part 2

i used to evaluate on where i go wrong and how can i improve myself but as i fall into the comfort zone... i began to take this easily.... lol, i'm really really comfortable when being around her

i was never really that comfort while in my first relationship....

and through this i've learned... being too comfortable is never a good thing to a relationship.. it's good for the invidual though... again, being comfortable only applicable to women, never men...

almost to all times, men lost their track.... they forget about the rules of the game... they drop the ball... they did not do enough preparation.... they slip up....

a girl will only be with a guy they admire... that again i have to agree.. once u lost that admire thing.... be prepare to lose her as well

i began to think... what is it one thing that she still admire me...

Haha~!! nothing... or maybe she just didn't find what she wants in me.... but again, i firmly believe... if its meant to be it will be in the end...

when hit with such regret and dissapointment, seriously.... i reckon u better go and jump off the building... u r well good as a piece of crap... however if u have that potential then pull it up... don die first...

i was viewing her profile just now... i no longer shed a tears..... she gave me an impression of relief and for the very first time i understand the relief that she felt... i still won't in anyway wish her happiness yet, i'm being really realistic here... but i'm relief for her

when looking at her picture she gave me the impression of letting your little girl off at the beach... running playing water with her happy face smilling and laughing under the sun...

being with me it's seriously like attending ms. loke class.. our additional math class... u're there because u have to be there but only a handful admire the class... some don't even look forward to that class and i'm once of them....

i was being burden by this hatred, despair and sad baggage for the past few days... i feel more relief now... i couldn't however promise i won't be retard tom... but i will do my best to hold myself together....

as i'm evaluating myself on relationship, i look at how i handle my life as a whole and oh my gosh.. it's a train wreck... except being good at sales, i'm wrecking everything up...

of course i spoke of wanting to get married but i don think i will do a good job if i ever do get married... seriously

think back, i really admire the qualities she posses... haha, not many people see that... i'm sure there r people out there who understand her better... but the women that i came to learn and know... to me, personally i would say... she's an awesome girl in a relationship.... in her very own way...

i feel more than guilty now come to think of it...

i would say take this with a smile is much better than face it with a crying face.. though hard to control... but i'm very sure... god has a plan for me and her too....

its really for the best.... for everyone....

thanks god and everyone who share the same effort in enlighting me....