lol.. i should start to write some happy stories

but sometimes... humans r funny.. now why would i say it's funny.. when u start to write something happy... some ppl might mistaken that u r cocky or that u r trying to show off...

i always believe.. u cannot change ones perception over u... some ppl might think of u as someone else while others might think otherwise.. what is real... to be honest... only u yourself know.. only your significant others know...

nobody think i can make it when i started with my TBE.. many feel it is too early, too soon... when i start to have vission and ambition to make it bigger.. people says it's too ambitious and that i don't have the time... to be honest, i don even know why at times i bother with all these thoughts.. like come on.. u don't even know what's going on, i understand your kindness to share your opinion but i have a firmer ground on my own ability and what i'm doing...

august 15 was a special day to me.. through august 15 to august 19.. apart from breakfast, we only share a movie and a dinner. ok, maybe it's a little demanding...

anyway, i have this rant i really want to rant it out...

say whatever u want but i am PROUD of what i'm doing and what i have done.. it irritates me when people act like piece of hot shot when they r not.. i don think i am an experience know it all SOB nor am i any super smart doctor.. but i don't think what i have gone through is that common... so for hotshot wanna be that want to throw words at me.. "know your role, and shut your mouth" talk when u have gone through half of what i have gone through...

talking smack, talking crap.. thats my rant..

due to what i have gone through i have my views on certain things... many do not agree on what i do but thats because u have not gone through what i have gone through... i seriously sometimes don't know what some people do the things they do too.. because not only i don't know what u have gone through but i don't know whats going on....

people like to judge me.. but when i jduge someone i'm consider an ass... i'm an open individual and is open on opion as well as feedback thrown at me.. if u can throw it at me, then take it when i throw it back at u...

unless u r dolce... yes, i'm bias but thats a different case all together

anyway... i have a small chat with a friend today... he talks about ethics on business... to sell things at a reasonable price, to give excellent service... i disagree.. yes, integrity is important in business but u don sell things because u think the price is reasonable.. u sell base on how much u can sell.. u think a honda civic selling at over 120K is reasonable?? that a house pricing at over 1 mil is reasonable?? that those facial product u r buying r reasonable?? do u even know their cost??

they sell base on how much they can sell... so again.. u judge me because of the pricing i'm selling?? what?? u must have bang your head hard on the wall..

i have a morning talk with a person today.. she told me.. u r a weird guy... u don't do what common guys do.. u don't like to talk about cars, u don't like computers nor do u like soccer... u don't like to read playboy magazine.. instead u like to think of business or play scrabble at home...

i know it's a little out of ordinary... sometimes maybe i only see it from my view that i fail to c it from others view but unless u explain to me, i will never really c it from a different view... it's possible i will try to stand on different ground but it takes time...

my opinion might come in as harsh but it's all because i have no understanding on why such event occur... i don get offended easily but it's best if something can be explain with total logic... answer such as because everyone is doing it is plain silly..

my rant for tonight... a night which is hard to sleep...

a short article

let's take the rocket and fly to the moon
where there's only both of us
let's stay so till it gets old
even when the sky falls, it's always only a small matter
when it's cold and wet outside, a glimpse of u seems like the sun finally came
everything seems fresh
so let willing to do crazy thing for u this life
but if one day i lose u
flower will stop to bloom
dusk and dawn will no longer the same
and life will all but like act in front of dummy and dolls

august 14

your presence still linger here, not leaving me alone
this pain too real, and there's too much that time cannot erase
i'm bound by the life u left behind
your face haunt my once pleasant dream
chasing sanity in me
following me like my childish fear

blog

blog were flooded with my inputs when u're not here.... blog were left abandon when u r here.. all this because i enjoy spending time with u and share my things with u and not the blog...

this is a disaster

i always hope u did not mess up the trick
some say we move too quick
and easily hit the brick
with u, is simple all it takes

my immortal

u're my immortal......

funny factor

i came across this article which i think is very interesting...

funny vs looks
winner: funny. hanging out with a cute looking adonis might be fun for the night but it's the average looking jokester who can hook the ladies for much longer

funny vs ambition
winner: ambition. tha bility to crack a jokes doesn't erase the need for the girl to imagine a life with u. and life without goals or ambition is not a life she wants to be part of.

funny vs wealth
winner: funny. There's always women out there who is looking for sme rich dude but there is also masses of independent women out there who hope for a guy to make them laugh in good times or bad times. Which worth more than a guy who is buying her happiness.

funny vs intellegence
winner: Tie. intellegence win her respect while humour win her heart.

funny vs maturity
winner: maturity. nobody likes a dude who crack jokes at the wrong time and at the wrong thing.

funny vs confidence
winner: Tie. Nobody likes a funny but no confidence man nor confidence but not funny man. Both is needed.

who say being prince charming is an overnight thing and easy thing to do.. i however believe.. it can be done...

POC

the story goes on... when happy meet happy.. it will always be happy, when sadness meet sadness.. it will always be sadness...

but what happen when happy meet sadness?? then it's either happy enter sadness world and be sad or sadness enter happy world and be happy

this apply to real life but unfortunately... nobody know who is the sadness and who is the happy... everyone think they r in the happy world...

ppl tend to be selfish at lots of time... sometimes, there r things that were done which can't be undone..

when a couple go different way... everytime when they meet back up... definetely there's going to be one which feel bad... it's either the guy or the girl... but one bound to feel bad..

problems came knocking on my door as of late... it keeps knocking and forcing itself to come in... but this is life... u will then get satisfaction by solving the problem... imagine if there's no problem.... how dull and boring life will be... life is a constant troubleshooting.. each have their own definition of paradise...

i have wanted to upload a song to be shared with many... very unfortunately, blogspot don't support mp3.. or maybe i m lacking knowledge in this field... technology or IT is never my thing...

let me reserve myself today.....

Haha.. this crap always happen to me and makes me feel down and lack of confidence... i may came by strong and confidence... with many times often show determination as well as strength to overcome adversity.. deep down, i'm also a human who also need some understanding and some care....

yes... we may have arguments here and there but she is always the one that acknowledge when i am in distress... always a shoulder for me to put my head on... being independent and strong is always a good thing... but there r nights or times when u need that shoulder...

many will say, there's always one outside... friends r there too...

i have always say.. when i wake up i c darkness in the world, but i also c beauty left in u girl.. and u let me know that everything is going to be alright, enough right up to the end of time...

i know there r things which can be replace, substitute...

a friend called and talk to me yesterday... he asked if everything is alright... i did not say much... he told me about his ex... how when they break up he go to bars almost everynight... it took him so long to get over her... he finally did, and along the way he meet someone... which he say makes him so happy....

the girl which broke up with him went on to get married....

he told me... "i agree that u say dating have to use heart and not brain... there's no logic, fairness nor conditioning... u will just know if she is the right one or not"

of course i will stand back up... stupid ass problem is not the thing that will bring me down to my knees... i've learn taking bitter pill the hard way... oh trust me, it's hard to swallow.. but it's ok.. if life give u lemon, u make lemonade out of it...

now.. if life give u -54 degree celcius... winter never going to be forever.. spring will come.. but for every fun summer, comes beautiful fall which lead to cold dark winter.. everything is a cycle.. there's up and down in everything... fittest survive the winter...

i clearly know what i want, what work means and what relationship means..

if it is to be, it's up to me.. bring the shit in.. piece of crap~!

august 13

i watch back a drama series that i have brought a year ago.... watching it back making me think and remember a lot of things

as i was watching it... i receive an unexpected call.. asking me how am i doing...

i know.. we're diff... the drama shows me a lot of things that i have forgot....

silent

what can i say more...

story

let me share a very sweet story to all...

Boy after goverment test UPSR were place in an unfamiliar school with lots of unfamiliar face. Boy was lucky enough to place in a class together with one of his good buddy from primary school. The first sight he got into the class, a young lady was sitting few tables away. She caught his eye.

The boy always wanted to talk to her but never knew how. He was shy. He want to get her attention but knew, he was nobody. Their first conversation took place when she said to him while he is passing books around the class "oh, u know my name?"

boy thought to himself.. OMG~!! wow~!! she talked to me?? inside he is jumping with glee but boy acted cool and walked away...

time goes by, years go by.. he keep this little secret crush with him.. nobody knew

by third year.. boy thought to himself, let's make girl remember him. He began doing over the top stunts.. trying his best to pull her attention.. it works in a way but thats all the boy got.. a mere attention.. boy still don dare to approach..

years go by... it's now the final year of the school... boy knew he is going overseas to further studies... he wanted to tell her so much how he feel but he never took the chance... he flew 23 hours away with regret in him...

all he had with him bringing to a lonely yet cold country is a picture of her.. boy pin the picture beside his computer... boy regret he did not tell her that he really really like her...

years past by......time flew and both boy and girl undertake their own life...

5 years later, they meet up.. both were attached.. few months down the road... when both relationship on the road, boy asked girl out for a drink and invited her for a one day out of city trip...

10 years of holding back, boy finally told girl how he felt for her... girl was not convince.. boy try his best and spark finally flew at april 15th.. april 20th came and it's one birthday, birthday boy wouldn't forget because he finally able to have his birthday celebrated with his highschool sweetheart. he never did previously.

along the road, they have few arguments here and there but there's also countless of sweet memories... with the taiping trip an unforgetabble one... paddling boat under the rain... 2 years past.. their argument heated up and were seperated for a while... boy tried his very best to get her back... he did...

may 1st became the special date for both of them... boy still remember how they hold hands and joke about silly things... where she likes to sit so that she can put her legs, what drinks she likes, which movie she prefer, what job she is looking for, what is her dilemma, what is her ideal vacation, why she is angry, what is her values and how she want things done.

despite knowing it all, boy sometimes tend to make mistake which make girl mad at him. eric lofholm once said "it was not only a lover but always a tender highschool sweetheart for love did not just develop overnight"

throughout it all.. boy enjoy his time being with girl... his dare to dream that finally came true...

many have laugh and many more will laugh, lot will hate and lot more will judge... what is a relationship if there is not something historical and special... sometimes, when u r in my shoes.. u will began to see things from a different view..

sorry baby

I found this interesting story

One day, after school exam, the girl called the boyfriend.
"baby, i got off early today, are u free to pick me home now?"
"sure baby, give me 5 mins"

it was 2 in the afternoon, the sun was raging hot. 5 mins gone. she looked at the watch. 10 mins gone. he did not show up yet. she started to worry.
After 15 mins, he finally came and she asked, "what took u so long?". he took it frivolously and answered "well, i was watching TV..." the girlfriend was quite angry. He knew and he said "I'm sorry.". He is a self importance and high egotism guy. He never said sorry and it was the first apology he made to the girlfriend. She looked at him and forgave him. He is the type of person that never expain, never argue, and would never want to have a fight with his girlfriend. As long as he said sorry, she would actually forgive him. He would only apologize to his girlfriend, the one and only one.

She blamed him for not changing his attitude and never changed or improved even though he admitted his faults. she was upset. she thinks that the boyfriend was using the apologies for sheltering himself. After 59 times of apologies, she finally dropped her tears and told him "please stop telling me that u're sorry if u're not intended to change. plz stop making me believe that u would actually change." he was guilty, he hugged her tight and said "i'm sorry" for the 60th times

after a period. the girlfriend started to distrust him
"what happen to u lately?" the girl asked in the phone
"nothing happened?"
"then why u behaved like this?"
"i said nothing happened"
"do u know that i'm feeling very insecure and that i'm so worried about u.. do u really care about me??" the girl started to cry
the boyfriend silent for second and told her "i'm sorry"
"i don't want to hear sorry anymore" she hanged up
He never called back, the girl thinks he doesn't care about her. That was his 99th sorry..

they both never contacted ever since that day. Sometimes she received some silent calls. she knew it was him.
After a month, as she was passing by his office she decided to look for him. The office colleagues told her that he has quit the job a month ago. The girl called his mobile but only left with voicemail. She started worried about him. She called the house phone, but no one ever picked up. She dropped by to his house but no one was there. She assumed that he has shifted somewhere else to work or maybe family trip or perhaps he has a new girlfriend and moved to somewhere else.

while she is thinking all the possibilities, her cellphone rang. It was from the boyfriend's mother
"he has been admitted to the hospital"
the girl was shock
"he wanted to see u" said the mother

she took the cab to the hospital, she was panicked and she has no clue about what happen. she ran to his room, she saw him laying down without much movement. The boyfriend was making eye-contact and look at her.
She started asking him "what is happening? why didn't u call me?"
he didn't answer, he just stared at her
He dropped a tear and said "i'm sorry" closed his eyes thereafter

"plz don't pretend. why sorry? i don't want sorry. please wake up"
"i'm not going to forgive u, please wake up. i beg u, wake up.. what happen"
that was is 100th sorry

the nurses and doctor pull her away. she was totally blanked. He never left her, just that she not able to touch him. Sometimes she dreams of him telling her how he has been doing. He is always with her, in her mind, in her heart, she is still thinking of him. calling her baby most of the times.

A few months later, the boyfriend mother gave her a box. there are 100 pieces of photographs inside the box. At the back of each phot marked the word sorry with a story

1st sorry-baby, i didn't mean to be late today. I know this is the lame reason on watching TV but i got a heartache before i tried to come for u. I couldn't move. I tried my best. forgive me please.
2nd sorry- baby, I...
3rd sorry- baby, I...
100th sorry- baby, I didn't mean to leave u behind, just that god did not give me a chance to take care of you, to put the ring on your finger. U r the first girl that i've ever say sorry, and u r also the person i would like to spend my life with. Forgive me as i couldn't bring u the happiness. Don't cry, i don't wish to see u cry. I love u

the last phot was taken in the hospital with him at his best smile

smiley face

had an interesting if not great breakfast... had a pretty good laugh with new friends... Haha... sometimes mix with students make me feel i'm getting old.. lol

it use to be i'm the younget sin a group.. now i'm like the eldest... a guy even refer me as to gor gor... oh lol...

Man united say life will still be great without C.ron and also tevez... they r hard to replace but no player is bigger than a football club...

u have shared a lot of vey sweet words to me... how i hope those sweet words can be written down in a letter, just so i can save them up...

there's no candle around
i don foresee that darkness can be so cold
no time to be remembered, i might as well get busy with work
i decide to write those love letter back to myself
i wrap this gift and send it back to myself for remembrance
once its all been substitute
day will not be the same
the way dawn is view will be different
to fall for someone is a free fall willing
people will tend to be selfish at times
let this be my strength

i have seen couple who dated for a very very long time
in the end they break up.. and the guy went off to date someone else.. they got married in less than a year
could it be any heartbreaking for the girl??
i think so but then.. different is just different...
she is doing all good now...
strong lady

:)

a smiley to myself to brigthen up my day because i knew..
to be great u first need to think great

butterfly

it's always cause and effect.. for everything that u r doing... there's a cause to it

i don't want to know and things for u to keep...

it's true, it's lie...

for better for worse...

to fly or to land...

to crush or to kill

i vow at this moment i will grab success by its neck... u r my 1 dare to dream that show dream do come true... u show that nothing is impossible and let me live my high school sweetheart dream... april 15, may first... what is all the years compare to a week of argument..

do u know what u r doing at this moment show to me... u definetely live up to your name

journey is hard but i believe every bitterness always end with sweetness... sometimes u have to go through a bit of hell before u reach heaven.. life is never rainbow and butteflies..

well... unless he own an orchard full with butterflies... then again... i wish the Mr.butterflly all the success in the world... u better have an acre of butterfly farm else u will be feeding your family with nectar.. yea.. your beautifull army of butterflies collecting nectar for u... must have taste horrible.. everyday eat same shit of nectar...

short story

have not really taste it
we r now standing here, looking at what warmth means
this time i resolutely face uninhibitive obsession
whether this being right or wrong
even if i fall deep
even if i grasp on to uncertainty
don tell me what i should do
that i should open my eyes
u r not me
how can u understand
even if i grasp on to uncertainty
let me hold on to it with no regret
i am not as perfect as u may think
sometimes i also can't distinguish right or wrong
it's not that i don't want to walk out of uncertainty
but only this time
this time it's myself and no one else
whose heart should i use to realize
to truly upon my surroundings
it's something that accompany me going in circle everyday
that entanglement
how can it be short
tea not yet finished already turn sour
unable to say
the tenderness was close yet never touching
loitering between something that resemble bitterness and sweetness
love or sentiment borrowed to fill a night
hesitating between something
togetherness and departure
it's like viscious yet diluted
what is keeping what warm
how could i treat them as an ordinary thing
i have never listened to the sound
of fondling flower petals by your thumb
it was our embrace to last forever
the stars won't change
the lies won't discovered
i cherish it all
i close my eyes and admit to the story
nothing matters
we have never admired a view in freezing weather
nor have we scaled a snow-capped mountain
but i know the sky will continue to be sunny

encouraging

i read this article at someone's wall.. i find it really meaningful and would really want to share it out. it is a very encouraging piece of work... i think she is trying to encourage someone... without a doubt.. i think it works

Don't spend major time with minor people.
If there are people in your life who continually disappoint you, break promises, stomp on your dreams, are too judgmental, have different values and don't have your back during difficult times...that is not friendship.

To have a friend, be a friend.
Sometimes in life as you grow, your friends will either grow or go. Surround yourself with people who reflect values, goals interests and lifestyles.

Over the years my phone book has changed because I changed, for the better.
At first, you think you're going to be alone, but after awhile, new people show up in your life that make it so much sweeter and easier to endure.

Remember what your elders used to say,
"Birds of a feather flock together.
If you're an eagle, don't hang around chickens:
Chickens can't fly!"

character

winnipeg's -54 degree celcius cannot even campare to your cold~!!

letting me stay in this state.... bring it on~!!!!

一個人欣賞悲哀

rain fall continuously
why the flower have not bloom yet
despite my careful watering
u say u no longer love means its no longer there
i watched and appreciate the sorrow alone
love is left with only helplessness
i keep refusing to guess
white emptiness will always fill the gap between the black keys of the piano
missing a piece
it can never be exciting
how can two hearts that rely on one another to say goodbye
u know better that i do, yet u still want to say it
loving deeply can make people crazily courageous
i betray myself to reach your expectation
letting go, not asking anything and say goodbye
let it be the last indulgence i give u
coldly, drearily, mildly
who can i still ask to
before u close the door look back again for me
to see if our song are still playing

crap!!

life is hard, i knew that
it's also unfair, i also knew that

crap is enough and time to be great...
i have seen enough and have experience myself too

i take this as strength as a step to do greater things..

turn your back on me
i have god by my side

for bringing me such disaster feeling, i have this little note for life itself
I'll bring u a stroll to the smackdown lane itself~!!
oh don't worry, i'm not going to put my fist in your mouth
i have something better
u c these boots?? yea.. it's not meant for walking
i'm kicking it so hard, it'll go straight up your stupid ass~!!

it's all well

aspiration loitering crossroads
do not know which side to go
road of confidence continuosly looking down
counting tones under my feet
the sun is a bit too scintillating
the air is not too fresh come to think of it
hesistate and not advancing
tears flow beautifully
weaving goodbye to myself
deceitfully showing a smiley face
rationalization is not enough to convince myself
to decide and to desire
it cannot satisfy emptiness
ordains and doctrines hold no meaning
three hearts two wishes is captivating
curiousity floats around
nobody seems to care
everything seems to unsure
to where it is leading
as the music dies,
what is said in our eyes
seems like sad goodbye
to its easy to pretend
life will lose its rhythm

face

your breath seems so near to me
the spread of your curves
the everchanging shoreline
sprouting the most beautiful daffodils

i didn't expect it to be so treacherous
i couldn't go on
yet i want to continue on my dangerous journey

it would be best if nobody understand what i say
yet u're the one that understand my thought
u gave a serious expression on your face
i didn't say anything

the moist bead of sweats form more than a trickle
did u just encouter a rainy weather?

the way u look at me
it seems like a year to me
it's been a while

smoking yet abstract eye
the unfaltering rain
make me lose my sleep

every bit of sediment accumulate in my wrinkle
show in the expression

quote of the day

"the universe is the illusion that sustains all reality"

a deep yet meaningful quote that i stumble upon...

judging

speaking of judging people, here is an interesting tidbit i once read

Q1:
If u knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would u recommend that she have an abortion?

Q2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three candidates

Candidate A
Associates with crokked politician, and consult with astrologist. He had two mistress. A chain smoker and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day

Candidate B
He was kicked out of the office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C
He is a decorated war hero. A vegetarian that doesn't smoke, drink an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.

Which of these candidate would be your choice??

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.
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Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt
Candidate B is Winston Churchill
Candidate C is Adolph hitler

and by the way, on your answer to the abortion question. If u say Yes, u just killed Beethoven

Pretty interesting isn't it? makes a person think before judging someone.

boyish jewel

it start with boyish_jewel and end with despair23, it's easy to be say then done... it's easy to think than done...

oh look... there it goes... gone too soon

august 10

a cockroach visited my room tonight... i wanted to kill it but unfortunately.. it get out from my room.... a while later i heard scream coming from my sis... apparently she found the roach in the middle of the room.... of course she manage to kill it before i went down...

something interesting then happen...

she start saying... why did u let the roach go to the living room... firstly, is it my fault that the insect go to the living room?? secondly, i don breed insects so what is the finger pointing?? thirdly, come on.. i don control where insects come and go...

somehow i wonder... who taught all this jump to conclusion thing...

is that an even valid reason?

i had an interesting conversation with a dentist today while doing this facial demo for her... we had a few good laugh and exchange topics... for a moment there... i feel happy... interesting ideas were exchange... she just finished her master in dentistry at london...

she mention, why do i look so serious... i always seem to get this a lot... every salon that i have my promotion with, i'm always the one that is label as the serious one... of course my partner in crime however always being label as the smooth talker, the laughing one

i don think there's wrong to my doing... i enjoy being serious at work...

anyway as go on, the dentist give me a compliment that give me a smirk to my face.... i'm happy for a moment that i'm recognize for what i have achieved

to be honest.. i'm proud owner of TBE and what i have achieve... i have spread my wings as of now and is expanding my form of businesses... my father have officially asked me to assist him on his furniture business, i have yet to answer him as i have other things running as of now... i have always wanted a tutoring centre and is being offered a partnership deal from a friend of mine.. :)

many books said, have 1 traditional business but keep your passive income running in order to expand your wealth..

little women?? come on.. a little women that trap under the well?? let me share my view

have u ever c a successful business man's wife a little women?? there's always a strong lady behind a successful man.. if not strong but is at least independent or knowledgable.. u watch too many drama.... old times drama... watch some modern drama.... little women that stay home and wait for man come back... i need someone who have a life...

story behind

a hectic roadshow but a satisfying return...

while doing roadshow today i receive a rather interesting comment... i understand the person's intention.. i really do

but this is where the funny part start... i know everyone like to judge people and that u also have your right to judge... now this is where the funny part is... u judge me at my face but when asked for validity for a premise to back your statement up... u fail to do so..

come on... u don speak for the sake of speaking... speak for a reason...

now.. i respect what u know and what u have heard... but to judge me when u don't really know me... especially right at my face without any validity.. that's really funny

i don know how u analyze situation... but if someone tell u an elephant can fly and u jump to the conclusion that an elephant can fly without justifying the statement... then u definetely r doing this the funny way

u tell me u don't want to get involve... oh come on... by asking question and throwing back answers, u're already involve.. what makes u think just by asking and giving your opinion doesn't make u involve??

she told me... that i need a little women that wait for me at home.... seriously, do u even have a reason why u say so? but lets say i give u the benefit of doubt by saying u said so because thats what u saw... then i can tell u, u r wrong... i believe in independent woment not little women

u tell me i'm not a 9 to 5 job type of guy... so what am i?? do u know my working time and schedule to even come out with that statement?? no, no.. seriously.. do u even know my working time?? there's only a few person who know about my working time and u r definetely not the one... there's only a few person who know me and understand what i'm doing, unfortunately u r not the one.....

u tell me to not voice out my opinion too much... again i understand your intention... but i'm not those type of person... if what i say collide with your understand then forgive me and i hereby appologize... but why everyone r voicing their opinion and i have to keep mine to myself?? u r voicing yours...

ok, so my silly opinion got laugh at or hate at... but again, i seriously welcome your thoughts too... just don say things for the sake of saying... clarify it...

i don expect to be understand... every person have different personality...

so today is my stressful day... it has been hard and tough... sometimes unless u r in my shoes, u definetely won't see the things i see... i don expect u to c it either..

we all have different college life, career life and also love life..

when u have only 10 dollar to spend for an entire week, that is when u realize how important money is
when u got frame to the point u have to go to jail, that is when u realize what real friends means
when u fail and c friend continue but u can't, that is when u realize what work hard means
when u c someone u like with someone else, that is when u realize what heartbreak means
when u don't understand something, that is when u ask and clarify means
when u c your dad cry in front of u, that is when u realize how important u r
when u have a car crash and the only one thing that came through your mind, that is when u realize thats the thing u want most in your life
when u have to go through food bank or home shelter support, thats when u realize what low life and ride high means

every ppl have walk in their life, i don expect u to c what i have c... u can laugh and hate.. i have been through worse..

1 dot too many

i've been through hell and touch heaven before... all and all.. even heaven is hell without u.....

ice caramel

ice caramel..... has always been sweet and lovely...

shattered

it kills and shattered to be where i am at the moment

where is the angelic face and heaven like voice... i miss the hug and care that was once showered...

where is the cute face when we c each other at the webcam...

i can't do this.......

heaven

u just like to see the bad things, the negativity that i have done or say but u never c the beautiful things that i have done or say....

where is the angelic voice that u have all along.... u r always the heaven to me....

it's one two three four

it's nothing new nor special

i'm reduce to tears at this moment... seems like i'm always at the crying end... sound weak

i always... always thought what we shared r special... i recall your sms and what u have told me... i really thought it was special.. it even include the 3 special words...

how naive when it rings nothing.... u told me u r sad that u're hurt.... did u know i have to cry to sleep because of what happen?? just because i did not say or i seems ok.. doesn't mean i am.... u always say u mean nothing... but do u know everytime u say that... how u hurt me with those words?? of course u don't because u thought i can handle it... i'm a guy and i have to handle this~!!

u say i'm unfair and that everytime u have to endure it yourself... how about me?? when i listen to things i don like, c the things i don like, do i not have to solve it myself?? when u have things to do, when u have people u need to meet... to talk to... even i don't like.. do i not have to endure myself

what i do have to be fair to u but what u do i can't do.... don't speak about fair.... u always seem like the victim..... i'm never good enough for u..... think about my side?? then why things i don like still happen?? telling me not to bang things when u bang things too... i already say... u can do something i cannot do...

u took it.. break it then u tell me it's worthless...

i dream about u day and night.. but how can u be so stone cold to me..... u say i got no trust that my words means nothing that i'm no longer special....

u can sell alcohol or u can sell car, u can inherit business from your family or be like some sort of hot shot.. i know at least i build my business with my own hand and that i earn my degree hard... i know it means nothing to u... but i know pound to pound... i wont lose to your so call hot shot..

movie

u told me.. it's always about who u watch it regards of the movie...

it's a hard to understand concept when it says... going out of the way to watch movie i like...

hard to understand does not mean i don want to understand.. because i knew life is hard..

education prepare us to solve problem... question for clarity...

register

i've register myself inthe yahoo football fantasy match... i have not played it for a near 3 years and is now trying my hand at it again.... it would be interesting to c how i fare this time around...

i cant wait for the season to start on august 15.

i named it seoul speshow..

yea.. i cant think of a better name.. more to write but i'm getting really tired here so i will hola it more the next day.. till then...

overheard.. an awesome movie... i like it personally... :)

reveal

it's life saying... back at your face!!

august 5

today.. all in all had been an interesting day

i start off with this afternoon... i meet with a good teacher of mine... she teaches me the DISC concept.. how to look at human or as a whole their behaviour... i've learned a lot from this..

i recomend u try this DISC test.. it's a famous personality test

As evening follow up... i began to grew nervous... i remember this issue..

my ex-boss.. used to sell this exact same machine from his competitor but with 20k more. i never knew how he did it... i'm in the similar position now...

before i arrive, i already got yelled by the customer for trying to cheat her... it's going to be an intense showdown... i assume... i prep myself for the meeting

the whole meeting goes on for 2 and a half hour... in between i even share with them the DISC that i have learned earlier...

i'm very happy that i have overcome such obstacle... i'm selling the same equipment but with twice the price of what my competitor are selling... the great part is... there's no bad news coming out of it... i was overcome with confidence and was glad that the problem that have been linger for near 5 days finally resolved....

evening did not end there... thats the beginning.. the evening did not went well.. i cut it short... there's argument and through the night a tear was shed...

i'm speechless..

what can say.... it brings nothing but sadness.... so what if i can talk it all out on business, seriously... this does not apply well on relationship

my friend had finally asked me to join on her quest of starting her tutoring centre... it has always been my dream.. i have not accept...

my temper have lowered a lot as of nowadays...

i remember things i said and things i promise....

as i walked and turn around... i saw something... i stop and look a little more

i will tell u what i saw on my next blog.. till then...

another day in paradise

i can't walk but i'm trying
i can't talk as i need to think it twice
rip this soul apart if u must
tears are never a good company to sleep
u had it once, why do u give me plenty hundred more
names was called, i was being label, i was insulted

there won't be another day in paradise,
sun fail to rise
here comes the rain again, falling from the stars
drench in my pain again, silent become my enemy

i don know if i can yell any louder
cut me into pieces
the pain is inevitable beyond unbearable
dawn never seems to break, dusk seems far away
moonlight is not here...

i'm surrounded by all 4 wall
slowly closing itself on me...
i can't breath
u took my breath away
stomp me into pieces

for real
take me away
i never knew the things i did mean nothing
it is not till the king of pop die that he is remembered for who he is
i knew i did not build the perfect castle
at least the hut was build by my own hand
the hut with stand my rain, pain and hurricane

it's always just not compatible but never lies nor bad
if u got no answer of why a person want to lie to u for more than 30 months thats because there isn't 1
if u got no answer of why a person want to treat the person he share so many things with bad intention thats because there isn't 1

u say i dissapoint u. i couldn't agree more

u say the good things i did is small but i never did good things which is big
my thing of course is always the small thing

u don like listening to harsh words.. what makes u think others like listening to it to?
u don like to be misunderstood... what makes u think others like to be misunderstood to?

haters outside u can laugh your ass off at me... take yout point blank shot...

what is evaluation, what is open mind, what is validity and what is fair..

i woke up and c darkness around the world, but i c beauty left in u girl and u give me the reason to know everything will be alright, very enough till the end of time

my view.. although absurd and weird at times.. illogical to many and also impractical but i have my own reason, just because it was not view that way doesn't mean validity wasn't there.. a right or wrong statement is never right or wrong but how it's preceive by a person's mind.

till then

tonight... i want to be alone... i really want to be alone...

i can't

she has the eye of an angel and everytime when scary movie hits or something scary came... she run seeking for cover... her angelic voice was hard to forget...

i can't do this... i can't......

match, stick, stone and alone

as says, it breaks and was told it was worthless anyway...

u stomp be down and kick dirt in my eye... calling me stupid and useless...

i call out in the street... "sir, can u help me?" but people walk on doesn't look back and pretend they don hear me..

u laugh at my work, stating i drive old car
u despise me, stating i never learn things
u humble me, stating i don care

i don need answer to it...

my words r lies, yours r truth

at this hour, this moment... i just want to be alone... my confidence are dented and bruise at this moment...

let me pick up my pieces.... i just want to be alone....

August 2

I stare at the wall, this is it... i told myself.. as much as it takes two to tango.. i'm the one that bring it all... the destruction.. everything

i couldn't agree more.. i couldn't bring myself up.... i had one of the best night yesterday... i couldn't sleep... i was asked why i couldn't shut my eye... my answer was brief and simple but i knew the very reason why i can't sleep is because i just want to take in and enjoy single of such moment which i knew wouldn't happen

i don know.. it could happen again but i have a funny feeling.. i have to eat everything thats happening yesterday night...

morning was rough, afternoon didn't get any better and throughout the evening, it was a rocky ride right until the every end.

it wasn't good enough...

when i look at the blog, i wanted to write and share so many things which i knew at a point.. i couldn't say..

i was label as a person who make ppl feel upset, i don know what i want, i bring dissapointment, i don care what or how other feel, i only know how to sweet talk, i don listen to feeling and only want to solve problem...

u focus so much a person's bad things... will u look back at the good things that i have done? maybe i didn't do anything good...

i fall to my knee and this time.. lord, please don save your son but take him away...

i screw things up... take me away

at this moment.. i no longer have the strength to do anything... it's really killing me...

i never hope it will mess up the trick
nor i ever want people to say we move to quick
it's ok for people to say i'm weak
so long i knew u're here and u think i'm great
i never mind going through hurdle of brick
or through hurricane of ache
so long i knew u're there and what we're in for is not fake
this is ours to take
if it's a dream i don want to get awake
it's a future and history both me and u r ready to make
it's so grand, better than copperfield's trick
negativity will always come and at us it aim and kick
as said, this is a future and history both me and u r ready to make