it's ok

got pm earlier just now... what did i get?? yea.. some yelling

of course i did not get mad but i think i lost my composure again and start to asked silly question....

actually to be honest i really and do care for her a lot... but i don't think this time round we're meant to be... it's ok

had really been in my life as well as in her life... can't be couple.. also canbe good friends i guess as we've know each other well.. but unfortunately i don think thats what she wants... it's ok

i would love to asked her out once in a while just to catch up or just talk to each other... as a person i feel very comfortable talking to her.. however i doubt it will happen... it's ok

i can sense she's extremely unhappy, and angry over other end... maybe again i make her feel that way.... my bad... it's ok

oh no, it's i'm sorry

she threw me a statement stating i don't know how to appreciate her... i shake my head... wow, i thought to myself... i really did a very very bad job....

i was looking at some of our pics... i can't even bring myself to smile.... no tears even drop down... i was just sitting there... pretty numb of what had took place....

i wanted to shout on top of my lungs...

i really think i have hurt one too many over the course of this relationship... if i ever go back in time.. will i make the same decision?? i will in sense of being with her but i would definetely not make some of the major mistake that i made

i remember our sunday conversation was pretty warm... the last pm conversation we had was cold... i fail to gage but again maybe i was asking the wrong question

i flip over the folder and tell myself... i guess this is it... the end of the chapter... many said it's already the end... i know, i know... it's not easy to flip the last page, u know??

i really hope she don't get mistreated this time round... whoever it is... good looking or not, rich or poor.... i think very important thing is.. she is really the top priority and the princess for that guy and not being mistreated

though i spoke of her being number 1 but work always seems to get the nod first... when we having arguments i would always want her to listen to me first before i listen.. the trust between us was so bad she don't even trust a single word i say and i got nobody to blame but myself... i said lies which destroy it all in the beginning.. and towards the end, no matter what i say or do.. i already hurt her in the beginning...

u know what is the worst feeling?? not about being ditch or being called off but unable to forgive myself for what i have done...

on paper i seems to be doing fine, with everything to live for, and have everything a lot of people don't even have... however at this moment, i feel so terrible i don think i deserve anything at all..

sound fragile?? haha.. silly me... i am when it came to relationship... though lack in sensitivity and act pretty emotionless at times... i am not on the inside...

i too want a simple and loving relationship... i also want to hold my other half's hand and just tell her how much she mean to me and that i really love her... that i want to make this last and build a happy memory with her...

and that many times i too will cry when u always leave me just like that...

i knew i had not did an awesome job and that i had create more stress as well as worries for u... i never meant that...

this love really makes me drop a lot and i mean a lot of tears.... i never realize a 26 year old guy who own a company and also been through hardship can cry like a baby... Haha.. no, seriously u can go ahead and laugh...

i don deserve that pitiness