its ok part 2

its not that i can't stand back up or climb back up...

as said, i need to give time some time... many many times i already put up a brave face and is moving on... but u know.. it's always one of those nights or day where when u see something it will hit u...

life always like to play games with us... make u all happy and stuff then suddenly pull u back down to earth... like all of a sudden, just like that

i don really want to hold any grudge or anger towards her... or anybody... for what to be honest

oh before i continue.... i really think during this course i had hurt few individuals.. to those peeps i would like to say i'm sorry... sometimes my words and action.. no no, i just think it's unforgiveable... i'm sorry

i realize a bit too slow and too late.... no, it's too late......

somehow i figure the other part of her would do a better job.... i can only offer the once in a while company that is if she is even comfortable with me around...

now u c how bad it is....

u know who i miss the most of this all?? ok, apart from P, it's capuchino.... the noseless dog... the dog that has been through many many tears with me and that has been with her through many sleepless night too...

i hope doggie can keep doing a good job.. :)

i seriously not mad at her... i think it's really normal for any person to find a better person for themself...

afterall how many more years we can live.. right??

i went visit my partner today and saw a photo album.. it's of him and his gf... they have loads of pictures and chinese words to it... seriously i don't know what they wrote there but it looks really sweet...

i don think anybody even bother if i can stand back up.. it's ok...

i talked to a friend the other day.... a lady... who maybe once had a crush on me... i past the chance to be with her while on the other hand decide to go full force and chase the other one back.... i was successful in chasing her back but to no avail... i lost her again.. how about the one that have a crush on me?? she is doing really really well.. that i can assure u...

so this thing begin to knock on my head

if it's meant to be, it will be

even if u lose her, if she is meant to be with me she will be back but even if she's back... she'll still leave if its not meant to be

i no longer want to be stubborn especially when it comes to relationship... take it easy will be the best option

i just want to do the things i want to do and during the course someone came by and be that someone, i'll just let flow take control then... it's really pointless forcing anything....

to P, i enjoy her company a lot and appreciate her full support.... i really do... i however just think along the line i make her feel i don't love her enough... that i love other things more... myself

oh god, to ye i pray.. please give me the strength to carry this... i really really need the strength...

pull the plug, do whatever u want... just get this over with.. your son is suffering and father above... bless your son who in need of your guidance down here... i need your strength more than anything

looking at her pics make me realize

P look lovely just like she did before except she don't love me anymore...