sorry dog

talked to a friend the other day and she asked me a lot about myself....

i spoke of how i just put my faith on god to let him dwell with things.... she asked me also about my relationship

i stay silent for a while and continued... "what do u want to know"

have u let he rgo and what happen between u and her?? this r her questions... i didn't answer

she asked again how is she doing

i have told myself to not let P get into my skin ever... though this question kinda irk me... i am not willing to let myself to be irk by P again

u c, i replied.... i don't really know... true that i can maybe know about her wellbeing by asking friends or going to her blog.... but the fact remain i'm so attached to her i don't even dare to go to her blog, her facebook page or just asked anything about her....

i afraid to know of something which i don't want to know...

she has been awesome to me and i just don't want to know something which will destroy such impression.... and yes, though we have gone through a lot but i always said... which relationship r smooth going?? there's always ups and downs

those r my answers to her

do i hate her?? to be honest.... i don't... i just don't want to dwell with her.... i no longer exist in her and i know... it has been so since long time ago..... i'm sure

however i knew i had give her my everything and that i had change myself so much for her.... but if i am not her cup of tea... it's ok for i knew god have his arrangement for me

i always says i am god's favourite son and i knew he love me so much.... he won't let me down... *praise the lord*

a girl asked me yesterday.... stating how she thinks i'm smart, well behave, funny and also ambitious is single now

i smile and replied... if i'm that good... would my previous girl left me?? true maybe we're not meant for each other.... i do have my weakness, a fact that shouldn't be discount off

but be it who is coming next.... i no longer want to be someone else.... i just want to be myself....

my last post i stated....

"u say don't love and u stop loving, leaving me 1 person in despair"

i am tired of being the despair one... everytime P let me go through this and i cried like a sorry dog while she on the other side... don't even drop as much tears as i do.... i don want to be the one who always on the end of side being afraid to get break up.... that everytime P went out with someone i'm so afraid she will get taken away from

u c, who ever is coming.... i am here speaking i don't want to cry for u anymore like a sorry dog...