classic

da da dum dum da da dum dum

a classical hum..

oh stand by me and beautiful girl

that's what i call an instant classic

Beautiful Girl - Jose Marie Chan

stand by me

stand by me

and i know god is standing by me

embrace

just be bold and embrace it

destiny is in our hand... fate however is in gods hand

do as your might and embrace what is given

i got a feeling... things will only get better...

time to stand tall

crap... going to c customer with swollen eyes again

however i firmly believe this is only small obstacle...

i read an article over the net just now...

quote to quote

"life is not what it is until u live it"

yea like saying is easier than done... i also read another blog... stating how a guy hurt the girls heart...

seriously, in a relationship be it guy or girl.. someone will definetely got burn.. in regards of words said.. holding oneself is seriously not easy

i got a friend who really love this guy and have dated for 1 year... she broke off i think just 3 weeks ago and guess what?? she is with someone new now.. not sure of that guy is her float or whatever... but she get over the old one pretty fast... we have a brief chat last night... i asked... do u still miss your ex?? she replied.. "of course, but i already move on"

thats seriously fast

when one said over its really over and i can't imagine how she can do it so quickly...

does it not mean anything to her the previous relationship?? lol.. i guess not else how fast can she move on

another quote i read "it use to be life in the light and now love in the dark"

i believe everyone also once walk such path...

life however is more than just a relationship... thing is this relationship thing really toy around with your emotions a lot...

i got a statement yesterday stating i shouldn't get my work affect by my emotions and how true it is... i couldn't agree more but in regards of how strong u r... i however also believe in regards how emotionless u r... u will be affected... simply because something is just that important

wielding at the side of the bed... i pull myself back up... trying to shake this off i constantly tell myself... "seriously, it's just an obstacle... if it is, it will happen by it self and remind myself not to think of it too much but rather give my all"

talk to my partner's gf yesterday..

she told me how the current bf is not treating her well while the previous one treat her better

this is my take

in this world, there's two type of guy

either he loves u more than u love him or u love him more than he loves u

there's no between

a guy that love u more than anything normally will end up him tying u down, maybe in many times holding u back and track every single things that u r doing... which make many girls at times feel uneasy

a guy that love u less would seriously care less on what u r doing, u can go wherever u want or with anyone u want and he don't really care.... he would in a way but inside he don't really care... such girl would have freedom to do a lot of things

of course one would say a guy would still love the girl a lot and still give her freedom... knowing all too well he is the best and she won't leave him

thats steady for he don't live for the girl and only for himself...

my point is.. even if u leave him, yes he will be sad but he don't really mind it

thats of course my take

i could be wrong

if human can be so emotionless there won't be so many sad songs around the world

if human can be so emotionless there won't be so many sad dramas or movies around the world

if human can be so emotionless there won't be so many novels written about it around the world

i can say... though at times i fail to hold my emotion intake... i don think i can help it much and thus affected my work at times

laugh and say whatever u want...

and i knew i could have wear a mask... but again this is life, this is your life, my life... i'm not living it for someone else and i should however wear a mask for u... however i never meant to hurt or offend anyone and i will do so with much caution

i just feel if i'm sad i don't want to wear a smiley mask... i'm no joker... i won't let it affect my work but i dont want to wear a fake smile either

a line once say, be proud of who u r... if u r not even proud of who u r... how u expect others be proud of u... fashion is not about trend but about being who u r... its about creating a trend of who u r.... a leader will always be admire, not a follower.. we r the leader of our life and if u want something go out and get it... however if things aren't meant to be your, it will never be... if it is.. no matter how u run away it will still belong to u

i want to take things easy

however i firmly believe... i am stronger than this

this is only a small path i need to take

as said... time to stand tall

in cantonese

in cantonese there this proverb...

deng tit lei

i breath a sigh... 10.22am now... time to go to war again... crap.. so many things to do today... like hell lots of work

Tori Amos - Total Eclipse Of The Heart (cover live)

Crying - Don McLean

Jeff Chang - 太想爱你

album

didn't sleep the whole night yesterday, bothered by many thing and beside is rushing for another assignment which is due may 9th

started last night and up until the wee hours..

only thing that accompany me is the album above... nice album, really nice

slept really really late yesterday.. oh crap, don't know how am i going to past through the day...

let it flow

love or emotions really makes u do crazy things and feeling crazy...

be more than strong... u have to be more than that

feelings blind u most of the time but skipping a beat when u're with that person, such feeling does not come often

steady

to tell ownself to be slow and steady....

holding one's composure is much important....

steady hand don't fail me now... have work many many wonders for me before

i hope the magical dust will still work

steady...

work

so much work to be done...

however u i know i will pull through and can pull through

my partner put a positive stress on me today... telling me the amount of sales he closed today.. i applaud him on his work..

got myself a few tutoring job... looking at my schedule at this moment... makes me goes.. "crap~!!"

i would really want to add one more class... due to the good income however i doubt i can perform effectively...

work is getting really really hectic and with assignment building up...

it's really stressful at this moment

crap~!!

lost

i know, the light is always at the end of the tunnel...

it will always work out in the very end, all i need is extra strength

:)

kiss

kiss to be remembered

kiss that give u strength

kiss that make it all possible

kiss that make it last

more importantly, kiss that take your breath away

saving the best

god always has its way and its plan is to save the best for last for us all

all u got to do is trust and praise the lord above

awesome pic

i saw this awesome wallpaper and would like to share with everyone...

this is what i call double wow

superman

only the strongest survive, it's always the survival of the fittest

know what u want, go out and get it...

people can't fly, superman fly...

Vanessa Williams - Save The Best For Last

周杰倫《超人不會飛》4/26Hit Fm全球首播！

lol

someone told me that sometimes the way i say stuff its like i like to take a shot at someone...

lol

when review it myself... i so can't help the way i spoke do have such content.. i however never have that intention

lol

two cents

was looking at some facebook pictures... u know what i really can't stand??

guys trying to act cute... OMG

seriously.. like what the hell?? what's with the cute hand gesture thing?? whats' with the trying it make your eyes look big?? with that with that trying to be cute face look??

can't a guy just be like a guy??

i know i'm being stereotype here but can't u take a picture looking normal without acting cute??

u should leave the cute thingy for the ladies...

can't really please everyone eh?? thats actually only my 2 cents..

superman that can't fly

superman that can't fly

that's an interesting quote which i read about earlier today... things seems to be falling into where they suppose to be in while others r falling apart...

i do not know to be happy or sad.. but i knew there r work to be done... in each and every aspect of my life

for each and every obstacle that came through our life, god always has a plan for it to happen... and he meant it to happen...

as say.. if it is meant to be , it will be

how true

many would deny that statement while others would agree

my take however... just take it as it is.. u don't have to force it for forcing it does not guarantee u anything in return.. take it step by step however would take less toll on your life

life already hard, why make it any harder..

i spoke to someone today... and i continue to stress that i wouldn't content to be just like average joe if i have the chance to be something else...

u know a person once told me this.... "u laugh at me because i dream too big, u however forget at least i have a dream"

sitting right in front of my laptop now, of course due to sickness i slept a lot earlier... so right now i'm all awake... i took the time to make some readings and also analyze a few things

i prefer to really sit back and think on how to improve myself or the situation rather than just doing nothing

one once said... "at least someone seems to know what he is doing and he got plans for this year, next year and for the next 5 years, u however seems just do whatever u want to do"

to be perfectly honest i agree with the statement just that... its not i don't have plans.. now, dont get me wrong.. i agree with the statement that if u fail to plan then u plan to fail.. i totally agree with that.. just however i think.. sometimes when u plan too much, u r just merely planning.. and at times it doesn't really go as u plan

life itself is a sress and is a strain so i prefer to take it as it is...

so yea when a superman can't fly it's weird but give him some time.. he is superman and he will fly... just depends how long he will take

however i have to admit.. don't take life too easy.. lol

it's really really bad for u will never be able to fly...

agree or not

was talking to my partner earlier today.. we spoke a lot of stuff... and also realize a downward trend...

i spoke to him it's really pointless being cash rich at this moment.. though cash rich is the best way but i don think saving it brings any good.. as the inflation hike... today's 10k does not worth that much by the time 2012 came..

we both agree we should take the money to invest on something.. shops in particular...

he also spoke to me about his relationship problem...

couldn't agree more

more work to be done tomorrow.. another promotion..

u ain't getting away from our grasp... i'm closing this sales..

the carpenters

this oldies group means a lot to me....

i love their songs a lot too....

suppose to be doing my assignment now but yet... i can't even do anything... my mind is filled with so many things.... i'm very tired and want to sleep so much but when i close my eyes, so many things pop up....

*sigh*

Carpenters - Can't Smile Without You

16th of april

2009 april 16th was the birth of this blog

this blog means a lot to me... month of april always seems to means a lot to me...

seriously a lot of things happen in this month..

tear jerker... i drop a tears silently....

oh, well.... can't even sleep after what took place

u c how complicated and things r turning?? actually its not.. just me being stupid

enough of this already...

sleep~!!

night to all

its ok part 2

its not that i can't stand back up or climb back up...

as said, i need to give time some time... many many times i already put up a brave face and is moving on... but u know.. it's always one of those nights or day where when u see something it will hit u...

life always like to play games with us... make u all happy and stuff then suddenly pull u back down to earth... like all of a sudden, just like that

i don really want to hold any grudge or anger towards her... or anybody... for what to be honest

oh before i continue.... i really think during this course i had hurt few individuals.. to those peeps i would like to say i'm sorry... sometimes my words and action.. no no, i just think it's unforgiveable... i'm sorry

i realize a bit too slow and too late.... no, it's too late......

somehow i figure the other part of her would do a better job.... i can only offer the once in a while company that is if she is even comfortable with me around...

now u c how bad it is....

u know who i miss the most of this all?? ok, apart from P, it's capuchino.... the noseless dog... the dog that has been through many many tears with me and that has been with her through many sleepless night too...

i hope doggie can keep doing a good job.. :)

i seriously not mad at her... i think it's really normal for any person to find a better person for themself...

afterall how many more years we can live.. right??

i went visit my partner today and saw a photo album.. it's of him and his gf... they have loads of pictures and chinese words to it... seriously i don't know what they wrote there but it looks really sweet...

i don think anybody even bother if i can stand back up.. it's ok...

i talked to a friend the other day.... a lady... who maybe once had a crush on me... i past the chance to be with her while on the other hand decide to go full force and chase the other one back.... i was successful in chasing her back but to no avail... i lost her again.. how about the one that have a crush on me?? she is doing really really well.. that i can assure u...

so this thing begin to knock on my head

if it's meant to be, it will be

even if u lose her, if she is meant to be with me she will be back but even if she's back... she'll still leave if its not meant to be

i no longer want to be stubborn especially when it comes to relationship... take it easy will be the best option

i just want to do the things i want to do and during the course someone came by and be that someone, i'll just let flow take control then... it's really pointless forcing anything....

to P, i enjoy her company a lot and appreciate her full support.... i really do... i however just think along the line i make her feel i don't love her enough... that i love other things more... myself

oh god, to ye i pray.. please give me the strength to carry this... i really really need the strength...

pull the plug, do whatever u want... just get this over with.. your son is suffering and father above... bless your son who in need of your guidance down here... i need your strength more than anything

looking at her pics make me realize

P look lovely just like she did before except she don't love me anymore...

it's ok

got pm earlier just now... what did i get?? yea.. some yelling

of course i did not get mad but i think i lost my composure again and start to asked silly question....

actually to be honest i really and do care for her a lot... but i don't think this time round we're meant to be... it's ok

had really been in my life as well as in her life... can't be couple.. also canbe good friends i guess as we've know each other well.. but unfortunately i don think thats what she wants... it's ok

i would love to asked her out once in a while just to catch up or just talk to each other... as a person i feel very comfortable talking to her.. however i doubt it will happen... it's ok

i can sense she's extremely unhappy, and angry over other end... maybe again i make her feel that way.... my bad... it's ok

oh no, it's i'm sorry

she threw me a statement stating i don't know how to appreciate her... i shake my head... wow, i thought to myself... i really did a very very bad job....

i was looking at some of our pics... i can't even bring myself to smile.... no tears even drop down... i was just sitting there... pretty numb of what had took place....

i wanted to shout on top of my lungs...

i really think i have hurt one too many over the course of this relationship... if i ever go back in time.. will i make the same decision?? i will in sense of being with her but i would definetely not make some of the major mistake that i made

i remember our sunday conversation was pretty warm... the last pm conversation we had was cold... i fail to gage but again maybe i was asking the wrong question

i flip over the folder and tell myself... i guess this is it... the end of the chapter... many said it's already the end... i know, i know... it's not easy to flip the last page, u know??

i really hope she don't get mistreated this time round... whoever it is... good looking or not, rich or poor.... i think very important thing is.. she is really the top priority and the princess for that guy and not being mistreated

though i spoke of her being number 1 but work always seems to get the nod first... when we having arguments i would always want her to listen to me first before i listen.. the trust between us was so bad she don't even trust a single word i say and i got nobody to blame but myself... i said lies which destroy it all in the beginning.. and towards the end, no matter what i say or do.. i already hurt her in the beginning...

u know what is the worst feeling?? not about being ditch or being called off but unable to forgive myself for what i have done...

on paper i seems to be doing fine, with everything to live for, and have everything a lot of people don't even have... however at this moment, i feel so terrible i don think i deserve anything at all..

sound fragile?? haha.. silly me... i am when it came to relationship... though lack in sensitivity and act pretty emotionless at times... i am not on the inside...

i too want a simple and loving relationship... i also want to hold my other half's hand and just tell her how much she mean to me and that i really love her... that i want to make this last and build a happy memory with her...

and that many times i too will cry when u always leave me just like that...

i knew i had not did an awesome job and that i had create more stress as well as worries for u... i never meant that...

this love really makes me drop a lot and i mean a lot of tears.... i never realize a 26 year old guy who own a company and also been through hardship can cry like a baby... Haha.. no, seriously u can go ahead and laugh...

i don deserve that pitiness

movie up

watch a short clip of up...

a tear jerker... always mkes me drop a tears or two everytime i watch the beginning part of it...

i really really like the movie a lot....

throw it away

i'm the one that throw it away and seriously, its something which i can't even forgive myself..

crap

year of the gentleman

4.07 pm...

sitting here in the library... really hard to focus on my assignment.. it's noisy here and the two dudes that is sitting beside me... seems to be looking over their shoulder every now and then to c what i'm doing which irk me a lot

i mean come on.. what u guys looking at?? can't u mind your own business??

lucky enough for me i have my mp3 to accompany me...

this assignment is by far much easier to do compare to the previous one... though my pages r still blank, i very much have gather the information i needed...

the rain had just stop raining here... sun beaming endlessly through the crack of window...

this alone bring many many memories... both sweet and sour...

seriously, P had a major impact on me, in every possible way

it's seriously a mix emotion thingy.... i know times and times again many has said to move on, to forget about it or to not think about it.. for an individual to have such an impact.. it's not easy and it does take time..

meet back with E the other day... had a drink and we chat and laugh.. her friend was there too... and couple more others... just as E leave the table to go to the washroom.. one of her friend asked me

"so, E still looking hot eh?? she's single now u know.. y don't u go for her??"

i look at her and smirk.. it's more than just her being single or not... to me, she is very much just a friend... i didn't give further explanation except stating i really treat and think E just as a good friend who tend to be there whenever i need someone to talk to...

she laugh and ask again... really??

i nod...

the whole relationship thing is really complicated... not that i want it that way but sometimes this is how it unfold itself... how don't want a simple relationship?? who don't wish a relationship is so perfect there ain't much argument??

she had really supported me whenever i needed that support... and to that I'm very very grateful... a shoulder for me to cry on when i needed one very badly... we shared many many laughter and really enjoy each others company...

however when things turn a little off the track, your tantrum is unstoppable..

u dislike me being direct, lifeless, and not listen when u r yelling.... u dislike the fact i was not romantic enough and that my work always came first

little u know

i'm so afraid to make the wrong decision and upset u i tend to ask u directly
i don't want to indulge myself with the clubbing, bar or drinking because not only i dislike it, i don think u want to indulge yourself again with these type of guys
i answer back when u r yelling simply because i hope u understand why i make such decision and not to defy u or create more argument

it seems like i'm trying to defend myself..... i'm very sure i am... but i don have such intention

nobody knows if this is for the better or worse and only time can tell..

i am however sure this is what u want......

u told me u no longer want to even waste a day of your precious time with me... from that day i knew... beg or even cry won't do anything, anymore

if it's meant to be it will be... if its not, no matter how hard i chase back.. it will never work out

it's better to better myself for only true qualities shine brighter than anything

let's try to be more gentleman this time round.... and see how it unfold

u said it once... a mature, stable gentleman always win...

that day

阴天 在不开灯的房间
当所有思绪都一点一点沈淀
爱情终究是精神鸦片
还是世纪末的无聊消遣
香烟 氲成一摊光圈
和他的照片就摆在手边
傻傻俩个人笑得多甜
开始总是分分钟 都妙不可言
谁都以为热情它永不会减
除了激情褪去後的那一点点倦
也许像谁说过的贪得无厌
活该应了谁说过的不知检点
总之那几年 感性赢了理性那一面

阴天 在不开灯的房间
当所有思绪都一点一点沈淀
爱恨情欲里的疑点盲点
呼之欲出那黱明显
女孩 通通让到一边
这歌里的细微末节就算都体验
若想真明白真要好几年

回想那一天 喧闹的喜宴
耳边想起的究竟是序曲
或完结篇?

感情不就是你情我愿
最好爱狠扯平俩不相欠
感情说穿了
一人挣脱的 一人去捡
男人大可不必百口莫辩
女人实在无须楚楚可怜
总之那几年你们俩个没有缘

open up your mind

Even when it seems that nothing can go right
and you want to just give up,
if you close your eyes,
you can see the world from your heart.

In this world when life can be so tough
You must be strong
Just believe in yourself and don’t you fear
So open up your mind and close your eyes
Take another look from the other side

In this world when life can be so tough
You must be strong
Just believe in yourself and don’t you fear
So open up your mind and close your eyes
Take another look from the other side

Even on a lonely night, when you wander afraid,
you may be alone now, but
your feet can take you however far you want to go, so

Just hold on tight, because if you close your eyes,
look inside yourself, there’s a shining light there.
Yes, I want you to believe in everything.
You can take another look from the other side

Just hold on tight, even if your heart is breaking.
Reach into your soul, even if you can’t see tomorrow.
Yes, if you have the strength to live,
You can take another look from the other side,
until you find all that is love…

I wish for you to have the strength
to make it through this world,
so open up your mind, [1]
and you’ll be able to see…

Just remember you are not alone
So don’t you fear
Even though you’re miles away
I’m by your side
So open up your mind and close your eyes
I’ll be there for you no matter where you are

The stars may live for a long time, but that doesn’t mean
that the same days will repeat over and over forever.
Noone can see into tomorrow.

Just hold on tight, because if you close your eyes,
look inside yourself, you’ll feel a heartbeat.
Yes, I want you to believe in the future.
You can take another look from the other side.

Just hold on tight, even if your heart is breaking.
Reach into your soul, even if you can’t see tomorrow.
Yes, there’s another world out there.
You can take another look from the other side,
and you’ll be able to find all that is love…

Just hold on tight, because if you close your eyes,
look inside yourself, you’ll feel a heartbeat.
Yes, I want you to believe in the “future.”
You can take another look from the other side

Just hold on tight, even if your heart is breaking.
Reach into your soul, even if you can’t see tomorrow.
Yes, there’s another world out there.
You can take another look from the other side,
until you find all that is love…

陳曉東 緊握你的手

beauty world

i have step out of the beauty world for quite a while now.. two weeks to be exact... not entirely step out but i'm basically toothless over there...

i'm stepping in back tomorrow.. so to my competitors out there that have a grace period of two weeks.. get your arms out... i'm showing no mercy

as i might be broken and still look down but i definetely have my energy back...

as a once great wrestler says "what'cha gonna do when the hulkamaniacs run wild on u, what'cha gonna do"

check this out

just held a conversation with a friend...

he's 29 going to the big three O this year... as we chat... this is what he said

"i really want to move out, but apparently my parent asked me to stay put, i don really like it... imagine living with your parent still until the age of 30, i really want to move out"

ermm.. Mr. L, this is my take

firstly if u want to move out by all means go ahead but i'm very sure there's a reason for your parents to say that, u c.. there's a difference between the western world and the eastern world whereby our values is we take care of our parents... if u feel they r a burden to u then u must be doing really bad financially at the age of 30.. to that plz review yourself... however if u think u want to have some single life then move out and get a penthouse for u and your parent... let me share something with u... i got a friend who already married... got a 3 storey house whereby he and his wife take the 2nd floor while the 1st floor were given to the parent.... that way he can juggle between family and wife

i too have that thought when i get married, i just think my parent have put enough effort on me and that both of them really need me around....

some would argue that wife will be arguing with the mom thing... it really depends on how u handle it...

so to Mr. L thing... this is my take... take responsible of your own life... rather u stay with them why not have the thought of them staying with u.. your conception of still being a mama's boy will change differently...

i got this song called OMG by usher stuck in my head... the song is awesome..... u know there's this part of the song that said "honey looking supermodel my oh my, baby how u do it make a grown man cry"

lol

someone will be coming back from china today... hemm....

i still stick back to this wording... thee's one beauty which is extremely dangerous in this world and it's the beauty of a lady... they can seriously crush any living man down...

this is my take... a guy who is in a relationship... in regards have to keep his head at all time.. don fall too heavily head over heels... serious u'll burn... sometimes u need to be emotionless in a way...

i use to ge so nervous if she'll get mad or when she is about to get mad that my heartbeat twice as fast.... of course when i'm nervous i lost my composure and head at time... i also understand the need to call her that in regards of where i am, i will always get myself a calling card to call her when i'm in overseas... as say "i make a mistake when she's yelling at me that i always talk back, of course when she's mad i should let her keep yelling"

this love relationship thing game is definetely not my cup of tea... i'm more interested with other games lol... go-kart for example is fun.. :)

on a more serious note, i prefer the business or sales game more..

i will leave the love game for other expert to do it.... those so call player.... my advise to u... women will always be women... which tend to burn guys.. so u guys go out there and burn them, i don have that ability but u players have it... go and burn the house down... bitches will always be bitches and let these bitches cry us a river... make it an ocean if possible

i'm not saying all women r bad but those bitches out there... oh, they deserve this shit badly...

firm

quote to quote

"money is not everything as it will not bring u past end of time whereby not only love can bring u till the end of time, u'll be smilling knowing u had love"

i don even know if this quote is helping or destroying....

another chinese quote

"not about forever but had it once"

stupid proverb... to me, assuming it's base on relationship.. u work on it hard to make sure it's forever... u think u wil be more happy that u once had it?? it's to console your ownself... dumb nut... so that u won't be that sad... it's pathetic u let things like that slip off...

but then.. everybody does... some never.. i did however... so yea, i fall under the dumb nut category...

and then i go around crying... u know what they call this type of idiots??

*ucktard

short and simple...

worst part is... only my heart bleeds while the other part is doing great

forgive my rant but let me rant a sentence or two here

"u piece of shit, wrecking shit up, u think u drive an expensive shit?? it does not even past the 100 grand mark, i don even know u or maybe i hated your guts but u definetely irritates me, u must be seriously think u r damn smart or cool at this moment, u piece of trash, got the attention u want, u r seriously the biggest piece of monkey crap... i may be down and dont even have grounds to *uck with u but because i hate u this much... i'm freaking pushing myself to be better... audit firm?? talk to me when u own your own shit."

Justin Timberlake Until the End of Time

4am

hollywood undead : bitches

yea bitches will always be bitches

is always

just a classic case, it's a scenario, tale as old as time.. everybody get what they deserve.. good or bad...

thats the way it goes

my heart bleed as i was left feeling hurt... vice versa

things are really more than words can express....

i understand many had walk my path... to this i won't dissappoint either...

be strong

kick ass and chew bubble gum they say

what is small obstacle... u kick it when it came knocking on your door

i know.. i know it's easier to be said than done...

don't have much option laying in front except just rushing forward... except the just do it...

more work to be done the next day.. ops look at the clock.. already 3.45am.. its already the next day...

heading to bed although i doubt i can get any sleep...

its better to rest...

apart from work and assignment.. now i have to work on the car thing.. not hectic but lots of catching up to do

came friday... oh, fion, cammy, angel and gillian... all 4 of u... i'm closing u guys by this month... and yes... i'm that hungry for your sales... pocket is running dry... crap

throw in part time, throw in students.... i'm that hungry...

the car is expensive shit to me...

crap.....

i'm all pump and ready so bring it on...

ps: thanks for the comment... not sure if its meant as a feedback, critic or a helpful comment.... i however take it very positively.. thanks again for the comment and for my other friend ms. "buaya" thanks for the wishes

:)

Alison Krauss - When You Say Nothing At All

Mariah Carey - I Want To Know What Love Is

:(

nothing much to say.

:(

fool

in a way i felt like a fool today... don't want to go in depth... crap

blog... a place where u literaly write your feelings out...

i know at times maybe what how i feel when read makes people's blood boil... i know... i however really feels... it's a place to write it all out...

enough of the maskng or acting during working time...

human r most human when being alone... thats what i think

went with dad today to fix his watch and also to buy supper at pasar malam... had time alone time with the old man... he talks to me and told me a lot of things.... i listen quietly... i understand what he's trying to say, just that i don't really agree with what he says... however i'm in no mood to debate with him about it so i end up just listening...

anyway...

took a break from all the assignment to watch friends... despite it being an old drama thing.. i can tell u.. it's still a class act... i really like watching friends... and futurama too...

i have been thinking of something as of late... however as day drew near... i find... it's seriously pointless to think so much....

when at times u put your heart on something and it got crush... u know u're hurt badly... i'm not saying someone did not put it in... i just view it differently now

i hate being a fool so much...

crap

myself

just turn 26....

before i continue i would really really like to thanks everyone of their support shown and their wishes... u guys have been great... thank you so so much... thank you

have been talking to a lot of people and read a lot of stuff...

i read this article... sometimes u can't control what others say or do... its only whather u want to embrace it or not that matters....

since i just had my birthday yesterday i would like to share with all on my thoughts and view

i realize i really enjoy working and this is what i don't realize myself until a friend told me that i'm a workaholic.. i don't think i am but i would just rather use the time to earn some additional cash.. it's not much but its still money...

a friend asked me.. what i do actually and how many work i do... to be frank... today beauty has always been my core business and that without much question, thats the core business.... i teach is simply because i really like teaching... however i don't teach for peanuts... came weekend... i normally have class on saturday while on sunday.... if i'm free, i would prefer to work....

some say what about my other half??

u know... i use to spend lot of time with her... seeing her everyday and at times twice a day... but i soon realize the hard truth... though she like to c me everyday... she prefer to have her own activities too...

workaholic?? i beg to differ but just maybe i pull in more hours compare to average joe outside... i just club less, watch less football and mamaking less... less my life seems lifeless... but this is what i enjoy doing

colourful life only starts when i get married... some of course have different opinion

but i know when i get married i no longer can pull in such working hours anymore... i really want to bring my family out for weekend activites or just cuddle with my wife.. lol

anyway lets skip the topic

i got to celebrate my birthday twice... can u imagine that?? all along i thought they have forget about me since i already gave them up.... they all come back and support me all the way

thanks...

went to the library yesterday... this new friend introduce this girl to me... Haha...

silly boy... definetely not in relationship mood... i miss her veyr much still, though i already gain my composure now... lol

at times i still drop a tears or two for her but definetely not crying anymore.... again, if it is to be.. it will be...

now, i got something to look forward to... new car.. wah... so damn happy... seriously... is damn happy...

she once told me she did not leave me because i'm poor... i know u did not

but i know u also seek for a better guy who has a better financial background... i don think mine is that strong.... seriously, i don't think so... i can't afford to buy u that coach bag whenever i c u jumping with glee looking at those bags, i can't afford to pay for all your cosmetics products when i c u smile happily trying those products out, at times i also fail to even pay for that magazine that i knew u wanted so much....

but i'm really just start off my business and i just need some time.. anyway time's up for me

now that everything is revise... i hope to change a new car... one day hopefully bring u out with my new car

:)

and no, i'm not getting city...no way

1.04pm here.... time to finish up my assignment again...

thanks again for all the support shown... thanks

:)

jwow and snooki

i got asked a question today.... do u still think of her??

i answered... very much

second question came.. what's so special about this lady

and i answer.... hard to explain but apart from the good girlfriend quality she posses... she looks good to me.. 1 word put a full stop to it all.. stunning in every way

ops.. more than a word

:)

off to college in finishing my assignment... to everyone.... enjoy your workload.. don't be lazy ya

:)

watching jersey shore.... oh my god... what a retard show.. wonder why people even bother watching it... jwow?? snooki?? looks retard to me...

Jay Chou - Chou Ke Ai Nu Ren

stunning

saw her picture on the wedding...

darn it... as stunning as ever

blog

read over a status today.... she put single... not sure why but i assume she got broken up... it came as a shock to me... 4 years relationship for her... though i knew they had their fights but i always envy they manage to pull through...

oh well

got my celebration yesterday with a bunch of friends.... so happy... no, seriously happy... we went all the way to kuala selangor to eat the seafood then to go see fireflies.... it's seriously not the most amazing food nor the best firefly boat ride... but i really enjoy the whole thing... :)

guess what?? i got a surprise birthday cake too.. it's a very very small and tiny one but one full with heart.... 7 people and 1 tiny cake?? u guys can do better~!! lol but u know what.. i'm still very thankful for it

i was actually waiting to c if someone will message me saying happy birthday... it didn't came... others came pouring in though... it's ok, i tell myself... just as the expectation sets in... it'll bring along dissapointment..

went to c a lot of cars yesterday... i finally narrow down to the few ones i want... let's c how it goes for the next few days.. :)

got another invitation for a party tonight... to celebrate my birthday.... i'm so so so so happy.... people actually do throw a party for me??

all along it's only she that throws a party for me and i'm more than happy for it.... celebrate with someone special... a cake from her.... it was always awesome with her...

anyway... after the whole seafood kuala selangor thing... we manage to go for a second round... no more extreme drinking for me.. Haha... we talked and laugh till very early in the morning....

we all head home at around 3am... i check my cell... empty... she's asleep i tell myself....

it's 11.24am now... i'm very sure.... i won't be receiving anything sms from her.....

as i sit here looking at my assignment sheet.... i make a wish yesterday

"give me the strength to be a better man, a chance for her, myself, my family and in work. i wish that she can c if i had make it a better for her"

the candle was then blew....

remember our last celebration was on kl tower?? i wish that u'll come back and how it did came true....

rather than come back... i really want u to be with a better man and i hope i can be that better man for u

i again look at your pictures... omg, it's hard to look at it.. lol

seriously, i really think u r that pretty and u damn know how to melt a man's heart

darn...

april 19

birthday eve

did a part time digi job yesterday... it has been a very long time since the last time i did it... the old hogs that i use to hang out with were no longer there... sad

no longer selling postpaid.. they r selling broadband for now.. and my, i'm too new for this....

but guess what?? i still able to get 6 new people sign up for it.. :) not bad for a person who make a came back eh??

seriously, i couldn't imagine how much vulgar words i can say when i meet back with them.. seriously, it was like... few vulgar words in a sentence.. what a disgrace eh?? lol

i however was really having fun.... at least not surrounded with 4 walls...

worked till really last night... after the work, went out drinking with all the digi's dude while of course watching soccer together....

what else... i got tease again while going for the drinking session... pretty weak when it comes to relationship... anyway as i was on my way home.. i receive a call... an unexpected call... what make the call much more unexpected is how's she doing on the other end... i can sense it's not all right but i'm glad in a way towards the end... she sounds better

it was a really mix emotion talking to her... i try to hold my compsure and in a lot of way though i gave in... i held it pretty good i would say... hats off to me

i don't know nor a i sure whats going on but i knew if u ever turn back... i'm just behind....

slightly after the conversation.. we hang up... and just as i was about to sleep... another call came in... what?? at 2 something?? is she crazy or what.... i pick up... she asked what's my plan for monday and tuesday.... and what makes me happy is that... she asked me out to celebrate my birthday

wow~!! i'm so happy listening to that... people want to celebrate my birthday with me... oh wow...

:)

i really really slept with a relief heart last night... knowing i still got the digi touch (lol), got to talk and listen to her which is really really awesome (it's awesome~!!! i've been waiting long for her call) and finally friend who wants to celebrate my birthday ( *wink* *wink*)

to cap of my awesome day... i saw the pic she put on her blog...

stunning as crazy

again that's me... please bear with me

anyway as i remember... as we're talking over the phone... she did mention that her friends don't really like me... simply because i didn't let her go club.... no offense but seriously?? don't like me because i don't let u go club?? really?? this is my point, why must organize club?? can't it be done something else?? to that i don think i will say anything... other than club...

again.. seriously??

poor and rich

i was viewing one of my friend's facebook picture... she's married now

nto sure how many of u know her but she goes by the name bernice ho...

seriously... take a look at her wedding picture.. she look gorgeous there.. like really good

i can only presume... the husband is one lucky guy... but she is lucky too.. the husband seems loaded

i have seen quite a few couple... some women married rich while some married poor... u know what.. in the end... seriously, who treats who better is really pointless... money speaks...

as much as i hate to admit.... i won't let this happen again....

u c... money is always the devil here and i really want to get rich so i won't get look down again... or be mistreated because of this.... looking like a scum bag without money... it's pathetic and i hate that shit....

i might be poor now but i won't let this stay for long

i won't

review yourself

man utd won 1-0 to man city... what a heart breaker... i never wanted man utd to win

had a few drinks with friends while watching soccer match....

one of the few occupants who is a female voice how male like to lie.. blablabla

same story thing

this is my take... u think u girls r any better?? take one example....

one once told me she won't be with someone who smoke... and guess what?? i let u guess the ending yourself

so please... don give me this crap...

i remember me having this argument with this lady over this thing... when obviously we could have save our energy as we knew... it doesn't really matter because u did it either way.... someore say i don't trust u.... its your own word

so same thing to that lady... please review yourself before u go around and say ppl like to lie...

:)

didn't went to class today instead i went to give my customer a visit...

what can i say.. good news of course....

u c, i got ditch in a way because my financial was not that strong too so this time round... i die also i will win this deal... and what can i say... :) she got own... oh yea...

after the happy encounter... i decided to give some car dealer a visit... oh yea, i really want to change my car for quite a while now

been looking around for some car.... i can say i got some pretty good offer on the table.... though i can tell u.. it's still darn expensive to pay off the stupid car

while me giving the ca dealears a tour... one of my friend called... asked where am i and what i'm doing... as the conversation goes on... he said... "so good~!! broke up and u might get yourself now a new laptop and a new car"

stupid~!! i would without hesitation give up all that if i can be with her again but then... if it can be exchange so easily life won't be this hard on me...

rain suddenly pour down as i'm seeing the car... and oh my did i get all wet... a sales girl ran all the way and give me the umbrella... in the midst also gave me a towel to dry myself... zap~~ lol and she's like.. u're all wet sir... come here and dry yourself first

i was like.. "i'm all good... thanks.... by the way is wayne here? i have been waiting for him"

she gave me a smile and replied... oh, he just went out.. let me remind him for u... please take a sit

interesting eh?? lol... anyway she came back and replied saying that wayne will be really late and she won't mind serving me since she got nothing to do

i smile of course.. since i'm not goint to he weddind dinner i got plenty of time to spare.... we chat and talked about the car.... conversation took place and we talked about almost everything...

of course then came the sensitive topic... "it's getting late, don't u need to accompany your girlfriend or wife??".... girlfriend?? wife?? seriously... do i look like a person who has a life partner?? no... i just got ditch is what i wanted to say.... but i just replied.. "oh, i just broke up... but i bet she's having fun outside now"

she laugh of course... come on~!! is this even funny?? she having fun and me getting all sad here?? its funny?? she is definetely out of her mind.... anyway she then asked me to join her for a drink tonight....

i can drink however no flirting involve ya... lol

for once again today.... it's a sad weekend but i'm happy in a way.... it really seems like everyone is really caring about my well being... asking me out rather than stay home and get all sad because of her....

finger cross with everything going well.. i can get the car really soon....

:)

comment

i leave a comment.. stating it has been 3 years and 2 days... i don think many would really care... seriously, it's only me who cares about it afterall...

i receive another msg yesterday night from a customer... its another supportive message.... i'm more than happy to read that...

it's second customer showing me support all the way through....

make this clear....

i freaking love her lots.... and seriously want to be with her and even go a step further... however i wouldn't let u guys down... u guys have been nothing but full support me... and to this i will reply my thank by not being so lifeless.. i will do my best to not see u guys with a swollen eyes the next time we meet....

i know its hard but i won't let u guys down.... i had let her down and i won't in anyway let this happen again......

i know i will pull this through but that i need time for it....

the friend that i met with yesterday have gone through worse shit.... mine is seriously nothing much compare to theirs.... if they can survive and not go suicide.. i should be stronger....

dear P,

i hope u choose the good one, don be mistreaten... it really kills me to know that... don settle for second best.... go for it but if u run till u r too tired... i'll be here for u.... despite it all.. even as a friend... we share too much to throw it all away... u r the only one who really know me and i hope i am the one too.... so if u ever need to talk, u can always just turn around.. i'm always around the corner....

u c how hard it is if i were to say that... lol

let it be ba.. if it is to be, it will be

this time, i don think if it is to be it's up to me... sometimes something... its really out of your own control.... being too stubborn or hold on something too tightly will in the end hurt u of who u r...

it's 3 years and 2 days as of now... how long already eh..... i know.... there won't be fresh air to breath.. rather... lets c how this unfold....

:)

familiarity

no.. not good at all

where's the familiar ear and shoulder when i need one

:(

meant to be

to this i beg and pray....

though if its meant to be it will be

i want it meant to be

being human being

my good friend tayo is finally back to malaysia.. i'm more than happy to see him back

yesterday was an interesting day for me....

i went to watch the movie called being human being... the singaporean movie

i watched it with a few friends of course... i can't help but keep crying while watching the movie.. Haha.. touching?? erm.. it does in a way....

though i had taken this whole thing lightly, the way i view it... but to really like / love her less has not... while watching the movie... how i wish the one sitting beside me is her and we can as usual hold her hands and give her hand a small peck while stating.... "just like in the movie, i won't leave u or divorce u either" lol.. and of course she will again give those cute and darlingly look

rain keeps falling on the outside

i held my head down

the seed of the flower that i had water relentlessly

had died on me

is fermentation not enough

or is the sunlight not enough

i held the pot high and yelled on it loudly

please don't die on me

i view out past pictures

it was really cute and happy of us

i shed a tears again

many said a lifetime is too short to love a being

i couldn't agree more

even if today u give me another more 50 years

a total of 100 years is not enough to love the darlingly her

no longer wanted to be with me

how can i hold on to someone who is leaving me

if one day u would think i'm worth a tiny bit of your time

please... please... turn around... i have been waiting patiently

and yes, seriously... though nothing much but she had been really important to me.. not just anyone to me... but she is really someone to me...

開不了口

才離開沒多久就開始 擔心今天的妳過得好不好

整個畫面是妳 想妳想的睡不著

嘴嘟嘟那可愛的模樣 還有在妳身上香香的味道

我的快樂是妳 想妳想的都會笑


沒有妳在我有多難熬

(沒有妳在我有多難熬多煩惱)

沒有妳煩我有多煩惱

(沒有妳煩我有多煩惱多難熬)

穿過雲層 我試著努力向妳奔跑

愛才送到 妳卻已在別人懷抱

就是開不了口讓她知道

我一定會呵護著妳也逗妳笑

妳對我有多重要 我後悔沒讓妳知道

安靜的聽妳撒嬌 看妳睡著一直到老

就是開不了口讓她知道

就是那麼簡單幾句我辦不到

整顆心懸在半空我只能夠遠遠看著

這些我都做得到但那個人已經不是我

世界末日

想笑来伪装掉下的眼泪

点点头承认自己会怕黑

我只求 能借一点的时间来陪

你却连同情都不给

想哭 来试探自己麻痹了没 是

全世界 好象只有我疲惫

无所无所谓 反正难过就敷衍走一回

但愿绝望和无奈远走高飞

天灰灰 会不会

让我忘了你是谁

夜越黑 梦违背 难追难回味

我的世界 将被摧毁 也许事与愿违

累不累 睡不睡 单影无人相依偎

夜越黑 梦违背 有谁肯安慰

我的世界将被摧毁

也许颓废也是 ~ 另一种美

Jay Chou - 世界末日- Shi Jie Mo Ri (End of the World)

SE7EN - Lalala

omg

lol, check this out

her leaving me.. the impact was so great that at this moment when i look at some pretty girls pic... i feel nothing at all...

crap

did her leaving makes me look gay?? i hope not~!!

oh shit.. oh shit..

on the other hand seeing her pics makes me go crazy...

this is one big OMG, not even a minute feel at all...

weekend

there's nothing to be look forward knowing she's not there to company the weekend

april 16

april 15th came and went by, just like that....

it's a erm.. how would i put it... interesting day and date for me

let me share

first and foremost... it's undoubtly an important date to me... so that alone is enough to make it special

secondly... a successful close of machine for the beauty salon called Gnile.. went by connaught or leisure, u'll c this beauty salon... just beside maxis... held a very large training today... all by myself... previously its a trainning or maybe 3-5 person.. but we're talking of a training between 9-11 ppl... i'm very happy with the training... the boss however was more than happy that they choose us and not AM, yes.. my arch rival...

i wasn't feeling too well today and the boss was really kind enough to buy me a coconut drink... haha, coconut drink on the 15th of april.. again.. coconut means more to me during this time... :)

as i switch my laptop on to conduct training... her picture pop up.. Haha, funny~!! yes... before i went to training i was actually viewng her pictures and i forgot to close it.. thus all the beautician was like... "teacher's pet~!!" i smile... who really cares what happen to be honest... the boss was the funny one... she replied... i'm happy that u're not gay.. when i first met u i thought u were gay

i laugh... luckily she told me this over lunch and not in front of all the people... i then talked to her about my situation... she smile and replied

no wonder u look lifeless today

what is with lifeless... everybody is talking about it

anyway she continue and again offer very very supportive words... also told me many experience she had heard in her life... mine to be honest was nothing

she then play with me with palm and personality reading thing... imagine how free beauty salon boss is eh... she also asked a lot of question

since i'm "lifeless" i play along... and since she is buying me lunch too.. lol... she really likes me.. haha

anyway she asked... despite it all or what u presume happen... if she ever comes back... what would u do...

i smile... i will again jump the gun and without much hesitation or question definetely be back with her... yea, sounds retard and desperate eh... yea... u don need to laugh or let me know.. i know why i say so and what my decision is... laugh all u want.. u want a bigger laugh?? despite it all, i will still pop the question... now, go ahead and laugh your ass off... u can go rolling on the floor too if u want...

she then replied..... u know jest... when a girl tells u the guy is there because of right timing means more problem than good things because she hasn't really know him... its just right timing.. maybe there's goodness but normally it will have lots of arguments too

just like me?? i think to myself... i know despite previously all the qualities that i posses.. yea so called quality, i did have a right timing...

anyway dont want to touch that...

i then continue with my training and work.. meet up with another customer... i have a veyr good feeling.. this is yet another sales that i will close..... that'll be 4 equipment sold if this and yesterday customer pay up by this week... i can't be any happier...

one once said, i lose her and i gain sales... having sales is great and happy feeling but it never compare to the feeling being with u..

anyway, let's continue

went for my tutoring thing... and then to neway to celebrate my staff's birthday... little i knew... though its her birthday she had invite lots of friends to actually support me... i was really touch by what she did and how her friend treat me...

it was really warm of them....

they then dedicate 1 song to me.. i thought what song it'll be.... the song name is called "can't take my eyes of u"

oh crap.. thats her favourite song.. they just have to do that.... anyway though i had a lot of emotion inside the room... i stay tough and was actually having a great time...

after the karaoke session.. we all went for foot reflex.... :D

we really really had fun... before we left, some new friends put their arm around my shoulder and offer their support...

it was really warm of them.... no, seriously at least they weren't a bit cold to me...

catch phrase from gary cao's bei pan song

"u say don't love is don't love and only left alone dealing with this sad feeling" no, there's not even one.. how u doing or if u're ok or if u need someone to talk to...

as i reach home... i receive a call.. again from another friend... asking me if everything is ok... oh wow.... all the way from canada.. really?? :) i'm more than touch by their show of support....

we chat for a while... as i hang up.. another call came in... also asking if everything is alright... stating if want to cry at least make it after april 15.. once the clock strike 12.01am on april 16 then i can go ahead

HAHA~!! i laugh... i did however manage past april 15th without crying.. yea there's a drop of tears here and there earlier today but again.. good job for me, i did a good job holding myself... interesting part is... how did this chick knew i just broken up... definetely the job of some boss and i exactly knew who... she is one nosy boss... i hardly even know this person and she make great courage to call me up and talk to me...

Haha

i'm really not that bad afterall, for blaming myself at things that i did so badly..

though i still have to agree i didn't do a good job..... i know at times i already did my best... i knew the things i did definetely couldn't be duplicate... that i'm very sure.. both bad and the good one... though i'm sure someone is better than me... i also knew... as u say, u prefer to scold me like a dog also happier than someone talks back.... not all guys can take that...

hey, thats again just a speculation... i could be wrong...

before i sleep a message from a customer.... very encouraging.. giving me the support i need... quote to quote

"focus on what u need to do, future is for u to grasp, u r young and have that limitless potential, few years is all u need. a reminder for u to stay strong and also to print my powerpoint by tomorrow"

what a funny but encouraging message....

if its meant to be it will be... i still firmly believe in this...

:)

crazy guy

it's thursday today, been a while since the last time i talk to her..... it's tough... it kills to be precise

crazy guy i am.....

seriously, what a crazy guy i am~!!!!!!!

to think it over and over and being sad over and over.... i highly doubt she even think a slight of me....

*sigh*

a drop of tears fall onto mother earth..... it's really painful doing this.... she has been nothing but importancy to me.... she's more than just a girl....

crap...

again, u c how crazy i am?? close to retard... no offense to those mental problem dude but... this thing is really bothering me and killing me....

especially today~!! it has been an important date for both of us....

april 15

oh... its that time of month again....

i think i did a good job today... though sad but i did an excellent job in handling myself

check this out

i got more than few compliments today

the first came by this.... i visit my first customer... did a demo and try to close deal with her... this is her response

"jest, r u ok?? u look different from the first time i saw u"

i asked how different.. the haircut maybe.. haha

she responded "no, u look like a walking corpse... u don have the energy like u did the last time i saw u"

of course, i just got broken up.. what u want me to say or act.. jumping with glee?? i'm not that cold blooded... anyway i spoke to her..

she gave me a lot of encouragement... one of them being.... i'm only 26, doing my own thing while doing mba... i suffer now but great things will come my way later... she again give me a vote of confidence.... if its meant to be it will be.. if not, then its ok.... u'll c girls pouring in when u r a successful man....

how can i pour cold water on that statement saying negative feedback.. i respond with a smile...

she then continue how her marriage fail and how she wants to introduce girls for me... Haha~!! funny customer... i really appreciate what she did.... but i'm all fine by myself

whatever i don want to touch on that topic again...

anyway i went to my second appointment... same story, same statement and same encouragement

i'm really happy in a way they r being really supportive of me..

some even go to the extend of asking me to join their family for dinner on my birthday

i even got calls from friends supporting me asking me about my birthday....

i really really thank them for all the support that they show....

another friend from canada drop me a message.. we chat... he express much support and also gratitude that i had been very supportive of him as well...

i had change many times during the typing of this particular blog... the many times that i changed i was actually criticising or shooting at something but i know... as one once said... i only know how to shoot... i really want to change this... let's this be my first step

for once... i'm really happy while going to bed.... to have support during such tough time... really helps...... it really helps...

oh yea... happy annivesary to ermm.. myself... it's an important date to me... very important.... :)

can't help falling in love

i'm listening to this song by elvis presley called can't help falling in love

this songs means a lot to me and was sing when i was having this special dinner with her at sunway hotel.....

it's more than just a song

miss her company

really miss her company...

darn it..

teh c for breakfast?

i tried to have teh c every morning now, but in the end i still prefer to have milo ice...

u c it's difficult to change but i'm sure with much presistance i will... let's c how tough this road lead...

let's c, i had my last lunch with her and it was superb... i still remember the talk we had and what we did as well as the feeling that i had.... it was a really good lunch for me... april 8th to be exact

whisker away

wake up really early this morning....

feeling like crap.... but i was able to get hold of myself...

i almost shed a tear but i really hold myself back... i think i deserve a pat on the back...

there are nights when the wolf stay silent and the moon howls

i can't really get her off my mind.... yea, yea... it's some serious sickness eh...

got an early pm from a friend today.... was pretty surprise he read it...

a pat on my back stating i finally know what happen... no longer he needs to bear the pain of listening to me crying again...

thanks

as said, i really think we're probably few whisker away from ever after

stolen away

I don't have much energy to argue with u
I only know how to say sorry
i really want to go back to where we started from
u r crying again and i fail to comfort u
shaking my head, dissapointing with myself
i regret my action
many times, my action is hard to turn back
unfortunately it's equal hard to move forward too
how any heart break can a heart take
how many tears had i let u shed
your eyes are brimming with beauty carried away my heartbeat
your tenderness towards me carried away my heartbeat too
i'm waiting for the day when u will also remember
the happiness that we once shared

stunning

stunning... enough word said.. keeps me wow until now

part 4

ever wonder how come some girl would stick with a guy even though the guy is cheating outside??

for this past few days i have meet a lot of this type of girls and guys

one thing i realize and saw

when together this guy r really sensitive and gentleman to their women... they r sweet talker and just know the way to their heart

so yes, they r not really rich not are they any better because they cheat.....

girl really want someone they admire and someone who treat me like the princess their dad treat them...

she used to had disagreement with her family simply because of me... had it in her previous relationship too... no man acknowledge the effort she had put in... thats really really stupid of me

don say her... i couldn't even bring myself to forgive myself....

i don know how much or if i will even change but i knew... i need to do something.....

i know this is something i got to do, though not something i want to... it's better for me to accept the fact than hold on and hurt her... really want to work this out but i did not realize and change in time.... everybody say i shouldn't be in this relationship because i'm hurting... again i just don think anyone knows the whole story....

i never knew she had touch me this deep until my evaluation and realization... and my oh my... think back... i really miss a lot of things that she did and she did a lot of things which touches me a lot... which prompt why she is so special to me...

u go girl... do something for yourself too... :)

i still like u a lot and think u r really special but lets c if the chance will ever come by again... i don think there's a rush but take it slowly... afterall, i never thought i can ever be with u and there we were 3 years ago... i never thought i could have get u back but i was really lucky enough to get another shot... i firmly know... if it is meant to be it will be

it's really pointless going out and point my finger at everyone saying its this fault and that fault.... only when will i learn to study it's my fault....

blame other is easy if she's in high school.. if thats the case then u better off date high school people...

haven't been through a lot myself nor know a lot of people but i knew...

its pointless just being yourself without any quality or quality without being yourself

oh.. i got a feeling, at least for once... tomorrow i won't wake up with swollen eyes....

enough of the tease already.... lol, i know how bad i look

oh, check this out, even my student asked me what's wrong with me.. lol

rather than focus on work and forget about her... i think focus myself to be better is a better option.. why forget about her when what we both shared are something special to me... more than special it's extra-ordinary... i should be happy we were together for 3 years.... and i knew many wanted that did not even had a chance with her... really happy with it..... though i deeply regret my action

crap

so sorry despair23 for feeding u with such sadness as of lately... u have been really kind to me... ok i know u r a blogspot but i treat u like a good buddy here.. lol, u really does listen

u mean more to me than just a blog or a place to rant... u were created by someone special.. specifically for me...

*wink*

to my blogamaniacs out there... stay strong as outside is a tough world... thanks for the support shown.... no, for real.. thanks.... here i wish all reader the best in everything that they do... keep it up my friend.... u gys r doing a good job

april 14

standing up and standing tall... size doesn't really matter.. it's the attitude that will bring u anywhere....

fashion is not about the latest trend but about being yourself...

skill and luck plays a role but again... it's attitude that only successful person posses which make me the last one standing

part 3

life has given me 26 years of memorable memories....

it's really time to step up..... already 26 afterall....

i would want to see what plan god has for me....

oh yea, u better had a good explanation for all this....

:)

part 2

i used to evaluate on where i go wrong and how can i improve myself but as i fall into the comfort zone... i began to take this easily.... lol, i'm really really comfortable when being around her

i was never really that comfort while in my first relationship....

and through this i've learned... being too comfortable is never a good thing to a relationship.. it's good for the invidual though... again, being comfortable only applicable to women, never men...

almost to all times, men lost their track.... they forget about the rules of the game... they drop the ball... they did not do enough preparation.... they slip up....

a girl will only be with a guy they admire... that again i have to agree.. once u lost that admire thing.... be prepare to lose her as well

i began to think... what is it one thing that she still admire me...

Haha~!! nothing... or maybe she just didn't find what she wants in me.... but again, i firmly believe... if its meant to be it will be in the end...

when hit with such regret and dissapointment, seriously.... i reckon u better go and jump off the building... u r well good as a piece of crap... however if u have that potential then pull it up... don die first...

i was viewing her profile just now... i no longer shed a tears..... she gave me an impression of relief and for the very first time i understand the relief that she felt... i still won't in anyway wish her happiness yet, i'm being really realistic here... but i'm relief for her

when looking at her picture she gave me the impression of letting your little girl off at the beach... running playing water with her happy face smilling and laughing under the sun...

being with me it's seriously like attending ms. loke class.. our additional math class... u're there because u have to be there but only a handful admire the class... some don't even look forward to that class and i'm once of them....

i was being burden by this hatred, despair and sad baggage for the past few days... i feel more relief now... i couldn't however promise i won't be retard tom... but i will do my best to hold myself together....

as i'm evaluating myself on relationship, i look at how i handle my life as a whole and oh my gosh.. it's a train wreck... except being good at sales, i'm wrecking everything up...

of course i spoke of wanting to get married but i don think i will do a good job if i ever do get married... seriously

think back, i really admire the qualities she posses... haha, not many people see that... i'm sure there r people out there who understand her better... but the women that i came to learn and know... to me, personally i would say... she's an awesome girl in a relationship.... in her very own way...

i feel more than guilty now come to think of it...

i would say take this with a smile is much better than face it with a crying face.. though hard to control... but i'm very sure... god has a plan for me and her too....

its really for the best.... for everyone....

thanks god and everyone who share the same effort in enlighting me....

part 1

after a lots of crying, i finally began to c why i'm in where i am

it's true that god make this to make me learn something while also giving opportunity for others...

surely i have not learn my lesson well enough last year.....

yes, there's improvement but i doubt its of any better.... laying blame, thats what i'm good at... so stupid...

my old friend who spoke to me even asked what has happen to me and why am i so different... and yes, even my parents question that too... as i have lots of time to reflect on my attitude as well as character and what i have did or say.... i began to realize, something which i should have realize long time ago

the problem really lies in me

it's not really about "yeah, i'm free to look for some better gf... the cycle will still be the same for the problem is not solve...."

i still believe that if it is meant to be it will be..... who knows what future holds.... rather than speculate why not i really take this time and refresh myself

it has always been about me and i trusted that this time round.... plz, do think about others.... rather than focus too much energy into the emotion thing, i should learn to take it easy and giving human breathing space

i totally agree that character can't be change but if such does not change.... it's going to be the same cycle and it'll get back to square one...

this lead me to think of this

i had my first relationship.... it was a great relationship.... a very good one... i don't have much argument and were basically thinking the same direction... we enjoy each other's company and shared a lot of laugther.... an awesome relationship from my point of view, which in regards how fine it is... it were never meant to be..... we broken off after only 18 months...

my second relationship then came later.... caught me off my seat... being with her had always been only in dream and to really date her, was a really dream come true... it was the right timing and everything was perfect.... we had our fair share of arguments here and there but from my point of view, the one girl that i really like and one girl that i want to hold very tight on.... arguments lead to more arguments... and many times i fail to see why such argument took place and lay blame stating she was not being understanding enough..... pretty crazy... during a point i lost her but with much determination i won her back.... though now i've lost her out one more time....

i don really know what lies in the future but i knew if it is meant to be it will be... i knew we start off with that perfect timing but that perfect??

i trust that there's a plan for everything so it's really pointless to sit and cry.... although i have to admit.. Haha... sometimes emotions r hard to control but in regards... i think i should control it...

i hate to admit but i think i have really fallen for her... deep?? oh yea.. lol...

as i sit there and began to digest everything that was said to me... i began to think again

before all relationship started... i was really really into this chick that goes by the name E... chased her for quite a while.... nothing really happen.. now that i met her back, in regards of how much i wanted to be with her previously, i no longer want anything to do with her other than just a good friend.....

looking back at this.. again make me realize... it was never meant to be... if it is, it will be... and i don think i want to push that anymore.... rather it's better to stay focus and better myself....

i don think i'm superb but rather i have fallen into the jerk category..

the fact began to sunk in and i began to face it.....

its bad at first but it's pretty ok now... sometimes just need to learn to accept the fact....

receive a call earlier... this girl goes blablabla... oh wow, she can really talk... then she realize i got broken up.... she asked a lot of things too and goes blablabla.... i learned a lot from what she said.... and digest a lot myself too.. thanks for the concern shown though

she then asked me this funny question

A is dating B... B is a girl... A is a guy.... C came after B... B broke off with A and be with C... who is the wrong person

some answered C, some answer B

this is my take... u can play this game yourself too

i don't think C is wrong.. he is merely going after someone he wants... there's no wrong with it and there's tons of this type of guys outside.. i think he is only going after what he wants... be it B is in a relationship or not... If the relationship is solid, he can do nothing

now back to my answer... i think A would probably be the one at fault

now, don get me wrong... B is wrong too but i think her wrong can be forgiven

A.... the so called victim is actually the main cause of such problem... If A is doing an awesome job, again... B wouldn't be going anywhere

one once told me.. even after married if A treat B bad, it'll still end in divorce....

couldn't agree more.... of course there r however many As outside who don't have the shinning quality but is in a relationship... what happen?? they lose their girl and go around crying.. like me... yea.. like the pathetic me..