phd

i breath an air out... sigh, i speak to myself. Work has been hectic, to make matter worse i was being struck by a flu. worst still, i lost my voice this morning...

and i will be leaving to johor this coming weekend...

its 6.40pm now and i'm sitting here at starbucks all by myself.. funny how this time round nobody is drinking any coffee...

a slight thought of her grip me... i brush it off knowing all too well it'll only worsen my condition...

i'm very sure.. there r ppl who have walked a much tougher path...

i have spoke and told many ppl, don worry for lord will always show u the way... for we just have to put our faith in him..

i have grew to adapt and be a much stronger boy.. boy.. yea, i refer myself as a boy for i knew i will still break down when being feed with real bitter...

i went for an interview the other day and i am very happy to say i got admitted into the PHD research program.. though i knew my time will be more tight... i just couldn't wait for it to start... let alone graduate from it... just thinking of this makes me smile.. :)

my mom asked me about P the other day... i hesitate for a while and then reply that we just couldn't get along... she further asked why....

to be honest, does it really matter whats the real reason behind?? if she's really happy with her current state... does it really matter?? however thats not how i reply... i just shrug my shoulder and reply... just couldn't get along...

one of my friend shared my current sitiation to a whole group of people during a bible study session... i could have imagine them laughing at my situation.. lol.. trust me.. i'm very sure u will laugh too if u listen to my side of story...

they then replied.. "your friend (referring to me) is overly focus on that lady"

overly focus?? serious?? and she always said she's not my priority... once she walks out of my life.... i find myself having too many empty spaces... yes, it's too many and it is then i realize that other than work, its only her...

pathetic?? oh trust me... it sounds foolishly retard...

one of my friend once asked me why i cant let her go.... and i look back and answered... seriously, it's really about having a very strong feeling for her... i knew this type of feeling don't come easy and i knew once u lost it... its very hard to find it back

lol again eh??

i talked to a friend yesterday.... and i spoke to him about nice guys always finish last and how guys chasing girls happen all the time... its a constant threat and u cant stop this guy from chasing your girl...

he look at me and laugh... calling me stupid... i was puzzled... and i asked why he said so

he replied "your previous girl must have really brain wash u, she is so not simple"

i became more puzzle as of why he said so... i continue to asked.. why

he replied... "it's not about guys being a constant threat, but its about the type of signal your girl is sending which attract guys, if she sends a message as like i'm not available, u seriously think guy will still go after her??"

it makes sense to me...

"don't let a girl bring u around the park, u're maybe an asshole to her but to others u might be someone's superman"

more to share but as of now.. i need to go teaching....

let me make a shout again

"i cant wait to go into PHD"

:)