may 11th

2.35am.. got woken up by a bad dream.... yea... the dream was bad enough to make me stay awake and write this blog....

i dream i lose her again....

lol.. lol... lol... this little red riding hood... man... is constantly in my mind... i suppose this is a good thing... enough to drive me do the things i needed to do...

anyway.... woke up early this morning... oh shoot... this reminded me that i need to finish that house chores... got to get that going by tomorrow i guess...

meet with a few customer today and hand in my assignment... the heat outside is so, so terrible... as i sat by a coffee house to get something cold to drink... i saw one of my course mate... we end up chatting over a cup of cold drinks... we talked.... he told me he will defer next semester, i was surprise to say the least... asking him why... he said he has lost focus both on work, family and school... maybe it's the workload that is burdening him causing him to lose his focus... he is going to stop for a semester to re-group himself... he got a point there...

he can't give up his work or his family and only sensible thing to do is put a pause on his school work... many would have disagree on the things that he does... saying how long is he going to drag this?? that it's time wasting for him...

i however agree with what he did... i understand how bad things can turn by losing focus.... having a clear cut objective is one thing... to reach the objective as focus as possible.. is at times not that easy... many ppl just scrap through...

it's like u taking a course... we all know we should pass the course but r we passing it with a 90 or a 50?? focus gives us 90 or above... merely getting through is a 50...

yes... u manage to reach your objective.. u pass but u did not give your best... because u're best is definetely not just a 50.... definetely.. that i'm sure...

let me share with u a true story... i used to be bad in mathematics.. really bad... i used to think.. oh math, i never think i will pass it.. i'm bad with math either way... this idiotic thinking... cost me dearly as i failed my add-math during my SPM.. yea.. u got that right... i failed it.. i got a 9 and thus i did not have add-math printed on my cert...

embarassing.. yes... but wait.. let me continue

as i continue to university... i have to go through this add-math again... it's called calculus.. as i look at my course outline... i have to take at least 15 credit hours of calculus... the first 6 is exactly the same of what i have studied previously in high school.. only that i fail...

i knew if i fail, i won't be able to graduate... i work really hard on the course... i still remember how i sat in front of the professor's room almost every single day... working on every single question from the calculus text book... now.. bear in mind i still have other course work to do... i was focus, determine and work really hard in that course and i'm proud to say the least that i score 96

from fail to 96.... and at the moment of me receiving my result... i knew.... everything is possible just by staying focus, being determine and put in lots of hardwork...

this apply the same on work and relationship too..

my relationship takes a bad hit because i was not focus and slip up.... i was that hungry and smelly dog that time... to change that dog to a confidence dog... is going to take some hardwork and time...

steady hands, just take the wheel
steady feet, don't fail me now

i have come long and climb high for this...

sweaty palms, don't slip up
nervous heartbeat, don't quit me on me now

if i were to sweat let the sweat of tiredness drown the fear
if i were to drift away, steady hands pull me back in the track
if negativity tries to feed itself on me, give it 1 tight slap

no.. for real.. crap.. my ego is flying through the sky... i need to pull it back down to earth before gavity works its magic... god always have a way to pull u back down to earth whenever we fly too high....

NO!! i will be steady this time... i'm in the business industry where i carry the weigh of my company on my shoulder... if i can stay focus there... i'm very sure i can on many other things too

little miss sunshine... cute little red riding hood... i won't fail u... u remember the dreams that i have told u about?? let the beemer do the talking......

3.30am?? man.. this blog took me an hour to write.. i better sign off now... got a breakfast with someone special tomorrow... i wonder if it'll be 3 eggs again this time round... oh well.. as many said.. it's not about the breakfast, the waking up early thing nor is it the morning fresh air... sometimes it's about who u have breakfast with that kick start your day

a morning hug or a morning coffee does make a difference..... i'm a little greedy.. i want both and a little more than that...

yea yea.. there u go again... i hear u!! hey.. i say i hear u... lol...

signing off... my two cents for today... may god give u the blessing to kick starts your day... he already did a good job for me... :)

smile and the world will smile back at u... think positive and positive energy will goes back to u... do good deeds and good deeds will come back to u... it's law of attraction......

till then... have fun blogamaniacs....